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~
the black-rose Feb 2019
~
i would be lying if i said  i have clear sighting of what’s to come next..
im walking blindly.
without a care.
without fear.
without needing anyone to be here.
if it destroys me then ill die knowing that i stood firm,
by myself.
for myself.
without your help.
you won’t bring me to my knees.
you’re what i want
not what i need.
random
-
the black-rose Nov 2019
-
im taking drugs like im taking breaths,
staying alive is harder than i expected.
..
the black-rose Nov 2018
..
i have days i am blank.
i have days all i do is write.
..
the black-rose Sep 2018
..
like the scars from the cuts to my wrists with razor blades, the deciders of my fate, these emotions are faint.. but still here.
..
the black-rose Nov 2018
..
pay attention to the signs.
stay and listen,
you will find that the war is in your mind.
& you’re running out of time.
so spread love & be kind.
❤️
..
the black-rose Jan 2019
..
i see no point in investing my energies where they are not appreciated or understood.
i will not tirelessly try to make my presence known when there is not a spec of effort to acknowledge.
i have no interest in stroking dying egos
or watering plants that are complacent in their withering.
i will not make a space for what intentionally brings me to my knees, no matter the emptiness i suffer.
-
alone or accompanied,
i am living.
free & fearlessly,
wearing armor made of distance.
moving carelessly,
no regrets
& no resistance.
still
you are not worthy,
but you are who you are.
()
the black-rose Feb 2015
()
i hear brontide as she calls your name,
a lover that she is undeserving of.
too monotonous,
she could never make your soul wonder..

of course she was beautiful,
but what you wanted was beauty beneath the surface.
she was no fit for you, a King.
she was a quean, you needed a Queen.
but you stayed, why?

i have cryptoscopophyllia but, to your soul.
she wanted to just love you,
i wanted to destroy you with the complexity of my love for you..
darling, why are you settling?

you cannot be apprehensive,
we are of the same unique animating principle,
yet in the end we are nothing more than love and space dust.
fallen in love with writing, honestly.. i hope you enjoy every single one of my pieces. xo
btw, i **** at picking titles.. lol
$
the black-rose Nov 2018
$
9 to 5,
i survive.
i don’t live but im alive.
i still give though im deprived.
-
i hold my head high,
& keep my dreams low.
my talents are like secrets,
no one can know.
-
more money in the clubs,
more money on materials.
more money on more money,
still we lack.
it’s irreal.
splurging
*
the black-rose Dec 2018
*
i want your arms on my body
wrapped tight
close knit.
i want to feel you inside me
so deep
perfect fit.
allow your tongue to explore me
as my lips keep you company
all of my fears have erased
i want to feel you on top of me.
*
the black-rose Nov 2018
*
i am open.
on the surface.
i hide my feelings on purpose.
people say that im heartless,
i say that im hardened to hurt less.
i do not fear a broken heart,
those are battles i have conquered.
i seek the solace and comfort.
i am open.
the black-rose Mar 2019
the sound of your voice lingers through my body at midnight;
and your smile is an image my mind cannot erase.
i keep checking my phone to see if i missed a call from you.
i still dream of you.
i still pray for you.
im still wishing on a star that it could all just work out.
deb
10D
10D
doors opened to the tenth dimension,
the god in me knows
i've earned it...
-
obstacles throw themselves at me,
testing my patience
& im learning
to trust the timing...
the urge to be loved is slowly turning me savage.
the black-rose Jan 2019
11:11,
with heads to the heavens
i preach words of the holy one
like i am a reverend.
i speak words into the universe,
i am aware & i know,
that my faith is decider
of how far i go.
my mind is a weapon,
my love is a drug,
my soul has the depth of the oceans.
my creator accepting,
sends love from above,
bringing all the good vibes into motion.
im playing it close with my friends from the other side,
im channeling most
and joke about where i should be most cautious.
the black-rose May 2018
i know you see the light, though its dim.
product of lies, coated in sin.
afraid to reveal what's within.
the truth is near,
the truth is here.

