i get too attached
i get too focused
i get too comfortable
to strangers
to new people
to old friends
too fast
too fast
too ******* fast

i hate myself for it,
i can't think about you, or her, or him
without wanting to pick up
the small silver solution
and push it into the feelings
and have it all wash away
like when i used to stand in the shower
for hours at a time to just think about things
but now i cant stop thinking and it gets too difficult
to stop thinking and just fall asleep to
temporarily leave this dastardly plane of
"living"

why do we teach children the wrong things*
why do we tell children* if they are being teased by the opposite gender, it's love
why do we tell children that santa claus and the easter bunny exist
why do we tell children that everything is going to be okay

we are teaching children that love starts slightly abusive
we are teaching children imaginative creatures just to tell them they don't exist later
we are teaching children that all pain goes away

i learned in psychology a valuable lesson
that humans have a need to belong
now i see

im not such a different human
*at all

I do not smoke because I am addicted, as the smoke begins to make me choke
I began smoking because the smoke fills my lungs, allowing me to feel like I'm breathing something besides this sadness, it fills all the empty holes in my soul that you put there.

I don't really know how to feel,
I'm taking too many pills, my bottle is half empty,
I'm smoking more often, because my lungs feel less empty.

I liked you, very much, you were very different, but then you tried to fit in
Our feelings became more original than different, and our actions became more of a routine than a surprise.
**The biggest surprise we had was when I broke up with you.