Why was it so easy
to hide my blushing smile
than it is to hide
my devastated cries.

The ram is leaving the farm soon,
I felt myself chip away.
All of the songs you haven't heard,
began pulsating a sensation of pain.
Small gasps of air, but understanding,
I can't force you to stay here.
But I made the barn a place to relax,
to see you walk away devastates.

The ram is readying to go soon,
It's enjoying it's final suppers.
I really hope I can enjoy a meal,
knowing the Ram had it in store.

The Ram is leaving soon,
I checked for them each day.
I would always stare towards the sun,
wishing the ram a better day.

The ram, it's not staying,
A sense of denial, laughter and suffering.
Who will accompany the lonely bull now?
If the ram has gone away.

I've developed a fragile heart,
It makes me afraid of change.
I want to show you love,
But I fear you won't feel the same.

Your respect is strong and rigid,
But my heart is warm and pumping.
So I feel myself falling in love,
In the ways I feel I shouldn't.

You're stories birthed amongst the stars,
Makes my heart start growing leaves.
You said the fog was way too thick,
To see the constellations.

You were all my heart craved,
Under a mistletoe Christmas.
But even this year I'm alone,
Because you're not the one in it.

Each poem I write comes to an end,
But my heart feels the same.
The pumping, the butterflies and sick,
I'd do anything for you to feel the same.

You think you're keen,
You see my eyes,
My shift in key.

You think you're smooth,
But what if you knew,
My shift was because of your tune.

Exhausted by excitement,
Followed up by daily activity.
You feel yourself paralyzed in fear,
Nobody else would even begin to...
Speak, you're trying your hardest to speak.

Yet everyone hears my shouts
As whispers
In the night.

My tender Ram, why have you become so confused?
Your flame made you feel like somebody worth intimacy,
yet I see you burn the soul of someone new.

Your cluttered mind has revoked individuality,
the delight I once held has turned to ashes.

Chaotic screeching of a disorganized person,
sending a blaze to catch others alight!

A firestorm of undisciplined immaturity,
embers scatter my deep affection.

My dear Ram, what have you done?
Why has everyone else caught fire?

Sometimes a small spark is all that's needed to reignite the flames of self again; You are finally free, my dear.

The pins and needles flowering my daydreams,
leave me wondering if I'll ever kiss you.
After all this time you've been loved by my mind,
I'd do it all over again, a million times.

Complex past lives can fit like a puzzle,
but your desire for suffering came in with a chainsaw.
Lives can be truthful and forever a memory-filled mind,
but your lack of forgiveness, leaves me invalidated.

I just want to let it all fade in the wind,
of course I'll take consequences, but you just won't forget,
to remind me, to stab me as each day passes on,
I just want to let it all fade and be gone.

Perish my thoughts, re-create some kind of lie,
because so many years were lost because of your sick minds.
You chose to fracture the soul of a child,
to have her grow up picking pieces up, begging for a reminder,
as to why she should live on, as each day grows harder.

Is it so hard to forget about me? As I'm already left alone.
Is it so hard to let me be, just let me go.
The more you hold onto me, it suffocates me more,
I understand I wasn't great, but you're killing my soul.

I could fight mountains, earthquakes and stop tropical storms too,
no matter what amount of work I put in, it's worthless to you.
I don't know what else to say, what's the point of talking too,
when you erase each word I say to fabricate something new.

I'm done with all this suffering, I'm done with all this pain,
I've tried 300 times to just start over again,
won't you let me just grow, I don't want to hear my name.
Because of you, I started to hate every single one of my veins.

Frustration turns to tears, I can't deal with this again, it's pathetic,
it's petty and I'm getting exhausted of your games.
If I were to start over, to live my life again,
I wouldn't waste a breath on you, I'd walk the other way.

I thought,
This is everything,
I've ever,
Wanted for us.

So now, I ask myself,
Why you don't...
Want us to stay.

Scorpio became my friend,
Red glances and stares.

I'm happier to be honest,
But his eyes still don't follow.

A new friend is truly great,
It makes his pain hurt a little less.

It ***** that I can't say,
What I want to truly say.

It hurts when I can't shout,
What I want to shout out!

How many years must pass,
For you to open your eyes?

Was I ever yours?
Will you ever be mine?

Wondering forever in a trance,
Illusions of change followed as well.
Literature bruises left in her mind,
Longing nightmares ruin her nights.
Only she stays awake to dream,
Where she can finally be with him.

My horns of tree trunks; Lift my fragile head,
Born in the image of Venus; I live my life to regret.
Delicate locks of golden brown; They'll flow like a river downwards,
As leaves will begin to crowd; Hiding my own *****.

Hidden behind the willow tree; Shall stand both a woman and girl.
One in each other, just simply in different worlds.
A desperate glance of despair, falling from eyes of the young,
A hopeful glare of happiness as the woman looks towards the air.

Laying amongst the dirt, the rough ground and grit,
it dirties my hands and covers my fingertips.

I sprawl outwards like a cat, relaxing below the sunshine,
I close my eyes as the sun becomes nothing more than a nightlight.

Sweet Taurus; It's whomst I am;
Sweet Lady of The Lamb.
I live this life as a mortal being,
but dreams of becoming a deity within my mind.

In prayers,
I capture your heart.

I gazed out of the window of the car,
Begging myself to see you.
I imagine touching your face,
Praying you'd kiss me too.
A deep sigh is all I can give,
my complex feelings leave me muted.

I wonder if you really know,
How immensely deep I feel for you.
I always hope everyday,
That I might see your face again.

I crave your touch, your smile and laugh,
For it fills me up with a joy unlike any other.

