its this feeling...
a feeling like thousands of vibrations hitting my skin
like a volcano ready to erupt...
like its already erupted but it slower than usual...

its not a stinging pain, but a warm one
hot and strong, like the anger and sadness is making me it own
like hot coals down my throat
a heat radiating within...

and just as quickly as the warmth is there
it vanishes and leaves me with nothing but cold
like the coldest snow on the mountains...
like ice running across my skin...

and it...it leaves me breathless...
the stinging pain of cold,
and the corruption of the heat,
leaves me empty

no happiness, no pain...
nothing but the almost sensations  of something
something that could've been
something that would've been
and it wraps inside me through the inside out

and it feels like you...

The same darkness
The same tears
The same mental torture

They play an infinite
They play the nightmares
They play my fears

The memories that need be forgotten
The memories that haunt me till the end
The memories that bring me back to darkness

It destroys me
It kills me
It steals away my soul

Until I am no more
Until I give up hope
Until I give into the night

I'll whisper sweet nothings to you darling,

You'll sing me songs written by the stars above,

And in the end we can call it love

Thoughts running through my head
Every single one of you

Your smile is what brings light to my day
Your kiss helps me to breathe

You are what makes me wake from sleep
You are my and always will be my everything

And yet it seems things always get in the way
Arguments and wrong decisions always find their way

And there is no one to blame but me

I pray that one day I will finally be perfect for you
My only wish I wish to come true

I make mistakes and am always wrong
And you still love me.

Things seem so hard now but they can only get better
Or that's what I hope at least.

The moment you told me you loved me I felt nothing
now that you hate me all I want is to hear you say is we're okay...

It seems as though you hate me
or so I've heard...
but even I don't know the truth

I've tried to retrieve my friend back
but they are no longer there
the smiles, the hellos are no longer for me

my friend is now my enemy yet I have done no wrong
I've tried, I've been hurt, I'm never different...
The moment I didn't hear you say anything I felt something....

whispers in the wind
are broken...

laughter in the soul
to quiet it scares me...

thoughts in the mind
they slowly kills me...

no one in to protect me
i'm fading...

emptiness in my heart
please help me...

Tattoos ran up and down her body...
Beautiful pieces of artwork that she alone understood.

For she, herself was like artwork...
Seen by many and understood by one.

Me.

I hear your voice like a whisper
Taunting me, tormenting me,
With your words of secret....

The daggers of your tone,
The sharpness in your eyes.
     Are killing me slowly
            Until I am no more...

Your grip on my heart is painful
Your control of my mind destroys me
Your venomous words dissolve me
And yet I am still here

My Fault
My Tragedy
My Burden

My Life
My Promise
My Love

it holds, *consumes, takes over

                   but in the end.
              
                               it reminds me.
                                          
                                            **I'm alive.

Can they see me?
Can you?
Do you realize what i feel towards you?

I hide behind my shadows hoping to never be revealed...
my lonely fate..
my tortuous thoughts
always to be sealed...

Hiding behind walls
scared to see the light
fighting off the sadness
scaring off the madness
always daring to try and fight...

my sadness  it is hidden
my fear has no escape
A lonely...
            a loveless  ...
                        and terrible fate....

few do see
as few do know
who i am
and what i know...

hidden behind walls
scared to be free
oh please i beg you
just truly see me...

oh how you remind me of storms...
   like lightning you *shine
       like thunder you cry
            and your soul, oh your sweet soul,
                like darkness engulfing the night sky...
                     as I whisper...  *engulf me in your darkness too

Today I jumped off a cliff
And as I fell I could only think of what was to come
Falling, I dove until I pierced the cold dark waters
The bitter salt stinging my eyes as I try to rise above
Only to realize the harsh waves pushing me down

The struggle to keep my head above
The struggle to breath

Below me,
I feel the hundred of bites from sharks
Their sharp teeth in my skin
dragging me down

And the thousands of jellyfish stings
weakening me
forcing me down
forcing me to blend in and become one of them

But I can't
I must prevail
I must take on the pain
I must move on

And as I pull free and swim further away I hear them call
You're weird! You're ugly!You're an outcast!
And though the words constantly replay in my mind
I must use them as strength to move on

I must succeed
I must push through the waves
I must ignore the pain.the stings, the bites.
I must swim against the current.
I must fight it.

Although they still try to drag me down
Try to make me like them
I can never be...
I can only be me...

For my island, my home, my sanctuary.
is not far away...
I must be free...

To all the people that are lost,
lost like me...
Lost in the storm
Lost in the sea
Just simply lost in life
even to those who don't know of they're lost...
i wish to simply say "Hello"

like icy wind, your lips cold and pale blue…
you arms wrap around me, trap me, in icy love
words whispered words screamed all emotion vanishing
your cold surrounds me your cold holds me until i am no more
i am now cold too…

You know the saying
* if you love someone let them go and if they don't come back then they were never really yours*
well you came back....just not soon enough....

“I’ll always be there for you.”
The words I crave to hear from you my almost love.....