Sooner or later
I just wish
I don't die

I just need someone real
real to be here
I know that there's God
but sometimes I just can't
can't keep being strong

I'm broken inside
all the masks are not real
Sometimes
I just want to **** myself
better, fast, easy solution

But there's no easy way to die
Sleeping pill? Maybe..
worth to try..

What happen if I eat 4 pills at once
or 8 pills? will I just die then?
the world just become too horrible
and I can't handle it no more...

People find life so fun
But I only found loneliness
tears, cry at night, and
people keep on leaving

I know the worst meaniest person
but people still adore him/her
While being good, somehow
doesn't give you anything

what if 'faith and hope' is just a cliche
to just make you believe that
there's answer for everything
when there's none

what if religion is just a cliche
to just make you believe that
there's this God who loves you
where actually no one

what if 'pray and wishes' is just a cliche
to just make you believe that
there's miracle in everything
when its actually just a vain

I hope this tears end up soon
im tired being like this
tired with everything
I need changes

I need me
mylife to be whole

You said you got this kind of weird feeling
you thought about her feeling

i wish i was brave enough
to ask you
"How about mine?"
when you did the same thing

: )

Here goes the prayer
Things I can’t say
Things I never want
But maybe
It could be a new path
A path that leads
to the right new things

You’re the one
That truly hold my world
Guide me through this
Give me a sign
Serenity inside me
Inside this heart of mine

Lord
You see me through
All things in
In this whole soul

Let me
Walking out
And in with You
In any kind of places
Forever
*And always

Hello,
it's been such a long time
all i wanna say is just

i miss you
i miss you
i miss you
i miss you
i miss you
i miss you
i miss you
i miss you
i miss you
i miss you
i miss you
i miss you
i miss you
i miss you
i miss you
i miss you
i miss you
i miss you
i miss you
i miss you
i miss you
i miss you
i miss you
i miss you
i miss you
i miss you
i miss you
i still do love you

too
much
:")

Unselfish itself is difficult
Knowing the right thing to do
While weighing the best for you
is different, in understanding about
What other people might needs

They said it was easy
No it’s not
Knowing the pattern right in the eyes
Seeing all the clues and cliches
is like, knowing the difference
But blinded by all the merry

“Life never easy”
No one wants to admit that
For truly

But I do believe one thing
When there’s a way
There is a way
If there’s no way
Make your own way
If not, find the people
To show you the way

Not a ghost
Nor a broken heart

It just..

The look in your eyes
Everytime I tried to talk.
That curious expression,
Each movement of your brows,
and the changing smile of yours

I am dying a little bit inside
Wondering about the thoughts inside your head
Will you understand about it
Will you.. will you...

I hate the sudden change in your eyes
The slow movement in each of your blinks
That sudden movement of your chin
And each deep breathe you take in front of me

Making me hate myself
and I already am
hating myself without knowing
blaming me for the mistake I don’t even made

.
.
.

That 30 seconds expression of yours
breaking me apart

</3

Running away
Hiding
Without no one knowing
For a day
For a day

Escaping from reality
Thinking about
all about the mess
all the thoughts
all the good and the bad
And you, maybe

Resting
But not sleeping
Walking without fear
Of tomorrow
Of the past
Even the future

The day today is much scarier
I need space
I need me
I need myself
Rebuild
Retouch
Reset

:'(

Is it weird to be sad When others are happy
Cause i am right now
It seems like everything goes wrong

Is it a wrong thing to be sad
When you hear about other Happiness
Am i jealous? Do i?

Is it weird When you desired about the thing you know you can’t have?
And you even feel mad about it
Cause you just can’t have it instantly

Is it wrong not to be in love with someone temporarily? Just because you’ve been hurt for like a thousand times, you tried so hard to stay, but you need healing so you just run away.

Is it wrong if you still miss the same love you’ve been fantasize about, the love that you wish you had somehow in someway.

Is it wrong to be complicated? Like you’ve been in love with the complicated things because it’s making you crazy in love with it.

