I wanna be the wanderer lost in your body*

I'll treat the lines of your hands as road maps;
your fingerprints as busy intersections

I wanna get lost in every corner of your body
exploring ‘til I see darkness and cobwebs on the insides of your ribcage

I wanna see every broken piece of your heart;
and mend them together, one by one, slowly and surely

I wanna get lost in your mind and hear your every thought
Your opinions, your dreams, your frustrations, and your sweet pillow talk
(I bet they’ll all be fascinating and depressing at the same time)

I’ll stay at the corners of your mouth
Your lips will be my pillow and bed, your words will be my bedtime stories

I wanna memorize your scars, and examine them
I’ll figure out everything behind every mark,
and know how they made you stronger

Your clavicle will be my resting place
after I travel through your veins

I’ll spend a week looking in your eyes, determining whether they’re black or a hue of dark hazelnut

I will travel along the lines of your face,
and observe how these lines wiggle as you smile, or frown, or cry

I’ll climb to the bridge of your nose,
and be amazed to see everything clearly

I’ll drop by your liver
and comfort it every time you gulp a six pack beer

I’ll pass by your lungs
and clean it after you finish a pack of cigars

I’ll protect you
I’ll accept everything that you are

It will take me forever to know every tiny detail of your body,
but I’m gonna love it
I am sure
because *I don't mind getting lost
as long as it's in you

If a forever with you
is what heaven feels like

I'd be more than willing
to take my own life

let me die happy
or let me die
fighting for it

You're my home
Now I'm **homesick

until my soul
fills your lungs
with flowers

until my love
cleanses
the cobwebs
beneath your ribs

until my heart
pumps the blood
your body needs

until my bones
crumble to cover
your veins //

**breathe me in
and never
exhale me out

my body's tired from doing tasks that I have no passion for
my eyelids are getting heavier by the minute,
like no amount of coffee can ever keep me awake
i am drained;
the kind of exhaustion that neither sleep nor food can ever cure

my teachers say they're preparing us for something bigger
i worry about my sleep debts but i worry more about passing
i just hope that the "bigger thing" is worth more than my health

yet here i am writing this poem that has nothing to do with the things i am required to pass
but at least it has no format,
it has no rules;
& more importantly,  i have no one to please

for my professors this poem is a waste of time
for them, this poem doesn't matter
but it does
it does to *me