Lost in the ruins of you.
My soul in tune,
With your tattered truth.

Oh, throw me down,
And show me now,
Just how you drown.

The wind
Hasn't spoken
To me in weeks,
And I miss her.

I've lasted, but
In some ways
I haven't found
What she left me with.

I love how the sky
Is stitched to my skin,
Breathing life to my bones...
𝘗𝘦𝘳𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘴 𝘐'𝘭𝘭 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦.

I sit with myself
A little too often.
Is it healthy
To stare this deep?

I find what
I'm looking for,
But then I always
Find more to look for...

And I wonder,
𝘐𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘪𝘵'𝘴 𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦?
A broken record
Reminding me.

𝘈𝘨𝘢𝘪𝘯, 𝘢𝘨𝘢𝘪𝘯...

These universal lessons -
They have no end.

I could try to find
The reasons why,
But I haven't much time.
So I don't ask why.

For I am much too far
From the night sky stars,

     To ever,

                truly,

                      know.


                           .♡.

                   ▪︎ mica light ▪︎

Clearly now I see,
That my soul had a plan.
Laid out perfectly for me,
To endure and withstand.

No I wouldn't do it over,
But Id never give it up.
I just keep moving forward,
Through the lessons I pick up.

I hear it in my soul,
When it's time to make a move.
A pull I can't control,
Brings me to another truth.

A lesson meets me there,
But at first I'm blind to see it.
Repeat repeat - til I'm aware,
And then she will reveal it.

Soul decoding old ways,
Uploading what is new.
These stories of your earthly days,
Are the building blocks of you.

The source collecting energy,
From all your transformation.
With every ancestor redeemed,
She is raising her vibration.

So tune into your highest self,
And don't you ever doubt,
That you come from a higher realm,
Made of stardust all throughout.

You bring this all within you,
So watch carefully for signs.
Youll know just what to do,
When the universe aligns.

▪︎ mica light ▪︎

She walks out
and bears her soul
to the unknown.

Step by step.
Trusting that the path
Will continue to form
Before her.

It's a feeling.
An instinct.
A drive.
A knowing.

It's malleable.
Create-able.
Magical.

It lives.
It relates.
It changes.
It grows.

And when I get lost,
I always know
This feeling will take me
Where I need to go.

So i listen carefully
For the calls in my soul.
And go the direction
That i feel pulled.

Mica Light

𝗧𝗪: 𝗦𝗲𝘅𝘂𝗮𝗹 𝗔𝗯𝘂𝘀𝗲

.
.
.
.
.
.
.

It wasn't until I heard
Someone say, "me too"
That I started to view
That this pain was from you.
And you. And you.
And yes, you too.
But especially... 𝘺𝘰𝘶.

I came fractured and bruised.
The deprecation of my self worth
Started before you.
I'd long since been used
As a punching bag for others'
Emotional wounds.

So, when I met you...
I was a perfect package
Of cracked porcelain
Just pretty enough
To salvage.

Your attention and approval
Became my food.
Like a flower needs the sun
I thought that without you
Shining on me
That I'd be all for none.

Your claws dug deep in my belly,
And mine into yours.
Validating eachother,
In a toxic swirl.
You in the center,
Creating a world,
Where "no" has no weight,
Coming from a young girl.

"You're so pretty" you said.

My skin was like rice paper.

"I love the curls on your head"

My throat was titanium.

"Come sleep in my bed."

My stomach turned sideways.

I had told myself enough times by now,
"This is what you signed up for,
So you'd better allow.
It comes with the territory."
I believed this somehow.

I attached so much of myself to you.
Addicted to the magic,
scattered in with the abuse.
The pleasure in the pain,
Covering up the dark truth.
So well, I couldn't tell
That we were actually living
In some kind of hell,
Being sold to us
As love and friendship,
But it was just a shell
For dead end *******.

Sometimes I find I look back
To these times reminiscing,
But then all I can think is,
"𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘶𝘤𝘬 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘸𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨?"

Cause now I sit here and wonder,
Why did I have no edge?
I had lost the understanding of what
A "no" feels like in bed.

It took me years to cut you off.
𝗧𝗲𝗻 to be exact.
All this time I've hidden
These dark secrets of the past.

Not even realizing
It was fear
Holding me back.
Not even realizing
That this ****
Fed how I act.

𝗜𝘁 𝘁𝗼𝗼𝗸 𝟮 𝘆𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘀 𝘂𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗹 𝗜 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗻𝗮𝗺𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱 "𝗮𝗯𝘂𝘀𝗲𝗿" 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝗮𝗺𝗲 𝘀𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲.

How brain washed is 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵?

Ever since I dug your
Claws out of my belly,
My wounds began to heal
And i started to see fully,
This relationship with you -
You were nothing but a bully.
𝗔 𝗯𝗿𝗼𝗸𝗲𝗻 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘁 𝗯𝘂𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗱 𝗶𝗻 𝗯𝗹𝗮𝗰𝗸 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗯𝗹𝘂𝗲.

I've liberated myself from you.
And all the guilt and shame.
Understanding now,
Why so long I played your game.
I've taken back my power, and
I've taken back my name.
I'm not a victim of abuse.
I'm a raging, healing flame.
Burning down what you became.

Ashes are easy to blow away.
I rid of you and I'm on my way.
No longer afraid,
Of the monsters in the night.
Because, guess what?

I know what a '𝘆𝗲𝘀' feels like.

Mica Light

When I am 𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗵,
I am grounded,
I am safe.
But like rock,
I can be cracked, or
Crumbled.
Struggling,  
Trying,
To collect my self back up.

But when I am 𝗮𝗶𝗿,
I cannot break -
I can only be felt.
My state,
Doesn't relate,
To the futile,
Attempts,
To hurt me.
But it can get tiring,
Without being able,
To land.

And sometimes,
I'm like 𝗳𝗶𝗿𝗲.
A flame,
Of passion,
Can burst,
Into a Raging blaze,
Of love,
Or hate,
Or somewhere,
In between.

And other times,
I am like 𝘄𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗿.
I am lifted.
I float atop.
I am given a break,
Or,
I am given a lesson.

𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩,
The waves...
Can turn into a monsoon, and

𝘌𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩,
The fire...
Could completely engulf me, and

𝘌𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩,
The winds..
May blow a bit too fierce, and
  
𝘌𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩,
The earth...
Can sometimes shatter beneath me,

𝗜 𝘀𝘂𝗿𝗿𝗲𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿.

For if I am to live this life,
There is nothing more,
And nothing less,
I could do.

▪︎ mica light ▪︎

Little drips of honey,
Trickle down your kiss.
Fingertips like
Water wells
That know my
Every wish.

Liquid lovely spilling,
Messing up my bed.
Whispering
Like fire burns
On every
Word that's said.

Tattered trails tasted,
You know my every turn.
Tracing lines
Like pathways
That you never
Had to learn.

Flowing, we are floating,
Suspended in the air.
Lifted up
Like stardust
Bodies weightless,
Minds aware.

Move me through the night,
Take me all the way.
Touching me
Like morning glory
Opens up
The day.

▪︎ mica light ▪︎