Drink in your feelings.
They go down like thick and grainy cough syrup,
And come up like thin and boiling coffee,
Suffocating your breath like *****.
Let them choke in your mouth and nose,
Strangling your better judgement and your hopes for better thoughts.

Drown in your self pity

She doesn't love you: never did.
You can't say she's gone when she was never there.
How many times must you throw yourself into the middle of heartache, like a courageous fighter into the ring.
You aren't courageous, only stupid.
No Rocky Balboa are you, just a love sick boy full of too much hope.
Why Are you testing your good fate?
Is she worth it?

You may think so now, but you have far more life ahead of you.

If you haven't realized by now, she isn't good enough for you and never was.

You would give her the world if only you had the means, yet she wouldn't give you a second glance.

But yes, you have little past to state that you aren't hopeful. Maybe someday girls will like nice guys, and God willing you will love them too.

Now get off to bed, to school, to practice, to your home, to your dog, to whatever life takes you to. You need to live your life

Tonight you be it
Not me.
You'll be ****** by rage,
Drowned by sorrow,
And fed by vengeance.
You'll take the first plunge,
Pop the first pill,
Take the first shot.
And you'll feel the cuts,
The bruises,
The pain.
Not me.
Tonight you'll be the one
To cry..
Not me.

Tonight we went to the forest
Cold and dry
The cracked earth was sighing relief when we came walking
Cigars in hand
Alcohol in our blood
Shifting ground
Toppling over ecstasy
You called my name
And I fell from the earth.

Love slips
Wet kiss
Am I awake?
Or did I miss
The aching feeling
And laughter inside
That makes me glide
On soaring mountains
Towering high
You came out of no where
Suddenly you were me
Smart
Funny
Intelligent
Kind
Understanding
Where did you hide
For 18 years of my life?
Wet kiss
Hot bliss
One more taste of the night
And you will be missed.

Maybe one day you'll change
And I'll be able to see that change from the distance I now stand from you.
But right now all I can see is the same ripple of emotional manipulation and complete chaos you've always thrown upon your life
I once chose to stand and be a witness to your madness
Falling under the roar of thunder and never-ending rain
I stayed because my own love for caring for you fogged my vision

Maybe one day you'll change
And I'll be able to see that change from the distance I now stand from you.
As I walk farther away part of me hopes you will acknowledge your mistakes and take action to change your destiny
The other part in me prays the universe ends you in a fiery demise.

Maybe one day you'll change
And I will no longer remember
Pain
Sorrow
Anger
Hopelessness
Your name.

When she reads, the way her
Tongue peeks out slightly
As if trying to taste the words,
Makes a full-day poem worth
Every second of dropping ink.

I love it all, she'll say.    
Even if only the first few
Lines make the side of her
Mouth curve in comprehension

The way it does when she's
Warm from being
Agreed with by whom- or
Whatever's before her.

She'll love it all, as long as I have
Words and blood in me.
She'll love it all, as long as I have ink
And we have history.

There are little diamonds
Delighting her
In the bits of white between
Every word.

Every time I try to close my eyes you're there
And I can't for the life of me get you out of my head
Or the way your curls would fall into my eyes
And tickle my face and you would laugh
And shake your hair in my face some more
And your eyes would beam with love
And I never wanted anything more
But now here I am sitting on my computer
Writing a poem about you
And you have already forgotten my name
And I'm still in love with you
Please come back.

i thought.

you tasted like lust and you smelt like wintergreen and your hands were feathers and tickled my skin.


i know.

you tasted like skoal.
you smelt like smoke.
your hands felt like regret.

Is that the lowest moment?
When you don't dare to wear shorts because of the scars that cover your legs.
And then you're sitting there at the dinner table with your family,
And they keep on telling you to eat,
But all you mutter is "I'm not hungry",
When you actually are.
You're starving but your image is worth more than a meal.
You eat a few bites just to shut them up,
And then run to the bathroom to rid yourself of it,
To make sure you can fit into those jeans,
The ones that could stand you losing another 5 pounds.
You get used to the lies of:
"I'm not hungry"
"I ate before I came"
And "oh yeah I'm fine, just tired".
Is that your lowest point,
When the only food you're feeding yourself is lies?