Because yesterday we were one of those frustratingly simple paintings,
(maybe a blue one with a dark streak in its center);
the Pragmatic find it laughable and "an insult to art,"
the Artsy tear it apart until it has a meaning, and
you and I, the Artists, want it to represent everything we are and will ever be.

Because tomorrow we'll be an umbrella in a trashcan,
(maybe a dotted one with the complexion of a dead, twisted spider);
the Realistic will attribute it to the strong wind and showers,
the Fledglings will nod at it like a tombstone in a cemetery, and
you and I, the Hurricane, will regard it as a mistake, a blunder, a bump on our mutual journey apart.

Well if I sound depressed enough,
maybe I'll scrape together enough followers
to be taken seriously
when I write with
the melancholic grit
of Sylvia Plath;

and maybe then this sadness draped over my shoulders
will flow gracefully when
I walk by all the things I did for you;

and maybe this statement piece isn't so impressionable;

and I don't have to wear something plain to go with it,
because I'm tired of being told I'm 'over-the-top'
like a teddy bear peaking out of a garbage can;

and maybe I'll post this the instant
fashionable sadness falls out of style -

and then your pity would be quashed
and then your pity would be quashed

I write in the trance of triangular years
whose reverse-osmosis has done but clear
the last memories I held dear

and somewhere along the line of
perpendicular feelings, Love
found its nesting in my heart like a dove
seeking the shelter it was deprived of

because maths and science concretize
my malady. Brittle beings, they vaporize
like mist exhaled for exercise.

These faces I try to exorcise
are the only ones I recognize

They say there are passions you cannot tame,
Which may beat you down until you see spots.
I don’t know why I have to say your name,
Every time I’m alone with my thoughts.
I say it in the elevator, I
Sing it in the streets, I yell it so loud
In my head it seems like this desp’rate cry
Is a trumpet sound on a holy cloud.
I say it like a passion I don’t want
To tame, like something big that has to burn
Brightly and scorch my skin, and taunt and haunt
Me, a prayer for your presence to return.
There is a sea I can’t ever sail smooth,
There is a fire that water can’t soothe.

, but depression seems the more obvious
topic to exhaust recently.
and i went running this morning to feel less fat
and stretched afterwards in a short-winded burst of resolution.
An hour later i collapsed into the arms of a friend
and exchanged ambiguous signals with him until night fell:
(he wants a friend, i want a kiss, you see).

I'm actually happy right now,
energetically kicking the can down the road.

you got a fast car
i want a ticket to anywhere
maybe we can make a deal
maybe together
we can get somewhere
anyplace is better
starting from zero
got nothing to lose
maybe we'll make somethin
me myself i got nothin to prove

i've been wondering
when it stops
people say it stops
when you want it to
but how do i tell that
to my dreams
when all i can think about
is running up to kiss you
in the parking lot of anywhere
it makes me wanna drink
and say everything
like sometimes i think about
what it would've been like
if i had let you go
when i
was still strong enough to do it
like i never knew hell
had such a pretty voice
like i tried to make it all day
without saying
"wish you were here"
like lately i've been going back
to all the places we've been
to see what it's like without you
it is the worst game
of hide & seek
every time i close my eyes
to count
you just go home
i seem to only wear my seat belt
on days you call
on days you're all *never been better
and i just wanna tell you
how much I hate window shopping
and daylight goodbyes
you just sit there
when you could say anything
you could tell me
you noticed i started drinking again
you could even make it up
you could say you miss me, too
you could say
you missed me so much
that the other day
you accidentally bought
two coffees instead of one
you could tell me
how you've been
without me
that you sleep so much better
these days
without having to worry
you can say what you have
to just don't say leaving
was like shooting fish in a barrel
cause i swear i'm nostalgic
for things i pretended were real
and i swear
i don't want a seance
until there's something
worth bringing back
take me back
to all the places i tried to love you
back to a time
where i knew my name  
without you having to say it

*you got a fast car
is it fast enough
so we can fly away
you gotta make a decision
leave tonight
or live & this way