Standing in a sea of people
As a lone island
Floating around
In the endless nothingness
Drifting away and drowning
Falling apart
And piecing yourself back together
Over and over
And over again
Every single second of the day
Wishing for it to all stop
Helplessly knowing
Nobody will ever hear
Your silent cries
...
Noone could ever save you
Because how could they
Ever save you
From yourself
...
It's hearing yourself talk
And move
And smile
Maybe even laugh
But knowing
It's all an act
With noone to yell "cut"
At the end of the scene..
Because your whole life
Has become a giant play,
Where there could be
A thousand people
And a thousand lights,
There could be a thousand claps
And a thousand great nights
Still all the while
You'd be a thousand times lonely
Drowning in the lights
Drowning in the laughter
Drowning in yourself
All because
You've become too good
At acting
Like you could swim
...
Depression is killing yourself
Slowly
Every day
Every minute
Every single second,
From the inside out
Because you don't know
Who you are anymore
Except for an empty body
Defining disappointment
And a burden
And a void of fake
All wrapped in one.
...
Depression is Loneliness
Depression is Acting
Depression is Drowning
But most of all,
Depression is Me.

when you lead with your left
all you have left, is the right thing to do.
and even that can be arbitrary.

you may approach the bench
but the bench will press you -
against any falsehood

where the ornament is a winged siren
above the headlights.

you might get comfortable
boxing crows in a corn field, after dark -
but then, you could be an alabaster pearl
in the raven's tear. or some-such goblin
that feeds on sustained grief
and bought that house on the corner
of your mind's eye.

you might swear to eat the pentagram.
but can't even taste a straight line.
it boggles the googly calamity
in progress.

and i can still taste your open mind from here.

What kind of man
are you to break
the vows of a girl
But the girl didn't make the vow to herself
so she's committed to no one else

Slowly getting close to me
on a sofa
you broke my resistance
you besieged me
That was your weapon
The closeness of your body on mine
Those shy hands out there when people watch

And I was only cheating myself
that I loved the man
But I couldn't bear the charm
of his arms
around me
So it happened
You are the vow breaker
Now I cannot answer your messages
because you can't hear me
Now I wish I could tell you
Don't know how to react to this
I had never done this ugly thing
Sinning deep on a Saturday night

What kind of man are you
to break my oaths, act like they were not?
The air was thick with desire
growing from all parts
And that desire was thicker than his love...
his love that never was

You're a dream
That crawled into my bed
And never came true

You're a laugh
          About to burst into tears

What you are
          Is vague
                And beautiful

I've grown accustomed to Earth pulling at my chain,
Seldom have I questioned the laws that restrict me;
Yet, for adverse reasons that no one can explain,
On some unknown date Death will come to evict me

I'll object, maybe even kicking and screaming,
When I'm told that it's time for me to move along;
For what purpose was all my planning and dreaming,
And all the knowledge I gathered from Nature's song?

I watched Time flowing at its pre-determined pace,
Believing in the promises of tomorrow;
Though at times quite overwhelmed, I ran a good race,
And kept the faith amidst challenges and sorrow

Now I'm being warned the day of transfer is nigh.
How can I leave all the wondrous things I have seen:
The ever-changing blues of the sea and the sky,
Earth's velvet mantle in its many shades of green?

Mesmerized I've stood watching the tide's ebbs and flows,
It was the blackest seas that reflected the stars;
And when held captive by loneliness and its woes,
Love sent its brightest rays through my heart's prison bars

So familiar with this Earthly home have I grown,
How can I leave all I love so far behind me?
Catapulted to some distant orbit unknown,
I wonder, will memories of Earth still bind me?

Will I miss morning's dew sating the thirsty rose,
Or a sudden winter's gale, blowing wild and rough?
I've had my share of anguish and pain, Heaven knows,
But my deepest regret:  I was not loved enough!