being perceived is so uncomfortable
and yet, something I want at the same time
to be seen and heard is an instinctual need humans have
but I also hate that people have opinions of me
ideas made up about my character based on one interaction they had with me probably on a day where I wasn’t in the mood to even be alive and they crossed paths with me…
I don’t want to be looked at, please don’t stare,
but I also want you to notice my existence, acknowledge I’m alive
I don’t want to be pretty or for anyone to feel bad about themselves because they looked at me
I don’t need you to say hi to me or make small talk, in fact, I ******* hate it
but I also want you to know I’m a good person and I like to make people laugh so let me tell you a joke on my behalf
I’m so uncomfortable when someone sees a photo of me,
Are they thinking how ******* stupid I look too? How thin my upper lip is? Do they think I’m trying too hard?
I’m so embarrassed but I also want you to like it.
Existing is embarrassing and so is the fact that you know I need to breathe to be alive and I have to eat to survive

to the women who linger in the restroom stalls,
What are you doing?
Go hang out somewhere else so I can **** in peace,
there can’t be anything on that phone of such importance that you are willing to sit next to me in a stall and listen to my body obliterate this toilet..
A person can only hold it in for so long..
the rest room is supposed to be the one place to let it out,
to have some privacy to expel the days waste without feeling like I’m interrupting your third break today so you can doom scroll Facebook while I writhe in pain on the throne next to you,
as someone who is one of many who suffer in this country with bowel issues, I am just suggesting that if you hear someone’s intestines screaming across the room, it’s time to flush the toilet and let some blood return to your legs so that human can feel better.
Thank you.. sincerely,
the feet under the stall

people **** me off
I think I’m from another planet
I hope I am right and one day my family will come to collect me and all of my knowledge from my time here on earth with the humans will be for something  
people are obsessive and controlling for things like your attention or time
no sense of personal space or brain sense to leave someone alone
I hope when I’m abducted, my memories of this planet get washed out of my mind
I’ve never felt like I belonged here
people are so selfish and careless with your feelings or your body

when my chest gets tights and I start to feel like I can’t breathe,
grabbing onto you steadies me,
just the heat from your skin and the energy of you is enough to heal me,
I feel like a little kid gripping my favorite stuffed animal,
a soft blanket of your warmth wrapped around me as your words of patience and kindness surround my anxiety
you’re too good for me