Broken glasses, sorry can’t see well, wavy lines and broken, wrong ‘finds’

If there is something wrong tell me because I love you. I have done so little.
And I am so brittle.  

Your oks are fine and I feel like brokenness hid in them.
And I feel like I am in debt.
I guess you remind me of God’s love.
I owe so much but you never really forced me.

I am so scared and ashamed.  
Crazy and busy and unsafe.
“Vulnerability is my enemy” I always thought.

I love you. I hope you know that.

the cross before me,
it was meant to be mine,
and i saw love.

how your eyes gazed across the vast oceans.
how your heart and mind wondered how you got here.
in the middle of nowhere, your song meddles with the distortion of waves.
afraid to fall.
afraid that when you need help it won't be there.

the sun is shining, your skin burning.
the sharks nearly got you.
the boat shaking,
the waves nearly got you.

one light shone, the sky dark,
the trees painted your eyelashes and the waves made the tears of your eyes.

light flashes.
camera clicks.
you remember again,
you were in that popular clique.

at home.
you cried again.
at the boat.
you were afraid to swim again.

can't change your fate.
going through a lot.
a star shone,
the Savior was born,
he reached down,
and you danced upon your heartache.

Letter to the devil, and the pains of this world.

Dear devil,

How you doin with the fact you have already lost?
How you doin with the urgency of Jesus' second coming soon?

Just to remind you, you already lost, and, do I have to remind your suffering in the fiery lake of fire and sulphur...forever? Ye...I don't think so.

Depression, stop hanging on to them, stop hanging on to me! Stop pestering the children of God, and just stop blinding them of the light of the Joy of Christ. Stop it! You somewhat comforting and soothing feeling, yet is the sharp sword that really kills...

Anxiety, stop making me stop in my tracks and feel like a failure, stop making me stop in my tracks on doing God's will and plan for my life. Stop dragging me down.

For the pains and diseases in the world, you would never stop them from being loved by God. Never ever.

Final note: God rules, God wins, God is in control, God is the Most high, Most pwerful, All mighty, Holy Holy Holy, the Holy one, worthy of all praise and glory and whole-hearted sincere love and trust and obedience. You are not, devil.

Sincerely and truthfully,
The one you tried to hurt and pull down.

Under your loving hands, like an infant, I rest, protected in hand.
Under the vast emptiness and dullness of the galaxy, your light shines, your robe, O so white!
SO glorious your face, your presence!

Your presence, it caresses me, with just a little bit more, I would have been crushed and would have been drowned under my own tears and would have dented the marble floor with certain and whole-hearted knees.

How marvelous is that cross...a word won't fit it.
That cross...if only words, dots, dashes, and punctuation can have more to offer. An endless murky drowning sea of words of different fonts and sizes won't quite make the mark.

You made my mouth like a sharpened sword. Ready to fight for your name, ready to stand my ground, ready to make the darkness fear and make fallen angels regret their mistakes. They already are.
ready to open hearts and minds, as you call many to you.

You make me like a polished arrow. Ready to go wherever you shoot me, ready to tear down what the devil has built. Ready to have your word, the gospel tied to me, as I fly through the spiritual realm and spread your word, the gospel. Simply the gospel. NOTHING MORE NOTHING LESS.

You hid me in the shadow of your hand. You cover me. You protect me. You hide me even if it seemed like all eyes were on me. Maybe they are on you. I want to be more like you in image O LORD.  

You concealed me in your quiver, God USE me!!! IF only words quite make sounds of hunger and thirst and the cries of my spirit and my new heart to you! You polished me and I am ready.
Ready whenever you say its time to go, or then I have to stand strong. Ready whenever, wherever, however you call me.

You polished me.
I am sharpened.
I am a polished arrow and have a sharpened mouth.
"Okay LORD GOD, I am ready."

"Who are you?"
"Well, I am Joshua."

That's how I would have always said in the shock that someone, SOMEONE, talked to me.

No, I didn't know myself.
Locked in a chamber of anxiety and wanting to be among THEM on their shelf.
To be labeled as cool.
To not be like a fool.
Someone to be laughed at.
Mocked and torn I don't wanna be that.

Already torn I replace them with fake zest and excitement.
"Finally, I am welcomed."
When I left primary school, that place of...pretense and regrets, I stood there in the new school.

"Who are you?'
"I....don't know..."
"I mean...I play sports...I played catching with the cool kids..."
"Urm....well, I don't like cartoons..they aren't cool..."
"I am...."

"Who are you?"
No respond.
I feel like such a lost con.
Those aren't me.
Those answers aren't me.
"Please accept me..."

"Who are you?"