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210 · Jan 2019
with or without you
the black rose Jan 2019
i found strength where i once saw only weakness.
i found the words to say while everyone stayed speechless.
i stood abrasive in my fears,
i shed like one too many tears
but in the end i am stronger than before.
see, with or without you
i live on.
all of my willingness
to be in the mix
is gone.
i will not die without you here!
i am self-made
remember, dear?
i am not chasing what i possess within myself.
210 · Dec 2018
scar
the black rose Dec 2018
so confident in your incompetence.
embodying the most flawed,
inconsistent
form of existence
& you wear it so well like a second spine only fitting for you.
you are a perfect balance of
unyielding strength
& undefined weakness,
a mixture of beauty derived straight from the avengeful cosmos
& the
ugliness that settles the depth of the abyss.
you are clumsy &
you make a mess of everything you come in contact with
still
you are genuine in all of your oddness.
you make it clear that perfection is illusive,
holding your crown of thornes so proudly
that you make it easier to live.
209 · Feb 2019
eleven
the black rose Feb 2019
lucky number,
double digits
know you see them everywhere.
super-powers,
mystic being with the crinkles in her hair.
-
207 · Aug 2019
the evolution..
the black rose Aug 2019
everyday a new beginning,
clean slate.
a new direction,
a new chance to re-create.
to re-focus,
re-direct.
bring the growth back in effect.
re-consider
and protect,
re-claim grace.
MONTH 8 -
207 · Feb 2019
most of us
the black rose Feb 2019
most of us are fighting wars within ourselves;
& we project them onto people that are sent to be of help.
most of us are too busy,
most of us are too linear in the way we are living.
most of us want to love
but aren’t prone to forgiving.
most of us are full of pride,
most of us just run & hide.
most of us,
we know the truth
but we stay comfortable in lies.
most of us are everything that we despise.
207 · Apr 2021
flow vibrations
the black rose Apr 2021
are you even here?
were you ever here?
are you even clearing space?
where is this race taking you?
what words disrupt?
which words stand up hairs,
come in pairs?
free flow,
with no cares or no worries.
206 · Oct 2018
free-game
the black rose Oct 2018
i know myself to be weak yet i am still so strong.
i know myself to be violent, but i am still so soft.
i know myself to be creative, yet i am always bored.
so understanding yet i lack understanding...

i can remember every moment, every detail and yet, sometimes i misplace my thoughts and i start to forget.
one day my mind is at a pace that i always regret and then i’m numb to every feeling.
one day i search for healing..
one day i care, one day i can care less.
one day i soak in solitude, and silence gives its best.
one day i seek attention, can i keep your attention? i’m caught up re-inventing, creators best invention ..
it’s me!
i am a balance between what you do not want & all that you need.
you’ll find solace in my madness, i promise you’ll be glad though you’ll wish you never had that encounter with me.
don’t keep your distance, i am distant.
love me despite my high-resistance.
you’ll find your happiness consistent & your fears are non-existent.
they don’t exist with me.
we’ll chase some positive vibes,
& co-exist.
indeed, i want a love that loves me clumsy,
a love to rub up on me,
your manner rub off on me.
no matter what, you’ll love me?
❤️
words ❤️❤️❤️
205 · Jul 2019
gen y: the rare pokémon.
the black rose Jul 2019
you see me
stop,
and stare.
to none you can compare.
its like im barely there,
but im there…
-
you know...
misfit,
barely seen.
by choice,
not with the scene.
ill free your mind,
lets chase some dreams.
a race through time,
not what it seems to be.
with no desire
but to free
the self
from all ties in the low.
on the low
im getting by,
im moving slow.
im tryna grow...
204 · Aug 2019
journal entry #33
the black rose Aug 2019
only speak when im spoken to
and when im spoken through.
204 · Jun 2019
daughter of the moon.
the black rose Jun 2019
i speak my fate,
affirm my truth
and place my trust within you.
you charge me up,
you feed me love,
you bring my destiny too.
wether full or new,
waxing or wane;
you smile down at my ritual,
you bless me with gain.
you keep me company,
you know all of my secrets.
you let me fall apart
then gather all my pieces.