Someday, you will fuel my heart with sudden love.

It's a dream I have,
I hope we share.

Leaving her side brittle and torn,
Overdramatic assumptions and worse truths.
Vicious glances and brutal stares,
Even now, I wonder if she cries.

Limelight moments captured,
Operahouse settings left in pieces.
Vindictive attitude and grins,
Eliminated pasts left timelessly.

Silver linings break me apart,
Undeniably fragile in my mind.
Zealous or jealous? I'm not envious,
Uptight, maybe.

Kindly remind me that you,
Love me too.

Literature flows through her mind,
Open and free like a chamber of time.
Unique requirements fulfilled in her mind,
Irrationality forming one day at a time.
Starlight memories sunk deep in,
A broken heart raindrop filled.

Mighty and strong to the mind,
I seem so cowardly by your side.

Carelessly restlessly walking on,
Help me through this bitter storm.

Are you real? Or am I fake?
Even with fear, I'm just so afraid.

Let me just state to you,
I really think I might love you.

Thoughts are plastered dream-like,
Hell on earth, a heart on fire.

Irreplaceable suffering of own pleasure,
Not now, not here...
Know that I love you.

I can't control their words,
Love hurts and burns my inners.

Overwhelmed by constant thoughts,
Viciously spun deeper in love.

Eventually you might see,
You're so special to me.
Over time I hope you'll feel,
Undeniably the same I do.

Killing inside from how I've been,
I can't imagine the pain...
Mustered from your lips.

Bright mind with overflown joy,
Loving personality and poise.
Absolutely irreplaceable,
Intelligent, incredible and...
Reckless.
Everyone's favourite kind of girl.

I'm sorry,
I can't help this, it's something I keep saying to myself.
I'm just very afraid,
Of what anyone has to say.
On one hand you hurt me,
On the next, I don't want him to.
Your love was all I had left,
When my life met a sunken end.

He was never given a chance.

Beauty blossoming on display,
Emerging grace from elegancy.
Creative sparks illuminating us,
Kingdoms born from illicit loves.
You're an inspiration to me.

Moments of pure magic,
I shared between you and I.
Chances of love, eyes drop,
Heavenly gazes, lovestruck faces.
Astounding starlight patterns show,
Even within the dark, we create light,
Love shared between you and I.

There are many ways,
I want to say sorry.

I'm sorry for being so quick,
To cut you off from my heart.
I grabbed the scissors of fate,
Snipping our wire in the dark.

I'm sorry for being so rash,
Barely holding myself back.
I would leave you confused,
As my glared reminders stayed.

I'm sorry for how I act,
I can't control it, it's unfair.
You understood after all,
Maybe we're not so unalike.

I'm sorry for being so blunt,
Saying it without a warning in sight.
You smiled at a compliment then
To see I meant love at that time.

I'm sorry I'm so cowardly,
I never anticipated this moment.
Everyone reassures me it's natural,
That it's okay. But I still feel guilty.

I'm sorry, I fell in love with you,
I really tried not to,
The last thing you need is me,
Bothering you all eternity.

You're dressed soft and warm,
You let out a smile around me,
It's all I need to see.

You'll speak about how you adore,
The pictures moving on the walls,
It's all I need to hear.

Your demeanor is tall and defensive,
But in similarity to one of a bear,
It's all I need to feel.

Sensations of water rushing through,
In a wonderful, melodic way,
It's all I need to smell.

The warmth you give when you cook,
The smell and tastes that excite me...
It's all I need to taste.

I yearn, so badly...
Is it too late for you to touch me?

You brought me dreams,
From rigid pain.
One that I hope,
You'll grow free of again.

The sunflowers are blooming,
For the first time again.
My mind has raised higher,
Into aspiring false fates.
My heart is warmer,
It fills my eyes with tears.

I've made a million mistakes,
You weren't one of those.
You brought me joy,
Overwhelming support.

Soon it'll be true,
I cannot wait.
To see and touch,
Your face again.

A warm pinch, not painful.
Timid tingles, graceful lurking.
I think of your face, light-headed.
My mind is alluring.

I dream of your eyes, so dark and ripe.
Lips sealed, so tight.
My sinful night.

You carry on like a fast-paced wheel,
While I am stuck in place.
You carry on everyday,
But I'm stuck here just the same.
I hope I'm fine, I want more time,
Please don't take that away.

To be just someone else on a list
Of others
Would just pain me.

Is hurts to see the past,
Being so ugly bitter in the present.
I panic about the future,
Left in a stagnant worry.

I find it hard to vocalise jealousy,
As I feel guilty it being part of me.
But can you really blame me,
Seeing you be loved before me.

I don't look like any of these women,
I appear differently in every way.
I internally panic and worry,
That you want something I'm not.

Why do you keep ahold of the past,
The memories, notes and valentine's.
By holding onto your used-to-bes,
I feel weak to my knees.

I saw it, but I wish I didn't,
Because now my insecurity thrives.
Like a venomous snake poisoning,
These thoughts come back to haunt again.

I can't feel the same,
You came and forced your hate
Down my throat,
In my face.

I can't feel the same,
You want me to suffer,
So clearly and obviously,
While glorifying yourself as a deity.

I can't feel the same,
With years of regret and selfhate,
Being reopened and wounded,
Repeatedly again and again.

I can't feel the same,
When you stripped me of safety,
Security, love and peace.
You preach what you hate.

I can't feel the same,
I will never feel that way.
You've shattered my glass inner,
With a lack of mercy or empathy.

She can't feel the same,
Yet you'd use that as a way,
To justify your pain and hurting me
Just the same.