My fingers tickle against
The soft fibers of the first page
In a manuscript written with
dedicated ardence. I
admire the ink uncials, left behind
By eloquent whispers passed from
Your eyes, to My lips.
From your tongue
To my skin.
Salacious words succulent
That permeate the thick paper,
Like heavy breaths from a prurient
I savor the memory,
Turning over the page to find
Blank linen sheets left awaiting,
for letters and punctuation
Until, poem after poem,
A new chapter again
i realize that you will be who you are
and i am comfortable enough within myself
to allow you to express all that lies within you..
because who am i to try to change you?
after realizing my worth,
ive realized that nothing is worth enough to disrupt my peace.
i move away from what no longer serves me
or deserves me.
i wait on divine actions to arise before i consider your place in my space...
are you here to give or take?
for mine or for your sake?
for mind, soul or warm embrace?
you see im powerful,
still you see only half.
so make your choice
i hate to make you choose
but its them or its me.
not in fear of or in face of an ego or some pride,
just protecting what lies inside ..
beautiful as God’s favorite portrait,
as romantic as true loves first kiss,
why do you grow from earth and not my heart,
my flower on Sunday morning.
well it was another day in misery,
my hunger tempted me to buy food filled with fat and sugar as my wallet was filled with cracks and buggers...naw I’m just playin....,
I realized I’m no step closer to my dream and a career is still unknown like the taste of my next meal or how even when my girl touch me it’s the strangest feel,
reading this alone is a race between chills and tears.
I’m starting to sleep for hours cause it’s become a repetitive thing,
....I forgot what today was,
my life has become a swat you take for comfort and then leave when it gets old,
how is god even paying me any attention.....I mean listen,
there are struggles I fail to mention,
but leave me on the side mission where there is no travel but weak perks that don’t glisten......
7 more to go....,
I really wish that time wasn’t this slow....
you want more than you can give,
i can give it to you.
i am more than a mistake or a whatever to you.
i have more than what it takes,
i am higher than the stakes.
i am all that you imagine me being.
when you close your eyes im all that you’re seeing.
i told you lies,
i crushed your heart.
i did these things,
tore us apart.
manipulation is my art,
i was deceiving from the start.
but no one sees what’s really there until the view is clear.
you’ll never understand my version,
i don’t know what’s fair.
you’re afraid that you’ll get played.
makes me wonder why you stayed.
makes me wonder if i ever meant anything.
STILL **** AT TITLES HAHAHA
though i yearn to be near you,
though your smile makes me excited.
though your eyes are all i dream about.
my love is unrequited.
that’s just how it’s meant to be.
you knew what you meant to me.
i handled you, gently.
but you seem to resent me.
guess im laying in a bed that i made.
i despised the reprise of these days.
you know where im coming from,
go easy on me.
it is karma, she has always won.
she is all i can see.
walk a mile on my feet,
bet you’ll find what you seek.
everyone can have their fun,
just not me.
i am the bad guy.
i cry a sad cry.
say i always play the victim.
**** i sure know how to pick ‘em.
whisper in my ear.
tell me the things i like to hear.
tell me all the things you’ve never said before.
say that you’re ok with me being this way,
say that you accept me as i am.
cause im not changing,
im only ranging .
i am who i am.
you are who you are,
and im not judging.
so love me with your all or love me nothing.
love me when i fall,
& when im bluffing.
would you still love me if i didn’t know how to love you?
or would your clouded judgement block the window of a good view?
would you love me if i lied?
will you still love me when i cry?
or would you give up..say goodbye?
i have days i am blank.
i have days all i do is write.
i treat people accordingly.
the ones i love are bored with me.
my love is not enough.
my love, that must be tough.
when i can no longer do
then i am useless.
yes, it’s true.
i am disposable,
like a tissue.
but don’t you come up in my space.
i will dismiss you,
life goes beyond,
so i will live without or with you.