Too much addiction
Too much distraction

You’re the mix of my
Addiction and distraction

I want to let you go
But I’m addicted

I don’t care about anything
yet I put too much focus on you

You such a good toxic for me

you're not the right for me
you're not the part of me
you're not the whole thing
you're just for the day

don't blame yourself
it's all on me
because of me
you're hurting

because

i'm not the right for you
i'm not the part of you
i'm not the whole thing
i'm just for the day

I dont’t want this kind of Love
Too flat for me
It’s Just like Another specific “Love”
the bored-ness comes by to say Hi
Or maybe im Just not the one for you

I Just wanna be your galaxy
I don’t want to be your moon or earth
Much complex the better
I need you to be complicated
I need to feel more

Should i cut the ties
Should i push you away
Too comfortable with you hurting me
Life is Cruel, you’re Just too nice
I’m too young to be like you

Just Dont be scared
is what i want you to be
Im Just try to Live life
The life you Live is not life i want
Too young for this empty bottle

I’m not afraid of commitment
About the whole life you try to give
I Just can’t anymore
You’re too Good to be with me
I deserve more than this kind of feeling

I deserve more than the way you Kiss me
I deserve more than the way you care me
I deserve more than the way you hold me
I need more, i need to feel more
You’re Just too..

Too plain
Too Good
Too structured
Too static
Too predictable

Im Sorry...

you wish too much on such little things
like a tiny spec trying to reach the galaxy

little things matter the most
but sometimes, your heart matter too :")

don't go to far
don't expect much
just be a better self of yours each day
and keep on growing from yesterday

it's okay to be afraid on tiny little things
but it is much more better to be
afraid of much bigger things

little things matter the most
when you've overcome the bigger things first

it hard to be someone else's star
you live like you're not belong
and smile like you're unhappy

you wish you were
but you are not
then why?

because you just love to
try,
try,
then you try for another try

you push yourself
you know not to
but for once, your mind and heart goes the same way

whispering your body to
"keep on trying"

in hope that
someday
you do.

Then
i just hope
love will find me
once again
.

Meeting someone in life
is something
that's actually astonishing.

That's because
he brings himself
with his past,
his present,
and his future.

That's because
someone's whole life
comes along.

The heart is fragile.
Therefore, it might have been broken.

That heart
is coming too.

how does it feel
knowing
feeling
hearing

does time really need
to be involved

does miracle
really does take time

or it just for
desperation theory

dramatically
yes it's true
i am all the drama
i am all the chaos
i am dramatically
fallen for you

dramatically
true

it was hard, it is
cleaning up the messy part
you are the messy part of me
everything was great
but i was forgotten
i forgot who you are
i forgot your heart

hope you'll remember me
the messy part of yours
the part where i might not even there
or was there for once
hope someday you'll reminisce about me
on your happy day
and the saddest part of yours

always knowing that
my hands will always opened up for you
not to bring you back
but to heal you once again
cliche : to make you happy again
and again

now i am letting you go
thank you for being the best part of me
somehow i wish things turn out for better way
for better us, better we, better possibilities

i'll always pray for you
i am praying for you
whispering the best for you
and i hope you too, still
hoping for the best part of me

i wish you knew i much i longing for you
believing you're still the one for me
faith-ing all the things we've been through
but tears is tears, end is the end

your vision is not mine
and my vision is not yours
you see the light
i see the sky

maybe we could be
but enough is enough
you enough for me
but me is not enough
yeah, i know :')

enjoy your part

let me enjoy mine

for last and true :
i've loved you <3

you're not belong to me
you're for someone better
i'm sorry for loving you
i'm sorry for myself for wanting you
i'm sorry for depending too much on you

i'm sorry
i'm sorry
i'm sorry
i'm sorry

i just want you to love me
fight for me
fight for everything that we could have
fight for the feeling
fight
fight
fight

:")
or maybe it just me?

