I send forgiveness
To your door
She returns
With her refusal
To knock
Not yet
she says
Not yet

I do not do well
with a soft goodbye
when you leave I beg you
leave hard
You are breaking something
After all
So do not be gente or kind
And I do not want your pity
Give me a piece of your mind
I do not heal otherwise
scream loudly mean things
stomp your feet all over
what is still left lying around
break things if you must
to get your point across
make sure I understand
you mean what you say
when you say
you no longer intend to stay
kick me around some
Make sure the bruises show
leave me shaking on my knees
mascara streaked tears
staining the floor
when you close the door
because I do not do well
with soft goodbyes
where hope lies

There is
A fine line
Between appreciation
And ownership
Which I seem to fall over
Scraping my knees
Too often
Too Continously

I am haunted
by
things
that
do not
haunt
me

How merciful of memory
softening edges
bluring lines
with time

How softly kindness touches in the aftermath of a hardship

And while I held the door shut
You jumped through the window
Bringing your devil magic lust
Disguised as love
Plying the whims
Of a willing participant
With your rainbow coloured dreams
And alluring nightmares
Of how our ghosts
Could get along
And your monsters
Protect us
When really what I needed
Protection from
Was your lust disguised
And colourless dreams
Your empty words still
Echo
Through these hallways
Of my mind
Out all the way through
Down the hallway
To an empty kitchen
Where we cooked breakfast
And ate dinner
And laughed.
once