don't alter my reality,
or fill me with your insanity.
you hide things from me,
but i am here to say.
i am the truth, i know the way.
20 years later, trying to understand.
what am i? what is hu-man?
is there more to me?
is there more to see?

oh, earth. what have they done to you?
creatures of the earth, what did they do?
out of touch with nature,
too in touch with mankind.
too programmed to re-focus,
too ignorant, too blind.
why do i feel like im living a lie?

i seek truth, & the more i seek the less i discern.

greater a creation than what you see.
great is the creator, in you & me.
find your way, find your truth.
find your light, find your youth.
the black-rose Jul 2019
im filled with god-energy,
im moving with the speed
and the seeds ive been sowing
are harvesting and growing.
my true colors are showing,
im gleaming,
glaring,
        glowing.
the black-rose Jun 2019
curled up,
eyes shut
with my back facing reality.
go unnoticed til you seek a source of
mutable mentality.
then you glimpse me at the corner of your eyes;
on accident,
on purpose,
by surprise?
or maybe by coincidence.
in a state,
sinking in a sunken place
eager to stand still
but the world, it never waits..
the black-rose Jun 2018
your words sound good but do you really mean them?
you act unruffled to hoes,
but i swear its like you need them.
you love the thought of me alone but you won't ever leave them.

funny, you said you want me..
& tho i kept it real you found it hard to trust me.
& now you frontin' other girls thinking that its gon' hurt me.
but what happens if i hurt you?
i have careless ways that can hurt too.
i have things that i can do that can make you revert to
who you are afraid of becoming again.
i told you you were bluffing, we were better as friends.
but you still went so far out of your way to pretend.

saw straight through your lies,
why you lied?
claim that you were different.
but you're the same as any guy,
any guy that lies,
just another ***** in disguise.
conceal my cries.
cause i won't shed a tear for you.
hope them hoes be there for you,
hope they love & care for you.

you so shady & you swear that you a real *****,
let me jab at your ego,
you aint **** lets keep it real *****.
i was the only real you knew,
bet you regret playing games
like i regret falling for you.
26.6.18
the black-rose Sep 2018
as i plant my seeds of promise, my journey has just begun.
with blessings over flowing in years and years to come.
though they are only waiting, what’s waiting will be found;
so bask in the glory,
enjoy what’s here and now
motivation ❤️
still searching for more to say...
will i ever under-stand,
inner-stand,
or
over-stand this?
i remember smashing windows & starting fights to prove my love,
while you stand there watching me make a mess of whom i thought that i was.
like the 'what' we could've had
& all exchange was mediocre;
coulda' done better,
man i wish we were genuine.
here we go again lol.
the black-rose Aug 2019
in company of stars,
i hear the songs of the wind.
its 2am,
i should be resting
but there’s movement
here within.
sending gratitude and praises to the heavens,
i am here.
my mud is close to settled,
and my vision starts to clear.
though i rise and fall,
though sometimes i may stall
im in alignment with the universal,
one and all.
GITF
3.
the black-rose Oct 2019
3.
of course id see it different,
everything is different on the inside.
looking out from the inside,
looking out for what's inside because
what's within is what's without...
-
its a secret society
built on trust and mutuality
all we got is us and all we got is everything
because everything is everything.
-
the black-rose Aug 2019
mind,
body
and
spirit.
the all-encompassed trinity.
from 1 came 2,
and from 2
came divinity.
3pm
the black-rose Apr 2019
3pm
this is not the time
or the place.
i am out of time,
its a race
for sanity.
essence depicting vanity
but you are fake.
a being misplaced in a room full of open locks
and broken clocks.
searching for your place
and kicking rocks.
bare-feeted,
so the earth fuels you up
but you never notice.
you are so out of touch.
you are chasing everything that you already are;
so close but were you really that far?
the black-rose Jun 2019
the great mother has awakened,
she feels neglected and forsaken;
she's reclaiming
all you've taken.
all her children are awaking
to the essence
and the nature of creator.
earth is preparing for a time,
the force is greater.
-
with suns returning,
the dark moon is wading.
land masses rising,
and history fading.
-
you feel the heat of all the
energies increasing,
we've reached the end of
false doctrines and teachings.
corruption and society shall fall by the hands
of the goddesses and gods,
the healers of the land.
unity,
duality,
the truth in mythicality
shall merge into one.
when all is said
and all is done;
the true rulers of the land will stand tall,
never again to waver,
never again to fall.
-
welcome to the age of Aquarius.
time is winding down..
the black-rose Apr 2019
i sit and wonder how.
i often wonder why.
is this world only illusion
draw conclusions in the sky.
making shapes out of the clouds,
sharing poetry with trees.
bare-foot,
***** headed,
wind surrounding
bringing ease
to my worries.
the birds,
they listen to my stories.
they often speak back.
pure abundance,
no lack.
variety a plenty.
full of life,
never empty.
but i am empty
when i do not visit,
much rather stay in-doors.
so eager to explore
yet still afraid.
more so amazed
at your stillness
and your will
to carry on
so firm and strong.
holding the key
to nature's song.
i call you tree,
but you are me.
you are all i wish to be.
you are all i wish to see.
4am
the black-rose Dec 2018
4am
is it 4am?
cause these thoughts are slurring,
these steps are stirring,
my heart is heavy,
fear
re-occurring.

