I woke up next to you that morning, with bruises and bite marks on my arms that proved you loved me the night before. You kissed them and I swear I heard them sigh.
But that same night, you left me again. What changed in you within that day I'm still unsure. But you told me I could no longer be a priority to you. And I felt all my importance disappear in an instant.
It all made sense to me after that, though. The bruises, I mean. You left a mark so I would remember you even after you left. You even kissed them goodbye.
And then you disappeared as well.


↠mndi➣

I always wanted to write you a song.
I noticed people who sung and made music attracted your attention.
there's something about writing a song to someone
that makes them  love you more I always thought.

I wanted to show how your presence
gave me a sweet melody that kept my mind calm.
I just wanted you to hear
the symphony of feelings I felt for you.

Unfortunately I have no beat.
chords are too hard to put together.
I can't sing to save my life.

I could only write you cheesy poems.

for you.

about you.

about us.

but a poem is no song.

I write with the rhythm of my heart
but it's only words on a page to you.

I don't care what you did in your past, what  I  care about is now; the present, this moment were its just you and me.

I am not saying I am not hurt by the fact that you may be in pain, what I am saying is that loving you is my goal. All these other mistakes that are in the way are just trials that I will pass, i have been spending time with love and feel like I should give you a piece.

God knows you need it more than I do, I  need you to smile so that i can smile. I need to you to love so that I too can love. I wont pause such a moment that reminds me of the painful reality, what i would freeze is the moments were you smile, even if its just a fraction of a second in my own dreams.

I am not asking for the world, i am not asking for money, i am  not asking that you have to look like a Brad Pitt or be the Beyonce of the world: what i am asking is for, what i am asking is to love you, plain and simple as you will allow it, even just for today before god turns off the lights.

I dont wake up with intentions to ruin ur day or break the promises that i made. I wake up with intentions to be that bit of happiness in a bad day that you are having. I can go only that far, because thats how far you let me into your world, thats how far "this" goes.

These big wallls that sorround you are made of concrete that i cant break down, barriers that make me look like the bad person. I only push you to your limits because I want to see you explode, see you break down so that atleast you would let me in to help you pick up the pieces.

I am not a fragment of your past that keeps on appearing into your new future, stop treating me like i wont understand because whats the point of me playing all my cards while you have stacks hidden up your sleeve? Its a long shot but for "this' to work, you have to take it.

I dont want to be the reason why you cry urslf to slip everynyt, waking up the next morning with a fake smile. I will admit to my mistakes and imperfections because they are flaws that resurface only because i try too hard to make u smile or make U remember enough not to forget me.

I guess i got hooked on the happy ending part and i forgot about the happy beginning.I want everyday to end with a smile , not a fake smile. i want everyday to end with an I LOVE YOU  not as a "formality" but an authentic feeling that you genuinely have.

I will never be perfect but let me be perfect for you, teach me how to make you happy, how to make the day end with a smile, because seeing you happy is what completes a day for me...

It is only
when one
is sick and
devoid of it
does one
realise that
all the world's
a love song
And the people
star-crossed lovers.

I loved being in love
I loved that giddy feeling I got when I talked to you
I loved the way my heart got all fluttery
I especially loved your smile
But, there are always the things that make you wonder
I didn't love the feeling I got staring at my phone for hours, waiting
I didn't love how my heart would get so heavy so fast, til I couldn't move and needed you to free me
I especially didn't love how I always felt you didn't care at all

That's why I'm using past tense
So I can get over this feeling faster
The thing I value most is freedom
But somehow you got me to chain myself
And you never meant to, I know
You never knew,
But I still need to break the chains
Because I've recently been discovering,
I deserve to be happy too