I’m drinking a 40 on a ***** mattress wanting to carve his name into my leg. Drunk and wobbling in my 6 inch heels with daddy in mcdonalds. Giving him hickies with cheap ***** on my breath. He says I make him feel young again. I no longer put my menthol cigarettes out on my own heart. I wear blossom pink lipstick now and started brushing my hair. His mouth against mine feels like I tongued an electrical socket dipped in honey. His teeth are rotting out of his pretty skull but he tears through my star white skin like a rabid dog. Holding each other’s hands at random gas stations while he buys me alcohol to get rid of my bad thoughts that swell my brain. He takes care of me and pets my angel hair. Calling me his princess. Promising me slushies and gold teeth. He let me choke him in the parking lot along side the highway. I asked him if I could be his baby in the back of his trunk. He kissed my neck like a solar eclipse.

There is no I in denial.
They kiss in bed.
They roll around.

There is no I in denial.
He bought her flowers.
She placed them in a vase.

There is no I in denial.
They hug outside of
traditional thought.

I do not know how we got here,
but I know I don't want us
to stay.

There is no I in denial.
They **** in bathrooms.
They make love in gardens.

There is no I in denial.
She blew a kiss.
He caught a tough break.

There is no I in denial.
He holds a box of his things,
after being shown out.
She says they'll manage.

I do not know how we got here,
but I know I don't want us
to stay.

There is no I in denial.
They kiss in bed,
but it's not the same.
They roll around in bed,
but it begins
to feel
like effort.

There is no I in denial.
He bought her less.
She said it didn't matter.

There is no I in denial.
He feels like his father,
imagining things
she's doing.

I do not know how we got here,
but I know I don't want us
to stay.

There Is No I In Denial.
They don't talk as much.
They sit farther apart.

There Is No I In Denial.
She asks him what's wrong.
He resents her care.

There Is No I In Denial.
He gets drunk and
breaks the vase.
The flowers lay,
covered in wet glass,
sleeping in a puddle.

I do not know how we got here,
but I know I don't want us
to stay.

THERE IS NO I IN DENIAL.
They don't talk, they yell.
They don't remember each other.

THERE IS NO I IN DENIAL.
He drinks more.
She feels less.

THERE IS NO I IN DENIAL.
They were married underneath
an oak tree,
  She said, "I do."
He smiled and said,
  "I'm so lucky."

The flowers lay on the floor,
  dying.

I do not know how we got here,
but I know I don't want us
*to stay.

Through the window she entered late in to the night
Her infiltration silent, eerie, and driven
Little did I know of my perilous plight
For her eyes were aglow, her spirit was striven

As my head hit the pillow she exclaimed "No, don't nap!"
Stay up with me pal! Tap Tap Tap Tap Tap.
To which I replied "shhh we sleep now"
Then she paused for a moment and furrowed her brow.

She pouted "But why?" and tapped me again
My retort was "fine you cutie, you win, you win"
I'll stay up with you now, no sleep/10

Take me to church, or more precisely, to the parking lot
Where god smiled upon us as I got you off
I felt his holy high five as you came and collapsed
A choir of angels looked down then and clapped
What started as a day volunteering for robotics
Ended up with me inside you, the feeling ******
I felt good, I felt great, as you slid up and down me
Hard as a rock, let’s do it again real soon, GG

“Say it’s not true, say it’s not so!” he shrieked and protested with dejected tone

‘How could I lose, how could this be?” meanwhile I snickered with audible glee

I went on with malice, contempt in my voice “It’s always a pleasure, but with just one poor choice

You’ve managed to lose, heart heavy in chest. Did you really expect to           best. . .

Me? A laughable prospect, that you could beat me? Don’t make me laugh. gg no re”

To what do I owe the pleasure of your company?
I’d go as far to endeavor within a soliloquy
The magnitude of your presence
And what it means to me
Simply put, at its essence
A fun summer fling with my pal, let’s get naughty

I didn't want to hurt myself
but the stinging felt better
on my thighs
than it did in my heart
and the burn
of the ***** in my throat
will always taste better than
swallowing down the words
I want to say to you
I'm hungry and hollow
and I just want someone to call my own
I just want someone to hold
and I want us to love each other
you were like a hurricane
you came to me when I was still
young and beautiful and new
but you destroyed everything in me
the storm calmed eventually but it didn't stop raining in my mind so I ran blades along my skin trying to find some part of myself that might still be there but I only bled colors of you so I sent out search parties all over my body
but they where never to be found
cause I guess you took them with you
so much of me lost in you

The first time I felt my heart flop on a filthy floor was when I hit 6 months without seeing your face
but still heard your voice overtime I turned a corner
and it was the tone that gave me new feelings, not the tone that scared me

there's more days to come without you, and I could try but I probably won't succeed
you make me weak at the knees

You used to hate your hands but let me hold them because my eyes were brown like mud, and you like your girls *****

I laid in bed paralyzed the night you left
I thought the tides pouring out of me would be powerful enough to bring you back

but all they brought me was gagging and a $12 dollar flask
***** burns too bad

I swear you gotta cute voice
I wish I had it recorded
one day my head will stop making it's own noises