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wasnt any reason for me to lie.
the scars and bruises where they lie
why on earth do you doubt
why do you push and shove and shout

selfishly sick is what i be
the trauma fake? oh honestly!
i let it happen
i hurt myself
i do it all
and don't ask for help

i am failing critically
i am sick, selfishly.

i let you laugh
i let you lie
i kiss my "normal" life goodbye.
i let my thoughts
dissipate
let the next person take my place

if i lied for over a year
wouldnt that make the truth everclear?
foggy memories swirling endlessly

we are sick, selfishly

-yjp
a poem about our mother not being able to accept our disorder.
(dx)
 7h Lyle
Bree17
don't hold yourself that way
to keep this pain at bay
for as they always say
"its okay to not be okay"
just remember to hide it away
and make pretend, you'll play
then paint away the gray
hide in a hidden ashtray
just to make it through today
so remember, its okay to not be okay
that's what they always say
so long as it's not actually that way
people always say "its okay to not be okay"
but then people are genuinely not okay and suddenly there's just no support
like what?
 9h Lyle
ZACK GRAM
A poem is not a poem without a writer
Sight is not seeing without vision
Life is not a life without a soul
Heart is not love without faith

No matter your situation
Its not about the worth
But the bone behind it

So remember without sacrifice and struggle

Dreams may never come to fruition
Make smart choices
Consider the outcome
Simply be yourself
Build a positive position

Never look back
Today is here for a new tomorrow
Poetry
Dude, do you realize that you used the word dude
like three times in the same sentence, dude.

who does that?
 11h Lyle
kohu
bleed
 11h Lyle
kohu
i miss bleeding
i miss the thin red lines
i miss the sting under water
i miss the comfort the blade brought
i miss the hurt
i miss the blood
i miss…
feeling justified

the pain i went through and the pain im in now means nothing
because i dont have any more red lines
just white ones
even when they were red
they werent deep enough
werent good enough
so im not worth it
i dont need that much help
im lazy
i need to try harder
other people have it worse
other peoples lines are worse
*******

you make me miss the blood
everything that hurts makes me
miss the thin red lines
fifty at once
soothing cat scratches
little drops of blood
to feel better

but

i dont need help
i dont deserve help
is that what you all think?
that i dont try?
i try so hard
but its still not good enough
the days i need help
im not good enough
i need to be independent
im not allowed to ask for help
i hate you
i hate everyone
i hate everything

all i want is my red lines back
they may have not been good enough for you
but they were for me
so *******
no one cares

ill get my blade
ill cut once
and feel the sting
its not so bad
so ill do it again
and again
and again
and thirty more times
and ill feel that good sting
see the pretty blood

and ill feel better
ill be better
ill be worth the help
just a vent
 11h Lyle
Cassian
Sometimes I forget how to smile,
And my nightmares have nightmares for miles.
But there's no monster hiding under my bed,
Or shadows creeping with whispers of dread.
It’s just me… just me… I’m all alone,
In a world where no one’s ever shown.
No one’s ever close enough to care,
No one to love me, no one to share.

I lose myself in the quiet and deep,
Where the shadows of my thoughts silently creep.
There’s no hand to hold, no voice to call,
Just me in this empty, endless hall.
I’m stuck in a place where no one will stay,
No friends, no love, no warmth in the gray.
And I can’t escape, I can’t break free,
No one will ever be here for me.

The days drag on, and the nights are long,
I search for something, but all feels wrong.
I close my eyes, but I can’t find rest,
Just echoes of pain I can’t suppress.
There’s no one to save me from this hell,
No one to notice when I start to fall.
I’m just a shadow, fading in time,
A lonely soul, trapped in rhyme.

I watch the world move, but I’m standing still,
My heart’s aching, my soul’s been killed.
There’s no warmth, no comfort to seek,
Just silence that drowns every word I speak.
No family to call, no friend to trust,
Just the hollow of love that turns to dust.
I linger in shadows, forgotten, unseen,
A fading dream in a world too mean.

I try to reach out, but my hands fall short,
There’s no one to answer, no one to support.
I whisper my secrets into the void,
But the silence answers, it’s all destroyed.
No one’s close enough to feel my pain,
No one to help me break these chains.
And still, I love you from afar,
A love you’ll never see, just a distant star.

I carry this weight that no one can see,
A burden so heavy, it’s crushing me.
There’s no safety, no shelter from the cold,
Just empty arms that I can’t hold.
I wish for someone to care for me,
But I’m invisible, lost at sea.
I try to reach, but I can’t break through,
Still, I like you, though you’ll never feel it too.

I sit in the silence, drowning in tears,
A face full of sorrow, haunted by fears.
There’s no love to catch me when I fall,
No one to answer when I make the call.
It’s just me, just me, lost in the deep,
A soul too tired to even weep.
But I keep hoping, though I know it’s a lie,
That you might see me, even if I die.

And here I am, broken and cold,
Living a story that’s never been told.
No family, no friends, no love to know,
Just the darkness that follows wherever I go.
But I keep liking you, though it’s all in vain,
A dream of affection, an endless pain.
For even though I’m alone, I still choose to be,
Loving you quietly, knowing you’ll never love me.

- Andrew
 12h Lyle
Malia
I think it is a good day
I feel okay, and that’s all
I feel, no sense of greatness
Nor self-hatred, no free-fall.

I look into the mirror
No fear, just looking as I
Realize that I have acne
But it’s me and I feel fine.

Right now, I am just okay
But one day, I will appear
From silk and I will be her
From those words, so far but near.
tried an awdl gywydd today.
 12h Lyle
Seth H
life would go on
if you had never heard
your favorite song

but you heard it
and love it

next time you are thinking about fading away
yes, life would go on
but you might just miss
being someone's favorite song
i’m real..
you won’t see me
happy and jolly
all the time..
but you won’t hear me
complain about
not being fine..
i have my share of days
i don’t feel like
getting out of bed..
putting on a fake smile
nor care about
my appearance or have
an appetite..
i’ll want to do nothing
but let my heart cry..
i know it won’t
solve anything
but it helps me heal
everything i am feeling
on the inside..
and sometimes the pain
is too unbearable
i cannot help but
wish to die..
i try to find
the strength to
bring myself back
from the ledge
i know all too well..
for i’ve stood on it
too close to the end
more times than
i could count..
yet somehow
always find my way back
following the light
that brings me back to life..
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