You'll realize what you lost
at midnight, when you're tossed and turned
staring down at your regrets
the Tourette's of memories bursting in your head
the torture of what could've been will leave you dead, just like you did to her
your tears will flow like sap from a tree
your glee will be ripped away
and may this pain last today, tomorrow, and for the rest of your life
because you lost the love of your life to your immaturity
And let this become your biggest insecurity
because the way you treated her, don't be upset when your friends prefer her instead of you
yes, that conversation was long overdue
but it didn't have to end like that
because your heart was the one that ended up splat on the ground
so may your heartache pound on the thoughts that your girl is gone
your happy ending was put up for pawn
and was sold to a man who will treat her better than you ever could
love her more than you ever would
and you'll sit there pondering,
squandering for a glimpse of hope
but you gave her up on the wrong terms
so may each midnight be spent haunting you
with the thoughts of what could've been
sweet dreams to you

I learned a lot about you today
and, let's just say, I feel pretty bad
not because of the things you did, I'm sad because I had no clue.
Sitting like I used to, with my Kellies, Barbies, and Kens
I paid no mind to how awful you used to dress,
how your blowout was always a mess,
or how you left our family stressed to clean up your mistakes
Yes, I had my fake and imaginary friends but you're 9 years older than me and had them too
I just wish I could've helped you through that time
the time when jail cells closed you in and trapped the smoke inside your lungs
like how every morning, I wash my face, teeth, and tongue
you would watch your back as you packed your bae, Mary Jane into your bag and hoped not to get caught.
And my 7-year-old thoughts couldn't have done anything to help
but, a couple years later, you gave up the kelp that lit YOU and smoked YOU until you were gone
But here you are, making songs and listening to the poems I write
and may I be right to say that I'm not 7 and you're not 17 anymore
the door of your false happiness has shut
but you're my brother and I love you
I just wish I could've been there for you sooner.

I've escaped cupid's clutches many times
I locked my heart away each time he came to say "Here you go"
He shoots his arrows at me, and I block them away
Except for a couple days ago..
My wall had fallen and my heart was broken
"Here you go"
Though I was upset about this, my heart suddenly restitched and I've fallen in love again
Now I feel like I've been sentenced to death
Each moment spent that I can't look into those big, beady eyes of his, I'd rather be dead
I'm just scared to get broken again
But, ****, his smile brings all of butterfly world into my stomach
And I can't stomach the fact that I'm plummeting into my own mind's demise
"He'll hurt you like the others" My brain claims
Yet, my heart says otherwise.
I've avoided cupid many times
However, I know I can't evade my fate
So, in this state of mind,
I'm fully bonded by this Boa constrictor of hopes and doubts
Or maybe I'm just overthinking
Maybe I should just listen to cupid for once

Earth, water, wind, and fire
no matter how hard the Earth shakes
no matter if the air blows too strong to take it in
no matter how high the water will rise
or how fierce the fire burns
I will always love you
Let earth try to shake us and swallow us up
yup, I know this sounds cheesy and lame
but I refuse to burn in the flame of regrets and chances I didn't take
I wouldn't let the Tsunami of overthinking make me into something small
I may be weak, I can be strong, but my breeze helps the birds fly
and, hopefully, push clouds away to exploit the beautiful stars in the dark sky
Earth, water, and fire come together to form the dire obstacles in our world
However, I am the invisible force, sharp as a blade, but softer than anything
I am the air.

"You'll find someone better"
I'm positive that every letter of that saying is correct
But, when can you detect that you have reached the best
Because of that, I hate this phrase
I hate it more than the people that cast me away
and the fact that all they can say is "You'll find someone better"
But what if they're the one you're supposed to be with forever?
What do you do when you have reached the best?
How about when that special guest checks out of the hotel heart-in-my-chest?
But, don't worry, I'll find someone better
Someone that will give me their only sweater in the blistering cold
Bold enough to not be ashamed of me
that sees past my imperfections
consistent enough to fill the sections in the story of my life
to treat me right without giving it a price
but what about when that person flees like the red leaves of fall?
What if that person never comes back?
"You'll find someone better"

It's 7am
and it's a Friday
The only reason I'm not sleeping like a baby is
well, because I had a nightmare,
about, guess who? You.
I received a text from a friend
and another chime again
I unlock my phone to see a picture
while she was there, reading little scriptures, you were just watching her
staring at her
you know, the way you used to look at me.
Conducting my morning routine with nothing but you in my head
I may still think about you as I lay awake in bed
But the second I'm up, the trauma goes away
but why not today?
I know I can never bring myself to love you again or revive what we had
it's been too long and we are gone from each other's lives
Those times has vanished and the chapter of "us" is finished
I can only wish you luck
That you get a new girl to text"Goodnight, baby" at night
And I wish that she might just be better for you than I was
This is the final buzz of you I'll have in my mind, hearing, smelling, and sight.
Goodnight.

The wind blows my paper away
just like you used to ******* away
Each day, I used to look forward to seeing you
Looking like you do, with eyes that twinkle the night sky of my life
Every night spent trying to decipher how your perfection came to be
That was until I fell asleep and woke up again to see
see that you were just an illusion
The fusion of our personalities created a chemical reaction
And, so fiercely, worse than a James Bond movie
But the difference is, this isn't a movie
This was the heart underneath my tee-shirt
How it was hurt and kicked in the dirt
and you just pretended you were fine
Even though you cry yourself to sleep at night, thinking of me, and what could've been the start of something great
When you wake up, you act as though you don't have a heart,
and you don't.
because it blew up into pieces along with mine
Yet, all we do is ignore each other and tell our friends "I'm Fine"
And one day, I'll be out dining with the family you didn't have with me
Seeing you across the many tables,
I'll raise my glass and nod my head
You'll do the same
Although I said nothing to you, both of us knew
and, slowly, I felt my heart grow back in my chest