Her skin against mine is the closest to heaven I’ll ever get.
Her soft ocean blue eyes gazing into my boring brown ones
That is the only time I feel safe.
When her long fingers comb through my hair,
I am at peace.
When her breath mingles with mine,
I feel happy.
And when her lips meet mine,
When we mold against each other,
When my fingers lace through her hair while her arms hold me close,
I know…
This is the closest to heaven that I’ll ever get.

Mind, like a deciduous forest
has lost all its foliage,
all leaves torn away
by the autumnal blasts

The brain where great schemes were concocted
is now an abyss where spiders sway
It is bare – dismally barren
of all memories – sweet and sour
Like a kite afloat in the boundless sky
moving nowhere, but as the wind directs,
cut out from the past, turned from the present
with the future yet to surge from the abyss
or like serpents intertwining,    
hissing in turmoil within the brain,
unable to sense the gusty blast,
or hear the whispering air,
dead to sounds that disturb,
deaf to songs that soothe,
like a phantom he moves weird,
drifting far away
to a space and time impenetrable  
with nothing to make the mind agog
or depress it to let out a sigh.

Loitering on roads without hurrying feet
with no bliss coming on the way
to run or hasten to embrace
or fear to be missed sore
passing through dark labyrinthine tunnels
forever barred with no exit
churned in oblivion, oblivious of all,
he remains a spectral facsimile
of his onetime self
plummeting into a black hole

The pulse of a heart beat
is all that keeps him alive,  
all else is dead…… !  
with dreary nights ahead
that shall not know another morrow

There is a howling ghost haunting my ribcage,
And she refuses to let me sleep.

She's been set alight so many times,
But her will to survive runs deep.

There's something, something important,
She writes on the insides of my bones, her walls -

"Never let them fool you: a queen is still only human,
But the difference is that she rises as the darkness falls."

"I can see my door, my bed, my window, my chair, and my table.

"I can feel my spine against the wall, my feet against the floor, my jaw tightly shut, and my fingernails buried in my arms.

"I can hear the wind coming in from the open window, my heartbeat rapidly thumping, and that familiar voice in my head, shouting once again.

"I can smell the dampness of the ground outside as the breeze carries it to my room, and the sickly sweet odor from the soap used on my hands.

"I can ******* blood spilling from the bite in my lip; my last harsh reminder that
        I
        am      
        still
        alive.

(you are not mine)

I ride this wave alone.
surfboard.
crash.
drown.

up for air.
breathe again.
eyes open.
sunshine.

feet on sand.
i escaped the pull of pain.
within the waves.
of heartache.

i long for you.
to wrap me in a towel.
your arms.
cradle my small body.

strip out of wetness.
step into heat.
water washing away the fear.
i felt in the sea.

------

(and if you were...)

crawl into sheets.
mattress underneath,
you on top.
all your weight.
pushing me into bliss.

rise.
from slumber.
your body against mine.
warmth and wetness meet again.

chew. swallow.
nourished by grains.
tea,
brew.
wake me further.

my day begins and ends.
with you.
i find my way.
back to your love.

troubled.
over-thinking.
you quiet the noise.
crippled.
you caress this soul.

i meet the sea again.
and you pull me free.
from the waves.
of a scarred brain.
that has seen evil.
and monsters.

you love me regardless.
of my foibles.
and.
you set me free.