Lunar ♡
204 · Jan 2019
mariana
the black rose Jan 2019
with a depth of deception,
mysteriously vague.
only careless perceptions,
who dare to invade?
unexplored,
uninviting,
unfamiliar,
un-seen.
caressing riddled energies,
so powerful,
so keen.
inspired by me (ofc lol) & the mariana trench’
201 · Dec 2018
light
the black rose Dec 2018
when you’re lost in the wind,
i own the words to soothe your soul.
keep your diamonds,
i am worth far much more than gold.
inner peace, especially
you’ll find when you get near me
your fears alleviate.
you’ll see the unseen.
my aura is of essence,
my destiny derived
from the bloodline of creation.
i am creator,
in disguise.
you see the linger in my eyes.
you see all that you’ve been deprived.
i am the truth.
i see fulfillment in my youth.
simple blessings,
i am simply blessed.
when i am lagging i just catch my breath.
a certain healing in the wind,
a certain power from within.
a flower from the earth,
a flame you can’t put out.
more power to the earth,
reveal all you are about.
a soul with depth of oceans,
light energy waves in motion.
so calm,
silent devotion,
a dose of magic potion.
...
200 · Jan 2019
Ataya
the black rose Jan 2019
you’re my bestfriend,
like a side-kick made perfectly for me.
you’ve seen the deepest parts,
beneath the skin
like no one else can see.
i carried you inside,
& now my soul remains outside.
a fairy,
fearless,
magical,
unique
sent here to guide.
-
i call you daughter,
i call you light,
i call you healer of the sight.
i call you queen
my heart your throne,
i call you spirit of the moon.
being with more meanings than one,
a product far beyond the sun.
you were created out of mercy
to remind me of a love.
-
to spread and
teach the world on how to smile again.
you are my friend,
a keeping love until the end.
long as you’re here
ill be alright,
ill keep on smiling,
keep the fight.
you are my friend
& ill love you til the end.
❤️❤️
198 · Dec 2018
the ghost of sinners past.
the black rose Dec 2018
each day i struggle to stay alive;
the war inside of me has outstayed it’s welcome.
the ghost of my past derides every step i make.
so needy.
always seeking attention
still
you never have anything to offer,
but you hold high the audacity to take all that does not belong to you.
like happiness.
you see me smiling and bombard my concious mind with a million reasons why i don’t deserve to smile.
i have been trying to silence you but i am finding that there is no silencing.
you exist for a reason i may soon understand.
without you
i may never understand.
12.17.18
195 · Jan 2019
district 12
the black rose Jan 2019
seeking escape from a world
that thrives on my pain.
main focus is a focus
that drives me insane.
i can’t be still,
my mind is anxious,
my soul is erupting.
the most illogical of impulse
making something of nothing.
-
i only exist inside,
where i never have to hide.
i’m never running from my actions,
never cancelling my pride.
resisting all that works against me,
no borders
or no fencing,
no offensive use of power can control.
no being similar,
persona young or old.
a living proof of distant energy,
words circulate the remedy
for all that can restart a dying peace.
❤️ take what you need!
195 · Feb 2019
the mirror effect
the black rose Feb 2019
put so much trust in man and mirrors
to determine how we look,
they fed us pride and ego ****
& look at how they got us hooked.
materialistic beings,
strip you naked
what you worth?
base your value on a purse
or some shoes
or some weave,
willingly alter your appearance
then you say that looks deceive.
i just think that you’re in need of
something to believe in.
-
won’t take it deeper cause it’s all so simple
the only place you need a mirror is your mental.
so caught in features that were created to destroy you.
message from Mother Earth  
and i am here to warn you.
..ERA series.
194 · Jul 2020
hope
the black rose Jul 2020
hope is becoming unreasonable,
or atleast the way it is perceived.
-
like using hope as a crutch to stay wading in the waters
while tuned in to outside sources
then asking “what do i do?”...
it is only you who can respond with accuracy to self-query.
