599

There is a pain—so utter—
It swallows substance up—
Then covers the Abyss with Trance—
So Memory can step
Around—across—upon it—
As one within a Swoon—
Goes safely—where an open eye—
Would drop Him—Bone by Bone.

1765

That Love is all there is,
Is all we know of Love;
It is enough, the freight should be
Proportioned to the groove.

Today I think
I saw a peculiar object on
the other side of the coal window—
a ghost perhaps. Quietly it stood,
still like my mouth. Now I’m combating
the quiet. I will soon speak, you see.

I will write loads this day.
Who knows if I’ll live to see an added day?
I’m no master of my life (don’t cry).
Just a folk. Nugatory. Eccentric. Queer.
I am. I just am. There’s no escape from that.  
Halt. She just came. She’ll not knock. No one does.
Already dizzy living this borrowed life.
Scars remain. Permanent. Just as precise as ever.
Therapy never works. I’ve not tried it though.
I hear plenty. I feel too. Once in a blue moon.
The shredding of outermost skin. Maybe to reach what I am.
I’ll only live when I’m dead. But this day. Today.
To not end it in a poem. Or death. I will truthfully say.
Tears are my comrades.
Unpleasant façade—dynasty.
Insecure feeling—hospice.
The closet feeling to death—my name.
Whisper it. Please.

there is always somebody or something
waiting for you,
something stronger, more intelligent,
more evil, more kind, more durable,
something bigger, something better,
something worse, something with
eyes like the tiger, jaws like the shark,
something crazier than crazy,
saner than sane,
there is always something or somebody
waiting for you
as you put on your shoes
or as you sleep
or as you empty a garbage can
or pet your cat
or brush your teeth
or celebrate a holiday
there is always somebody or something
waiting for you.

keep this fully in mind
so that when it happens
you will be as ready as possible.

meanwhile, a good day to
you
if you are still there.
I think that I am---
I just burnt my fingers on
this
cigarette.

1090

I am afraid to own a Body—
I am afraid to own a Soul—
Profound—precarious Property—
Possession, not optional—

Double Estate—entailed at pleasure
Upon an unsuspecting Heir—
Duke in a moment of Deathlessness
And God, for a Frontier.