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what is worth writing
when the thoughts come for identity
only true being
is all
that is actually written
if you can smile
as you pull the knife
out of your back
and choke down the blood
you coughed up,

does that mean you’ve grown
strong enough

or inhuman enough?
At times  I find myself blocked.
Stopped, unable to move forward.
Standing still, as the days pass me by.

Lost dreams, lost hopes.
Lost loves, lost friends,
Lost parents, siblings and children.
Lost heart, Lost soul.

Enter, exit, enter again and turn left
Or was it right?
May I go forward? Stop and  await.
Do this! Don't do that!
They are wrong. We are right!
Over manipulated. Over controlled.
Enough!!!! No more!!!

Watching loved ones leave
Never to return again.
Broken hearted,
Longing throbbing pain.

So easily distracted by appetite
The smells and enticing words
"Massaman curry with rice with spring rolls
A slice of cheese, with date or olive
Lost in tasting, numb in feeling....
Eating myself into the land of oblivion
Drifting, floating, never to return.

It came quickly!
The rain fell hard in my summer!
Can you see us?
Everyone in their own storm.
Oh, please be still my restless soul.

Watching "them" drawing up schemes
Complaining maneuvers and attacks
Smiling smugly, together
under their "justified" umbrella.
I turned my energy away.

The wind continues to blow
And the rain continues to fall
Do I give into despair?
Or take courage to persevere?  
Courage my friend.  
A  glorious choice, courage!

Moving gracefully through the storm
Calm stillness begins
Facing the sun
The shadows fell behind me.
"What if I grab the silver lining?
Will my life be forever changed?"

I am not a lone "Black Sheep" in this rain.
Each of us in line, shedding our fleece.
Letting it go, as white feathers
Gracefully floating higher
Upon sunbeams Home.

The storm continued as I built my  new home.
Among the quiet of the fragrant cedars
Maples, birch and pine.

The fragrance of the wind
and the touch of the rain
Now fills  my senses!

Opening, freely.
Spirit Dancing in the Rain!
My senses love the spring,
Summer and the fall rains!!

It was in this moment the clouds parted.
Revealing a flowing rainbow
With  vibrational colors of resonance
A phi ratio within each color
Singing, songs, and connecting
Each strand of my human DNA.

A smile expressing itself
Thousands upon thousands of Colors!
An adventure within each
New sunny and rainy day!!
Oh, how I love, this sweetness in life!!!
Alienation: as I looked for the silver linings within each challenge, I began to transition and move through the countless births, deaths, and rebirths within my current life, as wisdom opens and begins to sprout each day.
Lyrics of pain
A song so dark

She had no shield
Inhaled the words
Right into her heart

Melody severed
Just danced along
A tree in the wind
Enslaved to the song in her head
Body mirror my heart
You found me in the dark

Broken pieces
Distort an image

Body a reflection
You rearranged as yours
Geese fly away
She ran away
Like stars from the day
Faraway
When darkness fell
She made a wish on a cattail
they sat barefoot
down by the shore
he softly and slowly
Caressed her thighs
making his way
up her short pink sundress
until
she gasped for air
closing her eyes
slowing releasing
her breathe
he slid deep
inside her
she gasped once more
The moment you depart
a longing so fervent engulfs me
that I am lost
adrift in my senses-memories of you

I am drowning in need
For but a breath of your essence
Your sentiments
Your intellect
Your body
That sweet elixir
A desideratum for my very existence

Time nor distraction wash away the ache
It is you, and only you my love
Who can calm the stormy seas

You who at once
Ignite my most fiery passions
and quiet my greatest fears

It is only you who can keep me afloat
Can quell the ardent sting of your silence
So I beg of you, my love
Please
Stay with me tonight
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