or are u too tired to fall in love again?
afraid for what'll happen next?
afraid of the future?
afraid of me? :')

or is it me?

are you too tired to do matchy things with me?
too tired to get to know me deeper, again?
too tired to start over again?
too tired of these feelings?

i want you
you
you
you

to be honest,
yes, i'm too easy to fall in love
just give me your smile
care for me
and share your pain with me
i'll love you unconditionally

loving me is easy
loving you also the same

but maybe "fight for me"
would be hard for you

by seeing you love "easy" things
it made me realise that
everything that you want
is something "easy"

yes, i am difficult
yes, i got nothing to offer you
yes, i am dumb
yes, i am crazy
yes, i am such a loser
yes, i am "all the things you might want to throw away"

but loving you for me is also crazy

and i love crazy things

but i know you're not :')

maybe i won't see any future with you
but i love the "maybe"-ness we might had
i want to feel an extraordinary love
i don't need the common love
maybe i'm naive
but i simply love all the chances that life gave
i want to feel it all
i want to try it all
with you or without you
i just want to bear it all
just hold my hands
i'll love you
with all of me
with all my heart
simple as that

i want to forget
everything
everything that i had
everything that i have
everything that i lost
everything that i lose
everything that i love
everything that i want
everything that i need
everything that i loved
because
i need love more than this
i need love more than just this
more than the big blue sky and sun above the sky
more than the smile that once smiled by you
more than the laugh that i heard
more than the feeling that felt for you
because
i need everything above the limit
i want to feel a lot of feelings
and above of all
i want to feel you

this is my heart problems
my anxiety
and madness
insecurities kicks in

it just like
i don't belong
and never belong
to anyone or any other else

maybe what they say is true
people hate ugly person
i am ugly
i feel ugly
and they hate me

for once i just want to feel loved
i want to feel like i am wanted
i want to feel like me myself is enough
maybe i just want to be loved

i always make them happy around me
but then they will forget
they don't want to be with me
i know i am ugly
thank you
for making me realise
more and more

i want love to hold my hands
give me a another chance
to feel the love for once
and forever

i might be wrong
i might be misheard
i might be end up alone
but i always believe in love

i always thought
all the things i do
might bring you back
near to me once again

but i was wrong
i really wrong
i am the one who push you
away from me
away from love

when it supposed to be me
who receive the love you had
i regret all the things i did
because of myself i am alone

because of you
i believe in karma
it makes me afraid
to get to know you
to crave for me

but in the end
it's always only me
the one who need love
from the way you need love
like a bad karma

i used to push away
all the love that god gave
thought like i was worthy
setting a high standard
when all u need is just love

and now i think
i just need to be grateful
for all the people
who used to love me
before and now

cause i will never
never ever be
worth saving
:")

to think of you
when i know you're not
i want love
the way i see love
the way i feel love
and the way it makes me feel
but you want somebody else
not the love i want

this is what i don't like
i open up to you
and you just let me hangin'
waited for you to make the first move
but you let me down

this is what i don't want
i don't wanna fall for you
but i do

this is what i don't want
to fall in love with you
so easy
like this

maybe i'm the fools
the more i don't want you
the more i crave for you

this is what i don't want
to see you with someone else
this is exactly what i don't want

but i do want you

i need love to escape
escape from this hurtful reality
reality that brings me down
down to depression
a meaningless obsession
and lot of tiring occasion

*never been thirsty like this before

it hurts me
seeing you standing
alone
without any hands to guide you

so then

there it goes

i'm giving you my hands
not to guide you
cause i can't
i'm giving you my hands
to make you stronger
to make you know
that i am there
for you

Word of confusedness when something's not right
Howling inside your mind like there's no solution
Y*elling and keep on begging for the answers
.
when you know, there's no answer for it*
.
so,why?

can't sleep last night
i hate that
i can't meet you in my dreams

if loving you isn't right
let me love you in my dreams

the only place
i could be with you



D.R.E.A.M.S.