i am lonely,
i am in love.
fading on trees,
chaotic drugs.
my inner-demons
they need a hug.
a growing love.
4am no longer calls;
am i unsatisfied with the peace i've found?
was the chaos
my driving force?
sometimes i feel lost without it.
-
its different now,
its silent.
still dark,
no longer violent.
the black-rose Feb 2015
hello 4am,
we meet again..
but do you have to be so rasping?
drowning in my thoughts,
they want me to give in..
im nazlanmak.

mono no aware

reminding me of my Erlebnisse.
am i lonely or in love?
which one is worse?

i am an enternitarian.
i help me to live another day,
so 4am you will not be the decider of my fate.

i am druxy, indeed..
but do you have to rub it in?
will we ever get along?
are you interested?

4am you are franching at my soul,
eating at my being
& i can never be of eunoia
.. because of you
the black-rose Oct 2018
don’t get so lost in all your struggles that you forget about your dreams;
don’t let what’s temporary phase you, cause life is more than what it seems.
don’t let your happiness be determined by the income you receive,
& know that all good things in life are yours if you can just believe ✨
5.
the black-rose Sep 2019
5.
what will you do without social connections
or material possessions?
without the food source
and food stores that cater to convenience but **** you slowly..
when will you realize your thoughts and habits,
they wreak havoc…
-
systems are falling,
what is strong will survive.
judgement is here and
no one man alive will escape her,
you’re in face of the mother of the nature of the earth.
5.
the black-rose Sep 2019
5.
face your judgement,
you’re in question.
run for cover,
seek protection if you want
but this is destined.
-
wash us clean,
wipe away all signs of weakness.
-
its on purpose that you are here,
placing all in account.
no matter where you run and hide,
no matter age or amount.
-
who dare fall back into old ways of being?
5D
the black-rose Dec 2018
5D
soo much positive vibes,
im elevating
to peace of mind,
im evolving.
i free my mind in a higher place.
i need my time,
i need my space.
i am sublime,
can’t find a trace of me,
anywhere.
i am only here.
i am light & love,
sowing seeds of ever promise.
ill make you aware,
help you to see the seeds you’ve harvest.
its not a lover i need to fulfill my desires,
it is a partner consistent in growing through the madness
and only seeing its potential.
the black-rose Nov 2018
i am a perky little,
quirky little,
misjudged little wild flame.
i am a fairytale believing,
pain relieving flower from the earth.
i am from a planet where we,
we do not even see
just how blessed we can be.
we don’t see the values,
we misuse our energy.
& we are crying out,
when we should be crying in...

