the sun drips
like
a
yellow yolk

oozes
down
the gold knots
of my spine
breathe the first of Spring days
the radio plays our favorite song

i see you backwards
quickly
all the times we had
vulnerable;
gone.

the sky is blue, the lake is blue
your eyes are blu
and they say i look like your
sister
oh gods. help me
i can’t feel anything
except you
and everything here is you

I want my love for myself
To overflow
And I want my overflow of love
To seep over onto you
But for now
My cup is empty
And maybe you can sense
That I have nothing to offer you

You know all those songs you introduced me to?
All those songs we used to listen to together?
I still listen to them today
Even though you're long gone and I'm still stuck in the quicksand of our love.
It hurts, but it's okay.

The memories flood back to me and
I welcome them all wholeheartedly.
For it reminds me of better days
Where the blue from the oceans stood out more
The crimson hues of the sunsets painting your very being
Where your onyx eyes bore far away
Past me and our galaxies.

And I always asked you, 'what do you see?'
And although you never really told me I still thought it was perfect for it was so worthy of your attention.

Now that that's all over and you've blown yourself away like the sand on the rocks
I can't help but wonder though.
Amidst the waves you sailed away from me by
During the thunderstorms you know I sent you
Did you ever look back to me
To us?

Don’t seek love
You will learn
To be cold one day
Expect nothing from life
You will be disappointed
Wait for 'verse to deal her hand
That is plenty to get on with

Bold is hope
Its alchemy will mount an army
To lay siege
On stupid cognitive mind
Until you are sick
To the breaking bone
With life itself
Because it will never come

Stay real
Save Heartache
Art will make opaque
Fragile mind
To be given only in glances
From this moment onwards

When I give love freely
It is beautiful treason
To what is actually going on
This blissful unknowing
Corroding my reason to be

Free to exist without savouring
Acrid taste so sweet
Turned displeasing
Through violent epiphany
On the state of affairs

I, the fool
Do confuse progress
With feeling things
Au contraire
To the loneliness
I seem to process

I cannot be trusted
With handing out affection
So I will make it happen
With those I can love
Until the tension
Of this karmic lesson
Is lessened
Releasing these organs
To breathe what man does best

I may then build a mountain
Upon this omen
Move it on
With silent motion
To a fruiting body
For all to see
This is where my love will seep

Out of this copse
The sun shall creak
To drench those
I could have loved twice-fold
By chance, not plan
This way the universe can
Decide in its uncertain cold

To not seek love
One learns
This warmth
When one knows
How love is made
Then love will flow

I want a love so deep that
The Ocean is jealous.

I am still learning
how to be gentle and kind
in a world that is not mine,
where the flowers sway
in fields of golden solemnity
and the trees shake like a word
that wants to be said.

I am still learning
how to live in a place
where knowledge is but
a means to an end;
a point on the map
to be forgotten once you've
crossed into the blissful ignorance
of suburban accomplishment.

I am still learning
how to look at a sunrise
and feel more than this
transient melancholy
at a beauty that is held alone.
The thoughts that bloom
in exultance just to be borne
lie waiting, ripe with discontent
at the threshold of a room
where no one speaks the language.

I wish I could tell you of every
Passing thought I forgot
To write down
The ones that escape like Bobby pins
On a slick bathroom sink
Oh I wish you could know the same
Every phrase
All those days
That compiled together
Formed the rubber band ball at my center
Able to be stretched three hundred and forty seven miles
And still not snap
I wish you knew
All I thought of you