I see a pair of eyes on me and just for a split second I stare into those deep brown eyes, they change into yours.
They're watching my every movement of my swaying body but it's not the attention I want from just anyone so I let them stare.
I close my eyelids and picture that you're the one leaned up against that bar, watching me and I can feel the tingling feeling going down my spine.
I'm dancing for you and you're not even here.
Every stride is fuelled with hoping that you're looking my way, the way you did that night on New Years.
The flashing lights change from red to blue and I'm not in a bar full of strangers but in the living room of where our eye kept meeting.
Then I open my eyes as the song ends and the adrenaline is leaving my body, I look quickly around the room even though I know you're not here.
I wish you were here.

V. Ethereal

Maybe being drunk
is the closest I will
ever get to zero gravity--
to walking on the moon.

My fingers curled
around the neck of a liquor bottle,  
I wander to my bedroom window,
as a tipsy weightlessness settles
amongst my limbs
(and my thoughts).

Swaying slightly,
I part the curtains and,
in my intoxicated stupor,
search for Polaris in the night sky,
point to it,
press a clumsy hand to the glass,
convince myself that
I have captured the star,
and all the omniscient power
it possesses,
beneath my finger tips.

Star light,

{lips pant--
inebriated,
heavy}

star bright,

{my breath appears a catalyst
as the window pane glazes over
in an impenetrable paroxysm of fog}

first star I see tonight,

{I take a swig,
raise the bottle--
a toast
to the cosmos}

I wish I may,

{Lashes meet in
silent matrimony}

I wish I might,

{Behind closed, desperate eyes,
ribbons of colour dance
towards me in a disoriented jig}

have this wish I wish tonight--

to be
obliterated by the very galaxy
that birthed
these grieving bones
and this tumultuous heart.

Because only then--
as the Gods paint the Night
with the innards of my soul,
acrylic purples
churning against the blackness--
will I become what I
have always dreamed
of becoming:

Lovely.

Ethereal.