i.
lovely cigarette
cradled in soft fingers,
inhaled by
smoky lips,
tempting me.

ii.
fingertips grazing
over velvet skin,
traveling with the grooves \
of my body,
electrocuting me.

iii.
darkness engulfs
heaving bodies. '
breath heavy,
hushed moans cut off
by hot kisses,
soothing me.

iv.
one last cigarette,
ending satisfaction.
crooked grins.
smoke swirling above,
embracing me.

i.

dark eyes illuminated by shadows,
creeping towards the bed,
trailing across the covers,
narrowing evilly.

ii.

rough, ***** hands
crawling across soft skin,
pawing at private places,
covering a horrified mouth.

iii.

mindlessly horrible pain
striking through a young body.
relentless fingers
soaking up innocent blood.


iv.

innocence lost,
trust shattered.
a broken girl never to be able
to love herself again.

We used to watch the clouds go by,
Searching for hidden pictures,
Wondering when it would be time for dinner.

Now, we watch the smoke swirl around our heads,
Searching for something to calm our nerves,
Wondering when we will find ourselves

Note to lover:
I would jump over stars and through galaxies for you.
Your essence is pure, your heart is gold.
You are worth more than the scars of your past.

Note to past:
You are all-consuming, yet powerless.
Your power lies inn my hands alone.

Note to loneliness:
Though you gnaw at my stomach,
Your sharp teeth piercing my heart,
I refuse to let you win.

Note to winnin:
You're not always worth it.

Note to worth:
You are not defined by the weight that your body possesses.
You are also not defined by lust.

Note to lust:
More people have died at your hands than the hands of love.
You're no better than wealth.
In fact, you warp people,
And we all know there are worse things than greed.

Note to greed:
I am guilty of this sin.
He is mine and mine alone.
I want to keep him all for myself.

Note to self:
Stop trying to squish everything into a box.
Black and white are only spectrums of color.

Note to color:
Brighten this world.
Show me more than black and white and red.
Show me rainbows and miracles.

Note to miracles:
Children believe because they are closest to you.
Too often are you overlooked
Simply because you overpopulate the planet.

Note to the planet:
I'm sorry.

Note to sorrow:
Stop crushing my lungs
And pouring out of my veins.

Note to veins:
Purple, blue, and green have never looked
So lovely, so tempting.
Blood rushes through you with every emotion,
Making you pulse whenever I am with my lover.

Note to lover:
Never open up the boxes in my head,
For all you will see is the past.
And colors.
And lost light that will blind your soul.

eyes like summer sky,
lips pink as cotton candy,
smile bright as midday sun:

three things first noticed
about three-month long lover;
she was summer.

the dreamed-about kind;
full of romance and wonder--
never a dull time.

hugs like teddy bears
won at pricey state fair games;
kisses like coasters.

magical young girl
with galaxies in her eyes
and stars in her heart.

time to remember
about three-month long lover --
summer in herself.

They looked at her
With disgust in their eyes.
"She's an artist" they said
But she could not disguise,
The pain she dealt with
Every night at home.

Her mother was working
And her father wasn't involved,
She kept slipping away to the voices,
Listening to their every sound.

And then he came.

He looked at every imperfection,
And saw the beauty in her.
He admired every piece if artwork,
By paint brush and blade.
She never failed to impress a crowd,
By people or demons.

But, not all stories have a happy ending.
For he left,
And so did she.

It came swiftly,
Like the absent whisper of the wind.
I think they call it love.

They always said,
That love was just a man-made emotion
To fill the empty years.

Then it struck me, like a 15 ton truck
He was there. He was beautiful.
And then,
He was mine.