Quite sad really
How one can dream day by day
Craving another's lips
To taste their sweetness
Revel in their softness
Passion, overwhelming passion
Two lips meet
Not quite by mistake
Waiting, waiting, impatient
The right time will come
When will that time come
Waiting for a moment, and searching for what I do not know
Hoping for that sheer moment of magic
Anticipation building
When one least expects it
Ta da
Magic

Ive seen you from afar
Ive seen your gentle smile
I pushed my tender thoughts aside
Ive just looked straight ahead
I feel this nervous feeling
Its hard to look your way
I cant ignore emotions
Though ive survived this way
There may be somethinh special
It may be in my mind
But what I know
For this is true
Is you dont waste my time

If I were strong
I would say I'm not okay
But I am weak, so fine I stay
If I were to stare down into your face
I'd smash it in with my graceful words
Swords, knives, that's what your words feel like
I feel this ache in the space between our sour meetings
Do not touch, so I won't touch
See no evil, so I look away from you
I'm weighted down by the emotions that lay heavy within me
I carry them like shacked round my ankles
I carry them in spaces between my teeth and tongue
They fall out when the pressure is too much
It all spills out, soiling the sacred ground
Burying the good news which surrounds me
I have this ache in my chest, where love used to be
It's dull and sad and it pains me
You smile, I cringe
You laugh, I cry
You gain control and I wither in my soul
In this ache, I want you to feel these knives and aches and pains and stops and starts and agony and woe
But no
You simply won't
It's this battle in my head and my chest and legs and if I stretch far enough, breathe deeply enough, and smile widely enough
I will no longer think of you
No God
No bad
Oblivious
In bliss

I didn't give you consent
To change the meaning

For the first time in months
I saw you again and my heart stopped
I could hardly look at you
But I had to keep looking at you
I couldn't talk to you
But I wanted too
I told myself to let this go
I promised that I'd decide instead to forget
I knew I would find my true feeling
In that fleeting moment
And now that I've laid eyes on you again
I simply can't get you out of my head

If I fell
Who would you tell?
I fell for you
And you never even knew
Feelings compromised?
I'm quite surprised
That you never even knew
That I fell head over heels for you
I always looked right at you
Made sure to smile wide too
The things I said were well thought out
I was cautious, flaked with doubt
Was I sweet, does he think I'm nice?
I began ignoring my friends advice
Months later I still write about you
And it's because I wish that
You had fallen for me too

Such a shame
A one sided relationship
Shall I add up each effort
All my care
Each phone call
Both shoulders to cry on
With nothing in return
I try so very hard
A best friend to me, you mean the most to me
Why do I not mean as much?
Why must I try so hard?
Closeness is not one sided
I'm beginning to see
What I've tried to ignore
Please, be with me
But if not, just tell me
I can't take this
I care for you so much
If I'm inconvenient
Just tell me
If I'm trying too hard
Just tell me
If I should give up on this
Please tell me

You love her
She loves you
But who loves me here?
I do.
I am so much happier without you
I am so much wiser since you left.
Have your fun, live your life.
Maybe she'll become your wife?
Whatever happens, I won't know
But I will be happy-
Oops
I AM happy, just loving me.

Black cat black cat
Don't step on that **** crack
Break a mirror
Bad luck begins
Or just a foolish game we wish to play
Who created this luck business?
Silly childish games
But avoid that ladder  
Friday the 13th
Beware beware the black cat
Hear the warning
Watch your step
Silly childish games

Now, where has my inspiration gone?
I'm afraid it's left for awhile
The objects that gave my words meaning
Are lost to me now

I'm at a loss, a total loss
I've completely lost my drive
My poetry revives me
It's what I love to write

Look through what I have written
Mostly of a current disappointment
So how to move forward, I'm uncertain
I just can't put words to it

I've lost my love for poetry
I've lost the passion and drive
I'm stuck here with no subject
Even this feels contrived

I'm done for now
Maybe I'll return
You just keep ruining things for me
I'll take my break
And then I'll learn
What deep, meaningful words mean to **me

I can’t take this 
It’s purely indescribable 
Pulses racing 
Mind going blank 
Feeling like
Out of control 
Stop doing this to me 
Never mind, I love it 
Don’t ever stop 
I need this feeling 
The euphoria 
Can’t be real 
What’s going in 
I swear I’m in heaven because I feel like I’ve transcended 
Doesnt take much 
How can you do this 
Funny thing, you’re oblivious 
Utterly, and thankfully unaware.

