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 Mar 2017 Luisa bernabó
lei
i don't need you
to tell me
you love me, too.

i just need you
to know
that someone,
in this case, i,
love you so much more
than you ever
could believe was possible.

in the situation i am in,
i know people will tell me
that this is wrong and stupid.

but i don't believe them.

they don't know of the stories
i've written for you.
they don't know of the love
i continue to speak out for you.

and i will continue to speak,
and scream,
and whisper.
because you will never know,
maybe one day,
you'll actually hear me.
This evening,
slow drizzling,
peace accompanying
eyes drooping
And I start dreaming

This land , I go
The place no one knows

There are unicorns , there are fairies
There are roses , there are lilies
There is rainbow ,There is waterfall
But there is no worry at all

This is my hiding place ,
A place ,where my joy stays
A place ,where stress goes away
A place ,where I hideaway from trouble
A place , where I stay inside the bubble
A place that protects me from reality
From the start of this
To the very end
Swimming in ignorance
We'll do it all again

Sands from the hour glass
Keep on seeping
As we watch history
Repeating...

Under the baking sun
Nothing has ever changed
What's being done's been done
The path remains the same

As the bell loudly tolls
Time is fleeting
Watching history
Repeating...

Have there been lessons learned
I'm thinking not this turn
Getting what's deserved
In everything we earn

We still remain the same
In our hearts beating
As we watch history
Repeating...
 Mar 2017 Luisa bernabó
LeV3e
Loss
 Mar 2017 Luisa bernabó
LeV3e
I opened my soul to you
Shared with you my dreams.
Now there's no escaping the loss
Not even in my sleep.
"Monsters are real, and ghosts are real too"*

Maybe I panic because I need to
for all of those who don't panic but should.
Maybe that's why I'm haunted by spirits I don't know.

Mummy, told me not to talk to strangers,
but these figures talk to me, do they not know?
In panic of the third hour
I don't see them but I know they see me
I feel their eyes move off my body

There are no humans in this world,
only animals, hungry for their instincts.
I am cautious of every detail
I know but no one else does
Can they feel my eyes?

Or feel my heart,
maybe even my sweat
and my dry tongue
because I pant
I am you. Animal.

*"They live inside us, and sometimes, they win." -Stephen King
Last night I watched my own heart break
I watched as it slipped out of your hands
Fell to the concrete sidewalk right in front of me
Shattered, pieces scattering
Trying to hunt them all down as you walk away
Pretending nothing ever happened
I stoop down to carefully retrieve the tiny shards
Ouch.....I think one got me
Throw it in the box and keep going
My blood smudging a few pieces
Sighing as I double check for missed shrapnel
Doesn't look like there's any left
Head out on my not so merry way
I've been prepared for this
Pull out the super glue
Trying to figure out which piece is which
Where does this one go?
Ouch.....another one got me
Deeper this time
Pretend it never happened and keep working
Piecing together what's left of my heart
Finally placing the last piece
It looks nothing like my heart
Unless you stare for a few minutes
Then the recognition hits
This is it now
There's no going back to change it
I have to be extra careful
Might put it on a shelf
Display it as an example not to trust anyone
Let’s not forget our childhoods
Like playing in the rain, getting drench, and loving it
The scene I remembered most, was i watching Peggy the small dog,
in the window across the street.
While, the neighbors keep up their lawns, and areas neatly pruned
With the dull chopping sound of the cutlasses, early in the morning:

I generally held a book close to my face, while reading
But somehow, on that day, I kept  staring at the house across the street
I don’t remember if I had done my chores or not,
before the lady in this photo came home that day for lunch.
For her, it was all about keeping up appearances,
Dinner at six, all school shoes must be polished before seven
and our Immaculate uniforms, must be hanging on the ironing board.

And no matter what,
all lights must be out before ten o’clock.
“Don’t forget to say your goodnight Prayers, she would have said”
Lately I've been thinking about childhood a lot

Suddenly, my thoughts turned to my first soap opera, Peyton Place,
Woody Allen, Mia farrow, and all my childhood memories came to a haul with…images of my friend Dolly Benskin and her daughter Paige:
Paige die at an early age: which haunted me for years..
why so young?

I use to love smoking candy cigarettes, but not between my toes
This morning of all mornings,
bonds with the carpet fibers is a piece of candy
 Sep 2015 Luisa bernabó
Mikaila
The places I feel it when you're gone.
I didn't know you could.
It's like vertigo,
Like that sensation when your chair tips,
Only in the oddest places.
In my hands, and they go a bit limp,
Unable to hold things like they should
As if they've forgotten how.
Sometimes my teeth ache, like I've just eaten something sweet and cold, and it spreads down my jaw and makes my head spin.
Things that shouldn't have vertigo- my bones,
My feet,
My lungs.
It's disorienting. It's a little scary.
But at the same time I hold onto it,
Proof that you mean something,
Proof that you have changed me inside
So drastically
That nothing knows how to work quite right anymore.
I have rarely ever needed comforting like I need it now
But how to ask...
And so I sit within my strange new body
That seems to be rediscovering the entire world
At a pace a bit too slow
To seem normal
And I wait for you
And I know that the second I see you
I will be on solid ground again.
everything* he says is poetry
and i am still learning how to speak

_
©raine cooper
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