-
align hope with imagination
& pretend play.
use the energy to guide you like a sensei.
wei wu wei til source say go,
then level-up,
still take it slow
still stay aware of total-body,
you are here.
journals n' **** series - journal entry 4
193 · May 2019
only love can heal.
the black rose May 2019
if theres one thing thats real,
its that true love can heal
& reveal all you've locked up inside
& concealed.
to fall into arms that dismiss insecurities & inferiorities;
re-shifting priorities.
renewing hearts & souls,
taking on the roles of mystic healers,
anti-depressant dealers.
a change in demeanor,
when you feel her.
its like the pieces scattered
piece themselves together.
& nothing even matters,
for a moment or forever.
-
all that you need in this life of sin;
to find a love to take you deep within.
love.
191 · Nov 2018
evol
the black rose Nov 2018
whisper in my ear.
tell me the things i like to hear.
tell me all the things you’ve never said before.
say that you’re ok with me being this way,
say that you accept me as i am.
-
cause im not changing,
im only ranging .
i am who i am.
you are who you are,
and im not judging.
so love me with your all or love me nothing.
love me when i fall,
& when im bluffing.
would you still love me if i didn’t know how to love you?
or would your clouded judgement block the window of a good view?
would you love me if i lied?
will you still love me when i cry?
or would you give up..say goodbye?
i tried.
...
190 · Aug 2019
me vs me
the black rose Aug 2019
as far as contentment goes,
im losing sight.
im going mad,
ensuring everything is right.
and what is right?
right?
-
see, its a battle of the
ego vs self...
-
ego wants the linear,
self wants the lesser.
ego wants a challenge,
ego folds when under pressure.
self wants ascension,
minimal attention.
self wants what's pure.
and the ego wants what's sure.
-
self says to "be still"
while the ego says "compete",
if they cant work together,
will i ever be complete?
-
but,
in the end,
it works out.
in the end they work together,
in harmony and balance.
now as one,
they live forever.
190 · Dec 2018
unf*ck yourself
the black rose Dec 2018
too much of this,
not enough of that.
too much focus
on what you lack.
face what you fear,
don’t turn your back.
be still,
when enemies attack.
-
this is a new era.
maybe if you knew better,
you would do better.
-
it’s all the same.
be careful of the things you say
& what you entertain.
perception makes the sane,
seemingly insane.
a quiet storm,
before it turns into a hurricane.
rarely see a rainbow in the sky
after the rain.
-
it makes you think.
when you connect the dots,
you’ll find that you’re the missing link.
make your next move in a silence
or your ship will surely sink.
true elevation is my destiny
& i am at the brink.




-
(:
189 · Dec 2018
another poem
the black rose Dec 2018
**** off the innocence
or the inner sins
where the guilty conscience
drinks guilt tea
consciously.
tirelessly preying on the
timeless.
time is tired.
sinking in the expired
           ..i am so uninspired.
188 · Jun 2018
sadtruth
the black rose Jun 2018
you speak about hope..
but do you really have any?
how do you see a better future
when the vision is blurred for so many?
you seek change,
you wish to see unity,
& you want better for your people.
but do your people want better for themselves?
                                 the sad truth:
you cannot save the world, my d
                                                       e
                                                             a
                                                                 r.
                                                       you can only save yourself.
188 · Mar 2019
all hail
the black rose Mar 2019
im so willing,
i know that i am able
to accomplish anything.
i am so stable.
im never tripping on the things that keep attention these days.
my only focus is directed,
only focus on ways that keep me balanced.
my mystery is talent.
my magical ability is coming from the inner-me.
no condecendant enemy can overthrow my entity.
not fearless,
not in worry.
not doubting,
in my glory.
im here to tell the story of a queendom fall from grace.
dismissing every ego,
putting truth back in its place.
my presence is an impulse,
no common threats or insults.
keep your envy away.
187 · Jun 2018
twenty1ne.
the black rose Jun 2018
like wine, i get better with time!
i am growing.
maturing, becoming wiser.
& i am eager to experience this chapter of my life.
5 years ago i was still a seed,
i was innocent,
oblivious,
in my prime.
there is so much beauty in being a seed.
