Oh what a tangled web I weave
when bread crumbing is how I feed
her appetite for me.
It's quite the powerful role.
Sometimes I push, sometimes I pull.
Toying with her affection and attention
it's just a game you see.
It doesn't take much effort for me
to toss a crumb her way playing with
her triggers and traumas carelessly.
I manipulate her sweet heart
and harness her energy
but then I leave her hanging
by a thread swaying delicately.
I like to play with a few hearts at a time.
That way my options for ego strokes
dance around in my mind.
I don’t know I'm avoiding my own inner pain.
I wear
different masks to keep myself untamed.  

Oh, what a tangled web you've weaved.
You took my kindness for granted
and ignored my heart on my sleeve.
You thought you could play with me for your own gain.
But instead you will stew in your own self-inflicted pain.
I don't take kindly to feeling played.
You see this kinda thing fuels feminine rage.
It was never that I was too much.
It's that you're too limited in
energy, emotional regulation and such.
You thought I was a basic one
who you could easily get under your thumb.
But you were arrogantly wrong Young Gun.
Kneel before this High Priestess.
And know your place.
For you must now live the karmic lessons
that you shaped and continue to create.
That rut you say you're in and can't escape
just got deeper and messier in your space.
Maybe one day you'll face your fears buried deep in your soul
And you'll kick yourself for letting me go.
But I bid you farewell as I know my worth.
I am not a coward who runs from truth in fear.
I conquer it all with one silent tear
as it rolls down my cheek
I feel my affections for you disappear.
I straighten my crown and take a seat on my throne.
I now know for certain I will walk this path alone.

What's the matter Dear one?
Your shoulders are slumped
and head bent low.
Your smile is gone
and your brow burrowed.
Don't tell me you've allowed
someone to steal your light
without you putting up a **** good fight.
Now take a deep breath and inhale the Divine.
Straighten your back and hold your chin high.
You didn't come here to Earth to glide
on by
the triggers and truth bombs
or to stop asking "Why?"
You came here to show others
a laser sharp gleam in your eye
how to pick up the pieces
when you get flipped on your side.
You're here to inspire, create and make love to life.
So listen here beautiful spirit.
You can't be the leader you were born to be
if your head tilts down
showing challenge you fear it.
Eyes straight ahead as you gaze
towards your dreams.
Leave them behind proving its not as hard as it seems.
Put one foot in front of the other
as you glide into place.
The path is revealed with
light and laughter on your face.
Taking others with you as you forge
an unexplored space.
Your light is not just yours.
It's meant to shine for others to chase.

She opened her heart with
too much force.
She gripped it with fingers from both hands
ripping it apart
revealing
too many fragments of her soul.
They spilled out with
too much momentum and ended up
sprawled out
on the floor.
Will he notice the precious fractals of
her sweet spirit
crushed and broken on the ground?
Will he step over them?
On them?
Or sweep them under the rug?
Does he see the masterpiece that just
destroyed herself from being
too daring
too close to the edge?
She has
too little patience
to leave it up to him
what to do with the wreckage displayed.
She carefully picks up each piece
mindful of the sharp edges and new angels.
She borrows sap from her favorite Pine.
Blends it with gold dust powder
borrowed from ancestral strength
stored in her spine.
Applying this sturdy paste
she meticulously reconstructs
the segments of her discarded gift
into an alchemized transformation.
A Kinstsugi treasure with a new reservoir
inviting the love she has for herself
which can never be
too much.

And just like that I'm
love struck and empty.
He ran off with my heart
and pieces of me.
Fantasies of an "us"
mixed with cosmic energy.
Like adventures of Poseidon and Aphrodite
Majestic and powerful together taming
the wild sea.
Oh Sweetie, don't be silly.
Get a grip please.
Today he ran off with my heart
and pieces of me.
Here I am love struck
and empty.

Slice me open and cut him out.
Use the sharpest scalpel and most precise
technique to dislodge what I've found.
Pump me full of oxygen
opening a valve for my revitalization.
My lips are blue from holding my breath
waiting for his kiss.
May the surgeon be a master with his hands
to ensure every last bit of him is removed.
Not a spec missed.
Check my vitals so I don't asphyxiate on my own
chunks of delusion.
Stitch me up good and tight so that
his essence has no way to infect me.
Pray for a speedy recovery as I mend and heal.
Off to rehab for me as I rediscover who I was meant to be.
No pills or therapy please.
Perhaps one day the healed me will
crash into him and I'll still
be in one piece.