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 Apr 2023 matt d mattson
We chased a feeling
not a reality

We both wanted someone
So desperately
that we found each other

Even though no part of

Our pieces didn’t fit together
so we pressed and jammed them
until they were stuck
and stayed that way
we broke

-red flags
 Apr 2023 matt d mattson
so gently
you pulled the
threads loose,
set me free

but the relief lasted
barely a moment -
you tied me to
you, chained me,
and even after
you decided
you didn't want me

you left me
with the shackles
and the bruises
and the empty bed
and the sheets
that still smell
like you.
 Apr 2023 matt d mattson
If you keep shooting a man in the leg,
he'll eventually beg for the heart.
I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way

than this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.
 May 2019 matt d mattson
I understand you
Is what I told myself over and over
But never truly could see
I love you
Is what I told myself over and over
But never truly could feel
Never knew what it felt like
I just assumed the mind games and the conjoined pain
Was something like it

If it hurts its passion
We've all played that game
But we know the ending
Yes, the ending
Stays the same
No matter how many times
I replay it in my brain
I realized it wasn't ok
 Apr 2019 matt d mattson
 Apr 2019 matt d mattson
Stop trying to shrink into places that you have already outgrown.
 Apr 2019 matt d mattson
Thank you for making me feel like your diamond
Though we both know this was a dazzling illusion
And for my trick?

I will disappear
 Jan 2019 matt d mattson
 Jan 2019 matt d mattson
I'm trying to be happy with the little corner of the universe I can control

I can not manipulate the night sky to call me back after 9

I can not ask to borrow the Moon's favorite dress

I can finish that book

I can wear those jeans


Have not taken


From me
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