there is a light way up above,
way up above
the universe, it shows me love.
yeah, i am love.
random
the black-rose Dec 2018
i took your criticism,
turned it to a win.
you can control the world,
but not what’s here within.
i am too soul,
because of that i always win.
my heart gets cold,
the world is darker than my skin.
the black-rose Feb 2019
they say im so silent.
i say no one ever listens anyway..
the black-rose Nov 2018
i make strangers of the people i meet.
i make enemies of the ones i love..
the black-rose Dec 2018
who says that storms can’t be beautiful?
the black-rose Feb 2015
here's to a la mort of a love that can never be,
a outrance of feelings that never got to be expressed.
i hate that my heart is so refractory,
how can i be in love with someone i know nothing about?

never seen you yet somehow i've seen you,
never spoken to you yet i've had numerous conversations about you..
i want to enodate my thoughts onto the canvas that is your heart,
but how can i?

you're probably in love with a lightskin beauty,
but is there any room for a caramel skinned Queen?
or will i be too much of a challenge,
too much of something too brilliant?

my feelings for you are pygalgia,
please darling allow me the chance
to search your soul & find the most unappealing things,
but love you anyway...

you're soul is too ostrobogulous for a quean,
may my being coruscate in the very darkest place of your heart.
til you realize your soul's worth,
til you realize yupukta my love.
for one of my readers..
the black-rose Dec 2018
there is attitude as strong as my own in these kinks and these coils,
my Afro has a mind of its own.
she stands tall when she wants,
shrivel up when she’s cold.
sometimes shy,
she is not a people person.
my Afro only communicates with other Afros.
she ain’t stingy but she **** sure don’t like to be touched.
don’t you try to sweet talk her
when she’s in a rush.
only like a wash & oils.
sometimes gel and finger coils.
she’s amazing,
i love my twa.
the black-rose Nov 2019
my spirit calls
and
my spirit speaks through writings on walls.
-
im still chained to third dimension,
it keeps me lowly.
im still caught up,
my attention is on all
that kills me slowly.
i thought that this was holy grounds,
now the grounds have divided.
somethings happening beneath the ground,
new stars have been ignited.
-
"ive never seen this much stars"...
i can say the very same.
the time is only here and now,
the earth has made her claim.
monsters caged,
curfews placed on the dead,
no more play.
no more roads to travel miles down,
no smoke,
no more fumes to travel miles down your throat,
your reign has ended.
-
mass energy reset,
restoration & balance.
the black-rose Dec 2018
am i too old to fall back into the feelings i felt in my younger years?
am i too grown to take a razor to my wrist,
to dismiss all of my fears.
what a chilling reunion that would be.
am i too old to fall apart?
i am too old to not have my **** together.
at 21, depression is mindset.
**** it up at 21.
you wore sadness so well at 14,
15,
16,
17,
18,
19,
20.
it’s getting old, give it up.
sadness never lasts that long,
ignore the voices in your head,
you’re a big girl,
move on.
though my demons never went away,
i simply got used to them poking at my heart,
taunting my mind,
mocking my progress.
how far am i behind?
the black-rose Mar 2019
im so willing,
i know that i am able
to accomplish anything.
i am so stable.
im never tripping on the things that keep attention these days.
my only focus is directed,
only focus on ways that keep me balanced.
my mystery is talent.
my magical ability is coming from the inner-me.
no condecendant enemy can overthrow my entity.
not fearless,
not in worry.
not doubting,
in my glory.
im here to tell the story of a queendom fall from grace.
dismissing every ego,
putting truth back in its place.
my presence is an impulse,
no common threats or insults.
keep your envy away.
the black-rose Feb 2015
allow me the opportunity to show you something new,
something better, something real.. something that you're not used to.
allow me to explore you, get to know you better.
adopt your vitality, make you feel like a King.
let me show you that love can really mean something...
when mind feels threatened,
it sends out signals to the guards
to stand upright
& look aware,
as if we aren't already far gone enough.
-
i know,
its your job to protect and defend,
so i can practice as much of the zen
as i allow;
mind will do what it must.
higher language,
sacred energy
exchanged through vibes & frequencies.
-
signs & symbols of the alchemist,
all seen actions now unseen.
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