As I stare you down
Laying in my arms
My own lungs could drown
For I cannot breathe

How your chest goes down
And comes right back up
A sweet gold crown
Of our memories

Looking here at you
Takes me to a place
Where I dream of two
I smile at your face

I know when you wake
You will leave me here
Drifting to the lake
You were meant to go

When you leave me here
It hurts me, angel
Know you'll disappear
When you do come back

Dearest angel mine
As you rest so deep
Take up wings and fly
Beautiful in sleep

Oh, what shall I do
When you leave me here
This place meant for two
Will have only one

I thought you loved me
You said forever
So , dear, I'm begging
                    "Don't leave me here


...lonely"

And just like a mason jar
Or a broken car
You threw aside my heart
Like some messed up art

And just like the ocean
Or a dead man's house
My heart is now empty
All the people poured out

You took all my love
And you threw it away
And all I can think is
I wish you had stayed

It's not much your fault
What happened to me.
You're just a child
My heart is the sea.

And I suppose after all
My foster child
You just did as you were told
You just moved on

I love
My God
Because when I am upset
And depressed
And angry
Sinful
Sad
And a swirling
Swirling tornado
Of emotions

And I say to Him,
"God, save me, I'm drowning"
He saves me.

And when life is so dim that I can't
See
A foot in front of me
And I am falling fast
Through the dark
I can feel
Feel His arms
Bearing me up
Wrapping me up
In the most comforting
Life-giving
Hug imaginable.

I've been
Broken
Sad
Angry
Depressed
I keep thinking
That things can't possibly
Get worse
             And then they do.

Maybe
If I think
That things can't get any better,
Then they will.
I'm still broken
But I have my good days.
God is taking care of me.
All I know is I'm getting better.
Slowly
But surely
I'm healing.

What they don't understand
About what happened
Is that

Every breath
Since he left
Is laborious.

Every day
That I live
Is victorious

Every guy
That I see
Is notorious

Because
Because he
Was inglorious.

What they don't understand
About him leaving
Is that

Every day
That goes by
Is upsetting

Every tear
That I cry
Is regretting

Every good
I would see
Is vanishing

Everything
I would trust
I'm not trusting.

Every good
Memory
I'm forgetting

Every pain
He caused me
Is confronting me

Face
To
Face

People say I worry too much.
Don't trust enough.

But if I stop
If I use blind trust

I'm scared that I might
Become
That girl.

The one who only cares for herself.
The one who hates
Hates everyone else.
.
.
.
And then where would I be?