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  Apr 2015 marcela
Pax
Lucky are those who have found love
and been loved.

Lucky are those who bear the gift of face.
   Easy is for them to find an easy case
            for their own taste
     - a goal for their own base.

Lucky are those who has an outstanding confidence.
For by it, they don’t live with a doubtful fence.
Freely as they get any wants in their existence.

I give away smiles, pieces of my lies,
        pretending not having rainy skies.
Hiding my Breathless sighs.

Sometimes I am like a rock
   too dull to feel, a surface too rough.
A sense I lost, an unreachable core,
I don’t know how to love anymore.



*© 2014 Pax
to simply say: "I am just unlucky in terms of love"


First of all I want to give my special thanks to all my friends who supports me not in my writing but the me who is inside in every piece I penned. To all of you, it let me believed that I should not give up on love, with that it is enough for me to stay positive… hopeful for someday someone will come and bring spring to my 'cold landscape', bring light to my 'unglowing star' and a home that I could finally call my own to stop being the 'passerby'...

....
  Apr 2015 marcela
Pax

I bathe in milk
The Ripples along the water are as fine as silk
NO! This is not something I fancy
In life, sometimes you just want to try
In the end we just have to stop the stupid lie.
To live or die
To breathe or just drown
Seems everybody wears a crown
NO! I lost mine a long time ago.
Perhaps temporary is all I could have, so I dare go…
Grab what’s on hand
Never expecting high demand
Then I get lost, soaked
And a little broke
To start a new beginning
Is still out of reach, I’m screeching…
Not in pain but in the cloud that blocks the way
Wishing the fear will stay at bay
Never reaching my awful screeching
Oh CHOICES! I wish I ACTED ON YOU differently
NOT fearing disappointing those who support me.
But hey! What is done cannot be undone
I stand in what I’ve chosen, I never run…
I tried my best to stop my mouth
From reasoning-in or reasoning-out
For your choice is your own responsibility
So I stop blaming others for my problematic probability
I bathe again, in warm water this time
Hoping to wash away the disease that struck me
Faults of my own neglect
Laziness and Tiresome – and its ripple effects
Now I fear I’ll drown…

........... a type of monologues i guess....
partly inspired by this photo:
http://manuelestheim.deviantart.com/art/On-drowning-393658861

a friend of mine hit something when she said:

Sometimes we are all afraid of drowning in the choices we have made. But there's nothing to do but go on. The water of time washes many things away.
marcela Aug 2014
Another ******* poem about you.
You were the one who brought my walls down after years of being up.
You were the first lips I've ever tasted.
You were my first real love.
You taught me what love was like.
But one day,out of the blue
.
.
.
You brought my walls up.(ill never open up again)
You were the last lips I'd ever taste.
You are the last person I ever loved with such passion.
You....You big ******* liar,you destroyed me.-m.f.g.
  Aug 2014 marcela
James Sebastian
I had a dream one day
that all the angels were
dressed in black as
they spoke my name
i thought they lamented
for me but
i realise now they were
mourning our love.
  Jul 2014 marcela
Maris Jayne Weathers
If love is in the air,
I must not be breathing,
If love is in the eye of the beholder,
No one is looking at me,
If all is fair in love and war,
I have no battle to lose,
If there's a brighter tomorrow with everyday,
I am stuck in the past,
If the spark is gone,
I've never been there,
If it's love,
I'm not in it.
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