6 years later...
i am celebrating not only 21 years of life,
but 21 years of growth.
i am no longer a seed, i am a beautiful flower.
i've blossomed.
i am everything i never thought i was capable of being.
& this is only the beginning.
i am happy, i am healthy, i am creative!
i am open-minded, strong, passionate,
i am genuine & understanding.
my fears have alleviated.
i am love, i know love.
i am blessed, i have hope & i am aware that everything i need to become the best version of myself lies within me & has always been there.
i am far from where i want to be but i am exactly where i need to be.
i am also far from where i was & that in itself gives me every reason to be grateful.
i am thanking God daily for the process, which is me.
cheers to being stronger & wiser, to understanding that life is what you make it, so ill make every moment of my life exactly what i want it to be.
#geminiszn #9plus10
tmmrw is my 21st birthdayyyy ***!!! I AM AGING, in the most beautiful way possible. growth is hard, its not always sunflowers & giggles, but it is so ******* beautiful. the universe is definitely on my side. i am blessed, i am grateful beyond words.
187 · Jul 2019
journal entry #27
the black rose Jul 2019
do i want financial freedom?
or freedom from this place
where they strip away my sanity
then throw it in my face.
-
do i want to live forever?
or disintegrate into the depths,
beyond illusions,
posing threats
as i wander through what's next.
186 · Jul 2019
journal entry #24
the black rose Jul 2019
self love is the best love.
self love is enough love.
186 · Aug 2019
journal entry #29
the black rose Aug 2019
why do i fall in love so hard?
185 · Nov 2018
reactions
the black rose Nov 2018
attention is expensive to pay,
not moved by the things that you say.
you feel a way,
it’s okay.
-
secure in the thought of not needing nobody,
but i be wanting somebody.
someone strong & passionate,
who can challenge the fear
of the unknown & the reality of what is right here.
someone kind and complacent
not weak and abrasive.
no words that can take him,
even if i do say so myself.
-
you’re the one and i see that,
& my reaction is a react.
not a distraction,
it’s a relapse.
... relapse.
185 · Sep 2019
5.
the black rose Sep 2019
5.
face your judgement,
you’re in question.
run for cover,
seek protection if you want
but this is destined.
-
wash us clean,
wipe away all signs of weakness.
-
its on purpose that you are here,
placing all in account.
no matter where you run and hide,
no matter age or amount.
-
who dare fall back into old ways of being?
185 · Nov 2018
..
the black rose Nov 2018
..
pay attention to the signs.
stay and listen,
you will find that the war is in your mind.
& you’re running out of time.
so spread love & be kind.
❤️
184 · Nov 2018
Untitled
the black rose Nov 2018
silently fighting the demons from my past,
a constant fight in my mind,
a battle i can’t outlast.
it’s so amusing how hurt can hurt for so long.
how it has proven me weak,
even when i feel strong.
183 · Jul 2019
journal entry #23
the black rose Jul 2019
everything is on time.
everything is in time.
182 · Apr 2021
energy vamp
the black rose Apr 2021
here's an ode to midnight drains and
dreams suffocated by pointless comparison
amongst rare forms of being.
in a world of misfits,
comparison steals all joy.
-
in a world of misfits,
who cares if only 1% can relate to the comprehension of
dark & light,
as whole.
who cares when soul outweighs modern roles
played by vamps,
getting hype while you drain.
-
i take hype in doses,
to help me to 'loosen up' at pity parties
where i'd dance if 3D grounds were stable.
but my energy, is it dead?
is it still dying
as i continue to realize my own sense of aliveness?
182 · Feb 2019
i want to live
the black rose Feb 2019
i want a beautiful life filled with beautiful people.
ones that see the world for what it truly is & what it can possibly become again.
i want to greet fears with grins and laughter
& overcome the greatest obstacles with a heart that shows gratitude through its will to live.
i want to have wise, amazing, genius children that carry in them the dna of everything that i stand for.
i want to grow with them.
i want to fall madly in and out of love with someone that makes every inch of pain feel so worth it that i won’t even notice it hurts.
who makes all of my days seem so short that it’s unreasonable.
a love that holds me tight as i slowly die in its arms.
i want a life partner that understands life challenges,
who teaches me by simply being.
who’s not territorial or completely obsessive,
& has more honor and respect than expectations.
fairytale ending or tragedy,
i just want to live on the edge of every possibility.
mad or completely insane,
it’s all the same.
i just want to live.
