This evening I will discover a fibrous black-green substance under the nails of the first three fingers on my right hand.
I will excavate it with a nail file, and inspect it in my palm, it will be poked, prodded, and rolled into a ball.
I will recognize this substance.
While I recollect,
There will be a sleeping sea turtle one hour south, twenty minutes out, and twelve meters deep with three long scratches etched into the algae - exposing a marbled shell.
My vision will narrow and my senses will perk.
I will breath long heavy breaths into my regulator,
I will feel fins pushing past, up and through my heart strings,
I will spill salt water tears,
The ocean is a fishbowl that contains only me, and a creature after my own self.

Spinning
The world is dizzying
The sky is turning
My mind is aching
Everything makes sense yet so confusing
All of this nonsense is mentally abusing
So little gained yet not worth losing
A path I make my own but not by my choosing
The light is blinding
The darkness is binding
My path is rewinding
My head is grinding
My body is bleeding
But I keep writing
Because the words keep biting
And my soul keeps screaming
In this world so beautifully spinning

feeling so so
is sometimes
as good as
it gets.

I was changed.
Not changed like the tide,
which always changes back
But changed like an atomic bomb
went off in my body, in my heart.
She was a nuclear reaction
A tiny bit of matter that alters the state of everything she touches.
She was radioactive,
You could feel her coming.
She was a bomb
And I'm a lost atoll,
drifting in the Pacific.
Destroy me in the most
beautiful of explosions.
Split me, subatomically,
and realign me how you wish.
She was science and she was engineering.
She was mankind's best,
doing mankind's worst.
She was detonation,
She was a split second explosion.
Depth charges that awaken,
Super sonic flash wiring,
blinding brilliance.
She was self destructive implosions
Bringing down the walls.
I'm a deserted structure,
waiting to be torn down.

Society’s supermarkets selling you lies,
Sweet and savory because the truth is tasteless.
Words prepacked in plastic boxes,
Their best-before-dates washed out because they've already expired yesterday.
Keep smiles frozen so they’ll never run out of stock.
And rotten teeth and brittle bones have never been so popular before.
Coat-hanger-shaped torsos on the meat counter,
And skinny spider legs on sale.
High-heeled and suntanned and bleached and naked
Spineless with bony spines and hollow eyes
I can see them every day running through the hall
Only to grab that one last piece of beauty.

The hull
Is his skull
Damaged and cracked
Childhood
Fractured
Teenage bliss
Bashed
Existence rocks smashed
His cradled youth brain
Over
    And over
        And over
            Again

The mast
Is his past
Black tattered sails soared
Plundered his splitting mind
In the depths he explored  
Left him drowning
Then washed up  
And stranded ashore
Consumed by his drinking
Anchored in thinking
These bones nothing more
Than the sinking
    The sinking
         The sinking
             Deplore

The stern
Is his spine
The helm of his motion
With no wheel it bends
To his current emotion
Emptiness craving
The weight of this ocean
A storm-weathered back
And eroded ribcage
Set a course for astray
As he drifts
     Ever further
         And further
             Away

The bow
Is his sternum
Sunken chest treasure
Greed sleeps in its hold
Through selfless endeavor
Still coveting gold
Yet pounding desire
White-cap knuckles slam
Against ego waves
Like a battering ram
Towards an island of purpose
His bones can stand for  
After yearning
    And longing
        And lusting
             For more

His heart
Precious cargo
Still breaks as it's thrown
To the soul-crushing blue
Lovelessness all alone
He clings to frail hopes
And starves to taste home
Yet thirsts for her fair
Aphrodite sea foam
To kiss his bones bare
This shipwreck skeleton
Over
   And over
       And over
          Again