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451 · Jan 2018
the cloud
abby Jan 2018
It's a cloud
A big bad scary cloud
I see it all the time
I feel it too
It's in my heart
In my stomach
In my head
It's deafening
I feel like i can't move
Cant speak
Can't think
I try to be productive
It's what i'm good at
But i just can't
I sit in my room
My laptop open
Watching something but not really watching
I tell myself i'll study
I'll do it tonight
Tomorrow
I don't
What if i fail
What if i don't get in
What will happen
I don't know
Can't know
But i think
My mind runs and runs
Until it stops under the cloud
I’m back in the calm lull of the cloud
Telling me to be quiet
telling me to sit there
Telling me not to care
But i do
I have to
I want to
I need to
The cloud shuts it out
The big bad scary cloud
And still nothing gets done
I look up at that cloud
That big bad scary cloud
Something happens
It starts to rain
And it rains
And it pours
And it rains again
Until.
It's gone
My big bad scary cloud is gone
And my fear along with it
It told me i’m not good enough
I am
It told me i’m not smart enough
I am
It told me i’m not strong enough
I am
I can do whatever it is that the world throws at me
I can do it because
I AM ENOUGH
292 · Jan 2018
you
abby Jan 2018
you
You look at me
Again
Your sad blue eyes
I look away
I can’t have you
She has you
240 · Jan 2018
more
abby Jan 2018
I'm staring into space
watching the snow
I see movement in the corner of my eye
it's you
your arm waving
You mouth something to me
I mouth something back
that's all we say
I wish for more
I wish for you
236 · Jan 2018
alex part 2
abby Jan 2018
It was the fourth of july
We were at the pool
Laughing and talking
We talked for 3 hours
Our friends were there too
It wasn’t a date
We went to your house
I schooled you at basketball
We laughed talked and flirted
I stole your hat
It looked better on me
235 · Jan 2018
life
abby Jan 2018
Life is like the weather
It is unpredictable
We always fail to predict it
So instead we must prepare for anything
For rain
For snow
For cold
For warmth
For love
For hate
For death
For life
And even with all these preparations
Life still catches us off guard
Life is like the weather
Always changing
One day im happy
The next im crying
Another in love
Still more i hate
Sometimes i have everything
Sometimes i have nothing
But one thing always remains the same
Life is like the weather
You cannot control it
204 · Jan 2018
alex part 1
abby Jan 2018
It all started when i texted you as a joke
I thought you wouldn’t respond
You did
You said i was hot
I figured it was a joke
It wasn’t
We started texting constantly
I even dragged my friend biking so i could meet up with you
When i fell you just sat there
You didn’t check if i was ok
I should have seen that and stopped right there
I didn’t
181 · Jan 2020
what is it about you
abby Jan 2020
What is it about you
That leaves me with a smile
That leaves me thinking about you
Even when i shouldn’t
Even when im busy
What is it about you
That has me checking my dms constantly
Waiting for you
And when the text arrives the change in my face
My attitude
Is instant
What is it about you
That makes me check our work schedule to make sure we have the same shift
Check to make sure ill get to see you
To talk to you
What is it about you
Well, i think i know
It's the smile on your face after you say something mean to me
Not meaning it, never meaning it
Saying it to get a reaction from me
One you know youll get
It's the way you talk to kids
The way you answer their questions no matter how stupid
It's the way you drop random **** into our conversations
It's “it's kinda what i like about you” hurled into dms
It's the way i know i shouldnt but i still do
181 · Jun 2018
angry
abby Jun 2018
im angry
so so angry
i wish i could do more
more than protest and write
i wish i could do more
more than learn and think
i could make the world a better place
I just don't know how
it makes me angry
so so angry
im angry
174 · May 2018
when i met you
abby May 2018
when i met you
my walls weakened to let you in
when you hurt me
the guards of the palace that is me pushed you out
now my walls are strong again
stronger than they were before
now they know not to let you in
172 · May 2018
alex part 3
abby May 2018
we finally had a real date
we were at my house
you kissed me
i didn't kiss you back
i should have told you to leave
i didn't
next week it happened again
that monday i decided that was enough
i ended it
i even laughed
it was a laugh of relief

— The End —