IG: @lashwrites
181 · Jun 2018
12 play.
the black rose Jun 2018
your words sound good but do you really mean them?
you act unruffled to hoes,
but i swear its like you need them.
you love the thought of me alone but you won't ever leave them.

funny, you said you want me..
& tho i kept it real you found it hard to trust me.
& now you frontin' other girls thinking that its gon' hurt me.
but what happens if i hurt you?
i have careless ways that can hurt too.
i have things that i can do that can make you revert to
who you are afraid of becoming again.
i told you you were bluffing, we were better as friends.
but you still went so far out of your way to pretend.

saw straight through your lies,
why you lied?
claim that you were different.
but you're the same as any guy,
any guy that lies,
just another ***** in disguise.
conceal my cries.
cause i won't shed a tear for you.
hope them hoes be there for you,
hope they love & care for you.

you so shady & you swear that you a real *****,
let me jab at your ego,
you aint **** lets keep it real *****.
i was the only real you knew,
bet you regret playing games
like i regret falling for you.
26.6.18
180 · Sep 2018
13.9
the black rose Sep 2018
as i plant my seeds of promise, my journey has just begun.
with blessings over flowing in years and years to come.
though they are only waiting, what’s waiting will be found;
so bask in the glory,
enjoy what’s here and now
motivation ❤️
179 · Feb 2021
masc-u-nine
the black rose Feb 2021
like beaches flow into river sides,
you can follow me anytime.
like masculine & feminine join ties
to conquer time
& cover tracks,
mixed up in lines of no shame.
=
eternal interplay,
at this stage of the game.
what's waiting for us?
how much time do we have?
is this just for now
or forever?
=
use words to empower,
go up hill & seek stillness,
everyday.
its apart of the journey.
179 · Dec 2018
taking it slow.
the black rose Dec 2018
should i love
or should i leave it
i don’t know.
-
should i drown in hope
or should i let it go.
-
im tripping but
you’re out of reach,
it doesn’t show.
-
so ill just save myself,
ill just take it slow.
-
just let it flow.
... i miss him :(
178 · Sep 2019
journal update
the black rose Sep 2019
hit the vape,
now im in space.
im having urges to escape
and there are new feels
in place of the old.
there's no trace
or scent of my role as hero,
my highest ground is zero.
ive rested and still
i went from writing ten pages
to none,
im trying to run
but the forces wont let me,
they guide and protect me.
they'll make you respect me if you dare to disrepect me..
177 · Mar 2020
drain
the black rose Mar 2020
take it or leave it,
or take it then leave it...
-
they'll take everything from you,
leave you empty,
empty-handed
& you'd let them...
because they're appealing to your mind,
in its lowest state;
you find interest in what's behind
but never knowing true face.
my dear,
be careful who you allow in your space.
177 · Jun 2018
the Garden.
the black rose Jun 2018
flowers are dying,
because flowers need light.
they are lacking guidance,
& they are losing sight.
the buds of today are the flowers of tomorrow,
will you lend out a light,
or nutrients to borrow.
give them a chance to bloom,
& to blossom.
world full of balsam,
they deserve to grow.
the flowers of today are withering, i say
can we **** out the damage, to pave a better way.
can't keep them in the shade,
or hide from them the truth.
our future is in their hands.
our future is our youth.
