I stared at a picture we took when we were happy.

But for some reason, I feel nothing but pain.

Make it stop, I tell myself.


Please, Please, Please, make it stop.

I always dreamed the day where I would bump into on the street.
I like to picture myself happy, with a smile on my face, staring into your eyes playing back every memory that we had.
You would look the same, older of course. You had the same old white t-shirt you wore when you were a teen.
You would tell me about your family, I would tell you of mine.
We could laugh here and there, talking about the moments that got us to this exact moment.

I always dreamed of the moment where you would tell me you were sorry, for making my heart break, my eyes tear, my body ache. I would smile.
I would thank you for the life I have now.
You would tell me you had to go, and I would tell you my hopes of happiness that would go your way.

I always dreamed of the moment where he would say goodbye again and my heart would do nothing but ache for him. Many people won't understand this part, but I dream of this day because I want nothing but my heart back. He has every single piece of my heart. Every single piece of my **** heart. I hate him for it, I really do. I dream of the day that I can get reunited with my **** heart. And the second that, that guy takes a step away from me I lose it all over again. I lose him all over again but I would do anything to be with him again.

Even though he was gone, I still felt him there.
Haunting me.

He was there in my greatest moments, in my thoughts and in my prayers.
He was there in my worst moments, in my head but never actually there.

I closed my eyes, counted to ten, and tried to get you off of my mind, but it's been too long of a time.

I can't think of my life without you which is strange because that life is what I'm living now.

I swear sometimes that I hear your name. I can't get you out of my head. I can't get the feeling out of my heart.

I didn't want to be cliché about it,
but he was the sun after the rain.
He was the light after the outage.
The courage in fear,
and the dessert after the meal.

He was the sigh of relief after a long day,
he was the wind in my sails on the vast ocean of my open heart.

I didn't want to be cliché about it, but there was no other way to describe the way I felt in my heart. Anything was possible. There was no reason to listen to sad music anymore, because for once in my life I was happy.

The poems I wrote weren't just strings of word simply pressed against a dead tree someone processed so we can write on, but heavy weighted letters that put together the reasons why you could look at a person and feel more at home than the place you grew up in.

He sat there asking me how much I loved him,
I pictured the rest of my life,
and how nice it would be with him holding my hand for the rest of forever.
I didn't want to be cliche about it,
"As much as the night brings out the stars, after the hours of them being covered up."

They tell you to find something to love in every person you meet,
but I took the wrong advice.
I found someone to love everything about.

They tell you, "happiness comes from within"
but I found sanity in all the wrong places,
if your arms were a house I'd be home.

They tell you not to cry when its over,
but to smile at the time you've spent,
so how do I do that when I don't remember how many days it takes to revolve around the sun, because all of my days once revolved around you.

I can't fall in love with strangers, because someone I don't know took my heart.

I am a different person now too, and all I can think about is if we will meet again.