Murredith

Murredith Mar 2015

You are not doing 'you' wrong.

#short #you #sixwords #sixwordsshort

Murredith Mar 2015

Look at your hand.
Memorize the creases, the veins, the muscles, the little crinkles.
Look at your hand.
Watch as the tingles dissipate under your skin when you think of her.
Look at your hand.
Curl your fingers into a fist, grasping every memory you still have left of her.
It's time.

Close your eyes.
Separate your finger tips from your palm, release, open, let go.

Look at your hand.
Memorize the creases, the veins, the muscles, the little crinkles.
Look at your hand.
Watch as you freely move your fingers through the thin, cold air.
Look at your hand.
Curl your fingers into a fist, tightly closing every empty space you have ever held on to.
She was never there.

Close your eyes.
Separate your finger tips from your palm, release, open, let go.

#gone #letgo #release #moveon #shesgone

Murredith Mar 2015

scary place || 24/03/'15

The world is a scary place.
Unlike most scary places, & most scary things, & most scary people, you can’t run from it. That only makes it scarier, knowing that you can hide, & you can run, but no matter how hard you try you can’t run away from the world, & hide forever, without returning even for a visit. It’s not possible. You’d get sick of the new place, or get lost & end up back here, or maybe simply run out of oxygen.

#fear #hide #runaway #scary

Murredith Mar 2015

i love you. || 24/03/'15

Every time those three words left my mouth, I knew I'd hear them come straight back.
I liked the way those words sounded rolling off the tongues of others all so effortlessly.
I collected those words, said each time by new people, hoping someday maybe I could mean it but I never did.
Person after person, all I heard were those three words ringing through my mind.

The first time you said my name, I realized I could never let those words into my mind without a great deal of feelings behind them.
I thought about those three words millions of times, rephrasing them, placing them in different orders, hiding them between other words, but they never seemed to sound right to be said to you.
Suddenly those three meaningless words, didn't seem to cover all my feelings, though I still say them to you repeatedly, hoping maybe someday I will find stronger words to use, but for now,

I love you.

#love #iloveyou #you

Murredith Mar 2015

soulmates || 24/03/'15

I do not believe in soulmates because my mum got six kids out of a fourteen year marriage, but she also got two weeks of drowning herself in alcohol to **** the pain, followed by another man who does not quite keep up.

I do not believe in soulmates because I spent sixteen hours sitting on the bathroom floor with my Aunt on her wedding day while she threw up alcohol along with her arguments to her new husband as a honeymoon.

I do not believe in soulmates because my grandmother stayed with her abusive husband for seven years just to fill the void space in her heart, simply because she was dying, even though she was wise enough to know he was not 'the one'.

I do not believe in soulmates,
But I do believe in us.

#love #relationships #belief #soulmates

Murredith Oct 2014

losing war || 05/10/'14

Every tear that falls,
Rolls and hits the floor.
Every tear that falls,
Burns me even more.
With every step I take,
It kills me to the core.
With every move I make,
I fight a losing war.
As soon as I get over this,
You'll be back outside my door.
As soon as I don't want you,
You'll be back for more.
This demon that's inside me,
Only tries to hide me.
This monster that drains me,
Only wishes to pain me.
Will I stay in your empty heart,
Or did you hate me from the start?
You think you're all alone,
In this empty home.
But what you do not know,
Is this is where your demons go.
Are you free from hell,
Or could you even tell?
Would you even know,
If there's nowhere left to go?
Just keep knocking on my door,
I'll just fight this losing war.

— The End —