Who am I fooling?
Certainly not myself
Mere moments passed where I erased you from my mind,
Eliminated your presence from my beating heart
Who am I kidding?
The moment I see you again, I'll feel it all again
I can only pretend for so long
Why is it you ,of all people, to make me feel just so?
After the tears, and the contemplation
I've come to no conclusion
I am at a loss for words
My emotions frighten me far too much
Maybe when my head is clear, though it won't be
When my heart is open, though it won't be
When these thought of you leave my mind
Which they won't be
Please, go away, go away, I think
I don't know
I just don't know

I dreamt of you and your sweet lips last night . The way they meshed with mine was perfect. Your eyes sparkled when you pulled away, and your pupils dilated at the sight if my face. Again we kissed and it was gentle. None of that sloppy , tonguey business ; only a brief touch of your lips against mine. But, in that moment, I knew you wanted me. I could tell by your lack of hesitation. I could tell by your passion and stance. I could tell by your smile I felt as your lips pulled away. And, I knew , at least for now, that we would be happy for awhile .

Ladies and gents
An execution
Tick tick goes the laborious clock
And poor old nick waits in sick anticipation
Hear the sound
The blade drops down
Slicing through the skin and bone
Dead, correct ?
False
What tends to end clean doesn't
Poor old Nick, beheaded, yet coherent
Laughing, torment, cheering, he hears it
Pain burning
Blood boiling as if pouring from the gates of hell
Descended from Satan's veins
This excruciating pain, reaching a ******
Yelling, burning, crying, burning
A tear rolls down
The crowd does down
The town resumes
Poor old nick
A dead, miserable man
What a way to go.

I will feel discomfort
It's apparent I'm uneasy
I'm terrified of
Scrutiny
Popularity
Simple conversation
Doesn't take much thought
Mind on a constant cycle
Yo'u can't, you won't, you'll fail
Cycling on an endless track
Soon
My fears will be made apparent
And I will have no choice
But to go back to this place
Which fills my soul with
Turmoil
Dread
A slow growing anxiety
180 days
Then it's done
For me school is far from fun
Cycle of anxiety
Shall I cope?
I soon shall see

Inconsistent
My feelings are fleeting
I'm at a particular point
Where you still send my heart beating
My eyes not leave your eyes
I envision kissing those lips
For I can't get you out of my mind
I know I love this feeling
And my emotions are quite strong
But you'll never share this wonderful feeling
And that's why I feel that it's wrong

It breaks my heart to think that you won't see me in that special way
I can't make you feel anything
I can't make your feelings disappear
We feel the sane emotion
Funny thing is
I'm not sure how much she cares
Not that it matters
Silly teenage fantasies
What do we expect?
Some miraculous love affair?
Preposterous
Eventually this feeling will have to fade
And be replaced with wretched sadness
Yet, I already feel it

It breaks my heart to think that you won't see me in that special way
I can't make you feel anything
I can't make your feelings disappear
We feel the sane emotion
Funny thing is
I'm not sure how much she cares
Not that it matters
Silly teenage fantasies
What do we expect?
Some miraculous love affair?
Preposterous
Eventually this feeling will have to fade
And be replaced with wretched sadness
Yet, I already feel it

It breaks my heart to think that you won't see me in that special way
I can't make you feel anything
I can't make your feelings disappear
We feel the sane emotion
Funny thing is
I'm not sure how much she cares
Not that it matters
Silly teenage fantasies
What do we expect?
Some miraculous love affair?
Preposterous
Eventually this feeling will have to fade
And be replaced with wretched sadness
Yet, I already feel it

Never have I experienced quite a whirlwind of emotion
I hardly dreamed meeting one like you
It happened unexpectedly
My heart grew fond, rapidly
That momen when you just feel it
Is it love?
Is it lust?
What it is, I care not
The joy, and mirth,
As if you descended from the Kingdom,
By the aid of Angels on gilded wings
I'll never find one whose eyes turn my soul to mush
Eyes that have seen what I haven't
Lips so itching to be kissed,caressed
A mind so malleable, ever growing
Full of ideas I could hardly comprehend
This first instance, completely unexpected that I'd feel this strong
I developed a passion, this deep passion
To know you and your name and your mind
'twas my choice to let you know the words from my heart
I hope you look back, understand that
This was the first time I'd ever felt such
Strong, euphoric, emotions
Sweet affection
First love

I dreamt last night
And you were there
And you were there with me
I caught your gaze, and you caught mine
Our feelings just worked out this time
We sat and talked, and laughed as well
We seemed in sync that day
I wrote for you, you wrote for me
I smiled at you, then you kissed me
Dreams are sweet, although not real
They help me sleep at night
It's in these dreams where I resolve the things I do not solve in daylight
I know this vision won't likely be a scene that is so real
But in my dreams we kiss, and laugh,and touch, and smile, and feel

