I swear I felt you move
& as I lie awake,
here alone,
I realize it wasn't real.

It was just a figment,
a figment of my wild imagination
I try to put to sleep
each night
I think of you.

i wish for you to be all yours
before i can ever call you mine
but i'm afraid you've gotten so used
to belonging to someone else for so long
that you forget what belonging to yourself
even means.
you love me,
i can see it in your eyes,
i can hear it in your laugh,
i can feel it in your kiss.
but love foreshadows loss and i cannot pretend
that some days i feel more like a fool than a warrior
for going through with love, again
one more time, i can only hope
it is the last
for there is no one else i could ever wholeheartedly give myself to
in the way that i do you.

i wish for you to be all yours
before i can ever call you mine
but i am acutely aware that you lost yourself in someone else
for so long that you might never be able to get those
parts of yourself back, not to give to another lover,
but to keep for yourself, to be who you are,
who you aspire to be.
i want the best for you, even if that
doesn't include me.
yes, i am selfish
yes, i am sad
when you tell me your plans to sit down with her tomorrow
was i supposed to be glad?
she had you long before i did, and perhaps i'm afraid
that she will always have some sort of claim
on your heart.
i'm trying to be understanding of the fact
that this is part of you facing yourself,
necessary closure, somewhat of a fresh start.

i wish for you to be all yours
before i can ever call you mine
and sometimes anticipating being left
comforts me more than the concept
of passing time.

Why hold on?
If what little we had- is already gone?
I was told to make a list, of all of your rights and wrongs.
If you came out ahead,
We should work for what we have.
If you were still in the red,
Then our relationship was dead.
But you came out precisely even,
And I'm unsure of that meaning.
So I don't know,
Where our love is meant to go.
But I do know you want a fresh start,
And I don't know if it matters to you anymore that you leaving would break my fragile heart.
If you're just waiting for this to end please just tell me now,
And spare me the extra pain of holding on to someone who is already gone.
But just know I'd do anything to make us work,
I really don't care about your insecurities and all your little quirks.

Lymeria
Part III


The waves ashore knew not their greetings.
Their lure was Man,
Who steered my dreaming.
Is it so wrong,
To live at my best?
When I can't see the better,
To float like the rest.

I was once the twinkling
you wished for
in the Heavens above.

And now
I have fallen
back to Earth,
feel snuffed.

I guess you figured,
enough is enough
love.

Awkward moments,
smoothed out by camaraderie
Amateurs in an insane world
absent referee-
Just friendship.

Childhood chaos,
nothing kept secret
When difficulties were simple,
chuckled through it-
Just friendship.

Growth spurts,
we only became more weird
Fair share of heartbreaks,
even we veered-
Just friendship.

Philosophical convos,
at each others necks
I would write while you paint,
now we're signing checks-
Just friendship.

Wildness tamed,
now hold priorities first
Grew up way too fast,
memories dispersed-
Just friendship

High hopes,
in your new life I wish the best
better keep in touch,
preserve your zest-
It's simply true friendship.

Lymeria
Part V


Towards the sea,
I've done my best,
To build a boat,
And drift in darkness.
I do not know what lies beyond,
Until ashore,
I'll come across.