I want you to smile.
I see you trying; you know how
Frowning turns me off.

But you'll always slip back
Into old neuron habits,
Won't you?

You'll say this is who I am, and
You know where I come
From.

Yes, I know where you come from.
So let it go.
Every time you thought things were

Getting better, they were.
Every time you felt the world let you
Down again, it didn't.

You just
Fell
Back.

Start smiling more.
Grow from
There.

Things
Smile
Back.

There's not much out here.*
I only invite people who
Say just that

With a slight
Gasp of
Relief.

Let's stop putting the label Bad
On our delicate little planet.
Yes, she has ugly skin on parts of

Her continents. Some sour rain,
Some rash from her seven billion fleas.
But she deserves more.

Yes, so perhaps she's only one blue
Eye on the face of the solar system.
A shivering cyclops

Afraid to meet the gazes of duality,
Yet standing tall against
The Jupiters and Red Giants

Of the immediate Universe.
But there, in the black eclipse-dot
Of her iris,

A smoker quits
For the sake of his children,
And I see what it costs.

So I recline, eyes closed,  
In the warmth of a cigarette ****
Crushed under a heel

In its lastness; a little, empty
Crucifix -now a cross-
That reminds me that the sacrifice  

That any non-smoker (not an ex-
Smoker) would never understand,
Comes from the same place as

Those things that make us stop and
Wonder at the selflessness that
Makes Earth

Not a victim orb of crap, but a spaceship
Where angels hike on their time off
Just to experience

The factors of Humanity
That make us stop putting **** in
ourselves, and start loving.

I don't know
Whether I love you,
Or just the idea of you.

I don't know
If the sun will still shine
Two days from now.

I don't know
How I do this
Every day.

I don't know
I think I do
But I don't.

I don't know
If I'll wake up
Tomorrow. Will I?

I don't know
If I will ever see you smile again
Will I?

I don't know
What would happen
If tomorrow never came.

I don't know
What I'm doing
But its got to do
With your name.

I don't know
If I do.
But I do
I do love you.

When I was born,
It was the happiest day of my life
Well I don't know, but I'm sure it was.
I looked at you,
Into your eyes,
And somehow I knew you were my mother.

As I got older, our bond grew stronger.
As I got older, we almost reached perfection.
And as I got older, we argued more and spoke less.
But in the meantime I knew;
For me, you only wanted the best.

I thought,
"So be it,
She's my mum,
She knows me better than anyone."

Years went by,
We started speaking more again.
We bonded again, just like the start...
But now? Now we were stronger than ever.

A few years ago, in a hospital room
When I was born,
Crying and kicking,
Smiling and laughing
Yes, I know your muscles were tight.

But the day I was born, I looked at you for the first time
And close up I witnessed love at first sight.

Cough cough cough
the cigarette is passed around the group
cough cough cough
the cigarette makes its way to you
and your stuck wondering what to do
you can smoke and be cool or
not and be left out

so you smoke with no doubt
that you made the right choice
because
you are still a part of the group
cough cough cough

Rosy red cheeks shrill as roses
Their laughter ripples smooth as honey
And crummy fingers sticking to their noses
The youth stampedes over quiescent duties

And with their tiny, spiky teeth
And eyes which devours everything
They don't hang their pride like wreaths
For what can be said, they're always smiling

And a splash in a shimmering puddle
Red boots soaked thoroughly for good
With frosting instead caking their lovely riddles
They may the wiser of the rue

A shadow of night
Hope festering among stars
My heart clutched in
The palms of my hand
As thoughts wield into luminous scars

A lost affection resurfaced by light
A habit, that is
Whispered as time etches Her might
And through the weight of Her fists
Need not to dwell for what is missed

So I collected the remnants of my heart
And began to ask from my very vain soul
What yet that is not the light?
I turned the coals from my eyes into rubies
And my heart opened to the entire world

Swiftly.

Swiftly, the golden liquid entailed the burrowed shadows crested within the grooves of earth
The grass jeweled of impeccable brilliance
The air sighed its silvery rush, a singing river kissing the bare of my neck, my cheeks
The curves of soil swelled with intimacy
And shadows thrown upon the land spilled in grooves as inky as distant space
The sky unburdened its fury sorrow and emblazoned
A vivid turquoise, a tangible race among the heavens

And swiftly.
Swiftly I lived among the breezy bliss, the spilling of heavenly light
And the fury of the sky so clear, so blue
My feet carry me so far, so anew
I drink in the golden brilliance of the sun
And roam the beauty with a steady gaze

I breathe, I sigh,
I see, I choke
The sun smiles, its radiance spilling
And lifting the rusted film drowned from a weight
—that is, a weight I know too well—
A weight hidden within the roaming waves
A weight, washed ashore upon tempest burdened of a woman’s cowardice, isolation and fear

I see, I choke
I believe, I don’t
Swiftly, the brilliance returns to the depths of the sea
The cold brews
My breaths are sharp, short, burdened with ice
My steps fall aloof
And I fall

Shut my eyes and there is nothing I can see
Nothing to tell
Feel the earth upon timid, outstretched fingers
And nothing befalls
The wind howls, and I curl in a naked groove
Where you are
I will be, gone, gone, away
Anywhere in between, take me
Will you emblazon my world as once forth?

And as I quiver within the frozen ashes
And swim within the depths of my misery
Will thy hour come upon me?
I keep afloat yet my feet dredge
And I wonder upon the path,
Blind,
Passively

And forever, I will wait
Forever I will wait,
For that golden smile to cover me in sweet melodies
And to roam my eyes upon the emerald blades once again?

And forever, I may wonder,
Slowly,
Entranced in grace,
Quietly, silently,
Yet peak bravery, courageously
I may desire your light
But I will take my own flight.

Will you return into my arms?
Will you kiss the nape of my neck, as once before,
In a distant memory?
Nay, I say, I have grown.
I will pave my way, wield my own destiny
I will leave you
Yet cherish the memories I have gained from you
And carry my own heavenly stars
Forever in my heart.


That is my way.
And only my way.

A blistering, scorching day
Air a delicate buoyancy
A rattling, raspy day
The breeze scents of pollen melodies
And clatter of crystal-cold lemonade rays
The Earth swoons with boundless fertility