it hits. hard.
like a ton of bricks
being swung at your chest
like a wrecking ball at a building,
it knocks you sideways
and you lose control.
everything becomes involuntary,
i don't even know what words
are spouting from my mouth anymore.

i hate losing control.
i hate this.

i'm so afraid that
you do not think about me
as much as i you.

My body has formed a spot for you
To curl around me, limbs entwined.
a perfect cocoon.

Every single bit of me fits in every part of you.
You fit in me quite nicely too.
...
I hate the required "time alone"
When it means I don't get to sleep next to you.

That's not to say I don't need it, though.
We're holding up signs that say "I MAKE ART"
But surrendering to our surroundings -
cutting our fingers in hot kitchens.

So let's take our time, my love.
We'll grow through creation
And for me, while I do it
I'll be day dreaming about our little life together
And our inevitable dog.

Insecurities are common in far away love.
I know you love me, so it's odd to consider otherwise.
I've been here before, unable to communicate
with the humans around me, drinking wine and being celibate.

I want so badly to see your face inside my tiny plastic infobox.
I want to hear your voice saying those true words
that make my heart fall out of my body, into my socks.
you tell me to let myself go far into you. I will.

You're pixely. But when there is a poor connection, ours doesn't break.
LIES, we say. we mean it so badly.
I'm drunk, and you're sleeping, and that's all there is to it.
My past has offered nothing to consider what's worth doing

(******* time zones)

You see, I've been here before, but not quite so quickly.
So my fists are up, clenched and concerned
Until I see your box boy face and I loosen and I soften
and you tell me that you love me. And I believe you, and I love you too.

Bare with me, while I overcome my own insecurities.
You give and give, how loyal your face.
Your naked body and your warm singing voice
will have me swooning for years, just let it settle in place.

I love you, I love, I love you a lot.  
You said "come to Montreal with me" and I lost all other thoughts.
Now I wonder and hope that this dream will come true.
I want creation and love and it's all because of you.

So when I feel insecure, it's only because you're not here
Your hands and your eyes are out east, but you're here
I wish you were here, and you say that you are.
Your heart is with mine, what a beautiful thought.