I am a mutation,
an anomaly,
unique,
a rarity,
and other words,
that mean different,
and alone.

Myself.
I went out,
Stripped naked
To the cold.
And looked at all
The pieces of myself
I had not yet sold.

Satisfied there was
Still enough of me left,
I went back in
To the warmth
And safety
Of my nest.

Vow's were said. His finger's crossed.

Away from my lungs I think it's good
that I haven't cried in front of my mom
and have had no time to shed tears for men.
Away from alveoli my blood just can't
take me anymore I breathe and it feels
different from what it's supposed to be.
I remember about everything and decide
to close it forever away from words and images
I think it's good that I can't talk anymore.
This throat is happy enough I'm not
trying to spoil the joy but I want truth
and at the same time lies.
Away from memories and thoughts I think
this is better than drowning even though
I used to be a deep sea creature.

longhaired, honeyvoiced
husky alto is the voice of
an angel, deep and moist
***** buzz like a bee

i'm so tired
of being

both mentally and
physically

i'm so tired of having
to
be present
to  be in a place i can't
recognize
to be in  a time i can't
relate to

i suppose my body hurts more than my tolerance

just since when did exist
ing
become so  painful
ly  heavy?

my body falls
even    deeper
my body stinks
even stronger

i swear i
loved                           life
i swear i   lived          life

a life that
is not mine
a life in a      body     i do not
own

xviii.       i   grow like a pimple

only that i       stay

permanent stain, perhaps


concealer

Where is he?
He abandoned me here.
They take me outside and the leave me in the cold.
It's my only pleasure in the day.
I need someone with me.
Do you have any idea how lonely I feel?
Do you even know how alone I am?
Where is he?