your sheets are layers of clouds  
floating between our arms and legs
like a budding storm between crooked cranes
along the river just over the bridge

discover me in the morning, early and dark
before the cool rain spills onto hot pavement
your hand finding it's way up my thigh
like a blowfish ascending towards the sky
swimming through the breeze of cracked windows
catching raindrops with outstretched fingertips

i can feel summer between my toes
soggy soil and fresh grass inviting my nose
and for a moment the sky becomes clear
blue and bright, not a cloud in sight
then I feel the sun graze my cheek
it's warmth, the sweet bite of summer heat

and so I wake, morning sun peeking through
the shades covering your bedroom
I arc my neck to you, still half asleep
you pull me close to drift back into dreams

I always thought that I'd see you again
corn teeth and bloodshot eyes

We were young, in college
and always high

The gun under you pillow
didn't seem so strange

We hiked, drank, sang
watched old movies all day

It was months before I knew
you were sharing a bed with another

I hated you for making me feel foolish
and ****** you after you cried

You weren't found for weeks
and neither was she

I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
For her, for you, for me

Sometimes I just want to close my eyes
feel the sun, bathe in the moonlight

I thought I saw you on the freeway
Looked back to see a stranger's eyes
staring back at mine

I feel your heat in the morning
I press my palm to your back again
If only you were breathing
I wish I could stop this sneezing

Cover your body with the comforter
wash the linens, empty the dishwasher
It's easier cooking for two
Ceramic bowls for me and you

It's so cold when the wind blows
over the clumps of ice and soft, heavy snow
packed hard around the doorframe now
not much reason for me to get out

I still see you looking back at me
when the screen goes black on TV
I don't recognize myself

I pulled the carpet up out of the floor today
exposed the stained, cracked wooden boards
and I thought about how we'd roll around
to the sounds of old records on the ground

The walls are bare and my hands are numb
I tiptoe around thoughts of my old gun
to these charred, heavy logs I'll succumb

Leave me to the ashes, bring me back to you
Let the fire exhale and breathe me life anew.

You came in the room, freshened up my coffee
dipped your head to my shoulder, said you felt so happy
turned on the tv, laying on your couch
under cream colored blankets and drinking whiskey
the rain had finally started falling
I kissed your neck and said you're everything
I kissed your cheek and said don't ever leave me
how can this all feel so easy
my tortured past felt so hazy
you looked down at me with amorous eyes
lazy, wide, searching for me inside
I touched the sunburn on your chest
warm and bare, then exposed the rest
I'd like to remember the way you looked that night
dancing around in the bright kitchen light
singing wildly as you cooked
you grabbed me round the waist and pulled me
close to your body and said you missed me
I won't ever forget the way you touched me
I threw my head back and felt the ecstasy
you pushed my hand back and fell silently
into my body like the rainfall, softly
cascading down the window next to me
I never want the rain to stop
please don't ever let this rain stop

I can smell the honeysuckle
feel the warmth and
salty sweetness
of a season not yet blossomed
You tucked the bloom
behind your ear
and smiled
You brushed your hand
across my leg
and looked away
I kissed you
and knew
summer had finally arrived

where are we going?

i turn up the music

close your eyes*

i roll down the windows
i turn onto the runway
i switch off the lights
i press into the pedal

she pushes out her hand
she ***** her head to the side
she lets her hair blow back
she smiles

we scream, yell out
into the black
biting wind of night
howl, moan
until our lungs crack
like poppers on summer pavement

we hate being so young
we hate growing so old

my hand is out the window
cutting through the air
crisp, autumnal, and light
I think of slipping into the sea
floating on my back, with my
head to the sky and my eyes
closed tight, arms spread wide
the water is lapping up
around the edges of my skin
trying to pull me in, down, under
so deep I can't breathe, see, feel
you
your touch
your tender love
so I gasp and tread to stay above
and feel the wisps of winter
lick my cheeks and kiss my nose
just as I open my eyes
to see you
sleeping
soft, still