#TheGardenProject coming soon. xox
175 · May 2018
'real$hit
the black rose May 2018
wondering why he ain't love you like you loved him,
but babygirl he never loved you, you just loved him.
you saw potential,
looks can be decieving.
you say he good but why this ***** so misleading?
all the i love you's, the future you done planned.
got you looking crazy,
you played right into his hands.
life on pause, what's the cause?
yo mind & body all fcked up,
gave birth to a baby.
tryna hold a ***** down who been acting shady.
i feel bad for you baby.
is this love?
is this what you been searching for?
you knew better, you knew whether you wanted less or more.
now you don't wanna love,
don't wanna trust,
or nothing.
heart cold as **** but all the ****** think you bluffing,
think you playing hard to get,
but you just trying hard to get
away.
you could tell 'em how you feel,
but you can't find the words to say.
see when you love someone,
when you in love so young,
that **** can change you.
when that someone didn't love you back,
that's the **** that changed you.
overtime that pain grew.
& you don't even smile the same,
**** that ***** changed you.

how you love yourself when the only person you loved don't even love you?
i hope you learn your lesson.
never put NO ONE above you.
let that ***** kiss & hug you,
fall deep into the words he say.
you ain't even realized
its just a game these ****** play,
to try to make you stay.
but babygirl he ****** up,
cause the thing that had you ****** up, got you on your **** now.
& you ain't tryna slip now,
on top & you won't get down.
forced you to pull yourself together,
& now you live like, its whatever.
& ****, you only getting better.
while he be out here looking bitter,
with some ***** that ain't 'bout nothing,
he be out here fake stuntin'
following trends,
following friends.
still the same ***** that you left there.
still try to show him better but he don't care.
cause it's money on his mind,
& weak ******* on his line.
he ain't realize,
that there's bigger **** to focus on.
nobody to paint him the bigger picture so his focus wrong.
but you fine & you know that,
so sublime & he know that.
steady wishing he could go back,
& make **** right.
but its too late.
ooou, i felt this one. s\o to all my ladies that let dat hurt goooo **'
174 · Jun 2019
12:12
the black rose Jun 2019
curled up,
eyes shut
with my back facing reality.
go unnoticed til you seek a source of
mutable mentality.
then you glimpse me at the corner of your eyes;
on accident,
on purpose,
by surprise?
or maybe by coincidence.
in a state,
sinking in a sunken place
eager to stand still
but the world, it never waits..
174 · Nov 2018
dark is the new light.
the black rose Nov 2018
i tried to chase happiness.
but i find comfort in the opposite.
i find comfort in a state of, nothingness.
positively speaking,
i am positive
that i belong to the darkness.
& darkness isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

i value sadness,
i love to see happiness in the hearts of those i love.
but my heart says that’s enough,
too much peace, it’s had enough.
chaos is what it feeds on.
no rainbows after the rain gone.
only scars after the pain.
even with love, it’s still the same.

ill love the love that loves my darkest days.
that never tries to find new ways,
to change who i am.
i am who i am.
i smile at a full moon,
i laugh amongst the stars.
& i find the greatest things in life
formed from my darkest scars.
my darkened heart needs love too.
in dark ways,
my dark view.
173 · Nov 2018
fit in.
the black rose Nov 2018
oddly enough,
i am oddly out of touch with this world.
i am weak & i am stuck in a whirl.
it’s love i seek,
but hate i find.
the raging anger makes me blind.
i am so lost and out of time.
-
they say do good and good comes back,
& ive been good yet still i lack.
maybe i should forget it all.
no one is here, no one to call,
to pick me up on days i fall.
im not enough.
-
173 · Aug 2019
gypsy.
the black rose Aug 2019
wandering through mystery,
i can't seem to stand still.
im everywhere,
seeking thrill and all that's mad
or
halfway there...
173 · Nov 2019
-
the black rose Nov 2019
-
im taking drugs like im taking breaths,
staying alive is harder than i expected.
172 · Sep 2019
restrictions..
the black rose Sep 2019
your access to the presence of the gods has been denied.
your weapons cannot prosper,
they may form,
i know you've tried.
172 · Aug 2019
journal entry #31
the black rose Aug 2019
knowledge goes 3 ways:
under-stand then you may never over-stand.
over-stand then you shall always inner-stand.
to inner-stand is to stand on the grounds
of what's true to the core,
the truth from what's pure.
no questions,
you are sure.
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