I wanted to paint,
A trail of red,
Down your chest
leaving nothing but,
The stain of my lips,
To lay in contrast,
To your fair skin.
You brought forth,
A pallette in my eyes,
Birthed within a new,
Sight of purples,
Left behind,
By the lost ramblings,
I drown in after ***.

It was not the idea,
Of jumping off a bridge,
That kept me from,
It.
It was not the idea,
Of feeling my body fall,
At 75 mph that scared,
Me.
It was not the idea,
Of my own inevitable ending,
That stopped me from,
Death.
It was your face,
And my mother's,
And the tears,
And the blaming,
And the last thing I wanted,
Was to hit the water,
And know that you'd jump in,
An hour after,
They found my body.

It's been hard,
To write since you left.
My words,
They hardly paint,
Anything of,
Substance.
You were my muse,
It seems,
The Clyde to,
My Bonnie,
At least it seems like it,
Anyway.
It's not so perfect,
This situation,
Or you and I.
But *******,
I wish,
You hadn't taken my words,
So far away.

And every time I see you now
It's a brand new chance
To fall in love
For the very first time
All over again.

Three days in,
And I must admit,
It's getting better,
Like they said it would.
However,
I have been using everything,
I have,
To keep that feeling of you,
Close to me.
Your clothes,
They still reek of you,
And the laundry soap your mother uses.
I keep the stuffed giraffe we won,
At the county fair,
On my night stand to remind me,
That you're coming home.
And I haven't yet washed my face,
I really know I ought to,
But your kiss is still on my cheek,
And I don't want to lose it.
All of our friends,
They've kept me company,
So I don't panic,
When your name doesn't pop up on my phone.
I check that **** thing so often,
You'd think I would stop,
But ******* it,
I'm hoping I'll wake up,
And none of this had happened.

I couldn't breathe,
As I laid in a ball,
On my twin size bed,
Curled up on the side,
You used to lay on.
"Babygirl, don't cry."
You said all the time.
But saying that,
Would be the same,
As if I asked you not to go.
Both of which inevitable.

I, being just a simple man
Lost myself for
Oh, probably way too long.
Very near the edge of reality
Each day dragged on
Yet, when I saw her
Often, I may add,
Underneath, everything left
Bringing me something new
A feeling that I still carry
Because I see her almost
Everyday and I could
Swear. I love her.