Thank you for leaving me.

For every tear that fell,
I came to realize
how important my feelings are.
I realized I have
to love myself first
before I give my love to others.
My lips will touch
my scars and my flaws
long before my mouth touches yours.

Your world is full of
many intersecting roads;
I got lost and forgot my way home.
So thank you for leaving me.
I'm home.

Maybe that was
why I was
so afraid
to lose you.
You were
the only calm in
the chaotic
rumblings and mumblings
in my head.
You offered
warmth in the middle of
a torrential downpour.
In my life filled of
confusion and indecision,
things made sense.
You made sense.
We made sense.

Until we didn't.

Why can't you
be as
hopelessly in love
with me
as I am
with you?

Will you ever be,
or am I
a rock waiting
for the sun
to make
me a star?

When did
our conversations
turn into
something we're both
forced to have?

When did
knowing about you--
your smile,
your life,
your soul--
become a chore?

It's kind of
strange
how a simple 'hi'
from you
brightens
my entire day.
It's kind of
scary
how a single word,
a single syllable
holds that
much power
over me.
And just as your 'hi'
means the
entire *******  world
to me,
your 'bye'
annihilates
everything alive
inside of me.