If I was lucky, some people would make up stories like I had a crush on him and He had a crush on me and We lived happily ever after.

But we all know that's not going to happen.

So I'm just going to crush the butterflies. **** them before they **** me.

Because let's be real,
He'll forget about me.
And I'll forget about him.

And I'll go on with my life,
Dragging down a list (+1) of men that happened to walk by.

I had a very comfortable lifestyle but I gave it away for happiness. When I was younger l thought happiness is a state of mind. I thought I'd find it embodied in success like a package deal. My only goal then was to be successful until I started asking myself, successful in what? Just when I couldn't formulate an answer, that's when I realized I wasn't genuinely happy.

I am clinging tight on this superficial feeling.
I caught a butterfly and I am keeping it for safekeeping.

It doesn't guarantee an eternal life,
of bliss,
of fruitfulness.
It doesn't even guarantee a year of existence.

But it gives me hope,
of joy, to welcome the day,
It gave me a reason for today.

-

Bitterness isn't just a state of mind.
Bitterness is another word for revenge.
One day, bitterness will consume me, and take over my world.

All the things I didn't do.
All the things that made me unhappy.
All the things that caged me, wrapped me, stopped me.
All the things that bounded me, forbidden me, limited me.

All the things that I should have done.
All the things that I should have taken.
All the things that I should have said.
All the things that I wanted.
All the things that made me happy.

Everything will come to me.
In bitterness.
At the end of time.
At the end of all things.

But before I die, I will take revenge.
I will take every little thing that consumed me, all that bitterness inside, pile them together, and burn it down to ashes.

And then I'll watch you watch me.
The fire reflected in your eyes, and I'll hear your thoughts before me.
Maybe I'll even let you join me.

I will set a bonfire.
And it will be the mark of my happiness.
It will be my revenge.

I'll take what's mine.
And discard this life I borrowed.

There's a thin line keeping my sanity together.
Over the years, it didn't break;
It didn't rust.
It remained intact for my own purposes.

And then all of a sudden, a piece of metal broke through it.
Its cold surface mocked me;
belittled me.

A reminder that even a thin piece of thread,
bound to surpass ages,
had a weakness.

A blade can cut through everything when it pleases.
And it cut through me,
slicing my personality in two,
dividing my soul in half.
The good and the bad,
separating itself from my body,
unable to be whole,

ever again.

He the moon.
She the stars.
And I found myself,
stargazing,
admiring.

He the moon.
I, the sun.
And she found herself,
co-existing,
waiting.

She the stars.
I, the sun.
And we found ourselves,
understanding,
reasoning.

He and she.
Moon and star.
They found themselves,
assessing,
longing.

Whilst I,
The sun
They found me,
accepting,
with blessing.