I think that I think
Far too much about things
From the way that you talk
To the way that you speak
I think you are a soul
With a body surrounding
A mind that is full
And a stare that is binding
I think that I think too much
About you
I think you are a guy
The way others are too
I think that I like you
Your nice disposition
And that is enough
No further inquisition
I think that I think too much
Of your eyes
Your face, your laugh
The space between your thighs
You are a person, as am I
You are imperfect, as am I
I think that I wrote this for me, not you
You may not see this
But I'm aware that I do
Need to know that I think too much about things
Like love and hope and delicate things
I think I'm okay, and i think you are too
Let's see this one out
If its one or us two

Not thrice
Not once
Twice you said it
It's a silly thing with me,
To hear someone call to me, address me
So to only hear you say it twice
My namesake rolling out of your lips
With that perfect way you speak
Twice
How often I talked of you, and relished in your magnificence
How often I called to you
And you did twice to me
Was this a hint from the beginning?
No, I'm simply being daft
Yet I can't help but wonder
Just how often you spoke of her
Absolutely, positively, more than twice

As I lay upon the earth
My lids flutter shut
In an instant I'm transported
Into the recesses of my subconscious
The wheels turn swiftly
Images come alive
Within my mind
Lay my thoughts and desires
In the land where I dream,
It at seems too real
The plans I hope for, the dreams I pray for
The feelings I yearn for
The boy I long for
Too many things, so many things
One track mind, not a chance
While my lids lay shut, my head and heart open
I don't have to see to believe

I bet
She makes you laugh
Until your sides hurt and you can't breathe
I bet
Your head was spinning when you kissed her
And every time after that
I bet
She feels safe in your arms and when her hand is in yours
I bet she makes you smile, even just hearing her name
I bet she's nothing like me
Not like me at all
I couldn't make you laugh,
And the thought of us together made you appalled
It would have never happened you and I
I bet
We would have hated each other
I bet
Our kisses would be forced and cold
I bet
I would have grown to like your hand in mine
I bet we would have never lasted
But, I know I would have loved it anyway

It's been so hard
Erasing you from my brain
Why can't I just get over you?
I have it so badly, don't you see?
No matter how much you try to ignore me
We tried to be friends, but that hardly worked out
And you don't want more
But I want more
I want a good chance
To show my affection and care for you
I can treat you ten time better than she can
Make you laugh better than she can
Talk to you better than she can
Listen better than she can
Kiss better than she can
And maybe, just maybe, if given enough time,
I could love you.
I don't, but I could
I haven't kissed you, but I could
I haven't touched you sweetly, but I could
I haven't shown you all of me, but I could.
I haven't loved you, but I would.

I didn't use to believe it
But now I do
Mutual love will occur
If its pure and true
One can't force what just won't happen
Only pray for the best
Dream up the possibilities
If you fall in love, I hope for you
That the one you feel for
Falls quickly for you too
If not, fear not
Time will let you know
If its okay to wait, or time to let the love go
A sad thing, love lost
But better a sound mind and broken heart
Than a heart holding on to love lost

When I fell, it was for your eyes
Your perfect, gentle smile
I fell for the way you so gently looked up at me
I fell for that **** accent
And even harder for your mind
You captured my heart with your sweet words
And I surrendered, at first unwillingly
You never realized the way my heart beat
Whenever you were near me
I fell so hard for those pauses you make, whenever you're thinking intently
I wished I could ignore your true feelings, and that I was in this one sided
I fell hard even when you told me your heart was with someone else
I truly fell for your sweet , kind soul
It's hard to find those so kind and open
I think in the end what I fell for the most
Was the fact that you were just different
So different than anyone I'd met, giving me feelings I've never felt
I'm just so thankful to you for that
I'm just so thankful I fell for you

Not a day goes by
Where I don't dream about your eyes
That way you look at me
That sends my head spinning
You flash a smile, bite your lip
Little do you know that my heart beats on
Rapidly, pounding
Your voice contains a certain
Effortless sensuality
Sends me on a whirlwind
In the evening, when I lay to dream
My visions are of you
In all your splendor
A shame though
That they're simply dreams

Constantly doubting
In a state of questioning
What is it that draws me in?
Can I break free
From loves cruel grip
I feel so weak in this
A matter not under my control
But who's is it?

Tears dripping across my cheeks
When I recall that way I felt
Knowing you wanted her all along
The kindness
Sweet words
Smiles
All misinterpreted
Silly, naïve me
Heartbroken, lamenting
No one to relate to
For others are lucky
Some in life don't get the romance
The hugs, soft touches, warm kisses
Sweet words, love letters
All they get
All I get
Is pain
Embarrassment
The crushing blow of rejection
Never did I know a pain more persistent
Tears continue to fall
Soon they'll stop
But that pain will return soon again