It will all make sense in the end
The turmoil the lack of control
The gifts bestowed and blindness to light
The need to dive into a deeper understanding
And lifetime drowning in questions
Desdain for perfection and possession by it
The words like a broken thread of beads
Now scattered out of my grip
And precision of what needs to be said
Kindness that brings tears and malice
Answered with a smile
It will all tie together in a tight knot
Into the last breath that will only be that
A breath and a memory

Through endless repetition
Of strange days
Engulfing this alien spirit
A breath of rain, a ray of sun
Breaking throw morning curtains,
A loving touch and
A look of openness on the face I love
So beautiful - I fight on
To feel alive

Character sprouts and spreads
And penetrates the view the action
And response
Does this skin fits my inner world?
Does my inner world fit my outfit?
Blanket embroidered with a portrait of
Your heart's temple and a flag to your war
Is it a boldly stated truth undoubtful axiom?
Is this changing shape metamorphosis
Faithfully truth to her essence?
While stretching it's limbs  
Transforming it's tangible qualities...
The flexible substance is essence of the Constance
Do you find such substance in what's expected?
Do you follow instructions compulsively
Step by step towards a ready made final product?
Character defined and well understood
With a resounding hahaha and a polite distance
The character in keeping the face and the stiff upper lip
Giving lip service to the leaders and those to be followed on Twitter
Hiding the angst in the nights embrace
Facing the morning as must be done
Over and over and over
With much character for others to see

By naked nerves
This pride was to be hung
Out to dry in the sunlight
Where life began
Outside this god forsaken shell
That tv mama sung into
This eager child's willing ear
Pride was a blanket yet to be sewn
And a glass of water yet to be poured
Promise of comfort
Nourishing hopes idea
That keeps on slimming
And leaving the baby
Forever hungry forever empty
Sugar coated futility and shame
Grandiosely dressed velvety pretense
Naked I wish to be
This moment is alive
Pulsating energy
Sweeping you off you feet and driving
Each heartbeat further
Deeper with tinkling
Cocktail of discomfort and
Purpose with a dollop of euphoria
Alive I wish to be
Simply complex, primitively dark
Painfully loving and unwillingly absent
Skinless as I am in my ****** honesty
As I am as I was as I will ever be
I let go
No more hanging on fear
There isn't loosing but setting free
Giving away of hearts
They only grow bigger in the end

Such beauty in this simplicity
Of living through moments
Expiriencing life
Solitary instances of
Eye sinking into the depth of
Another
Never ending
Even in silence
Present, always present
So strikingly near
I could almost touch
A thought of you
Simply being in this word
Knowing that there is you in it
Makes darkness loosen her grip
Labels do not belong here
There are no instructions
To this game
It is in the here and now
Of every given second
In the acceptance of silence
And absence of thought
In the nakedness of the spirit
And knowing before hearing
Something beautiful
That words could not contain

Something about beauty
Flickers at the edge of the horizon
When the dark tunnel
Repetition of colors and lights
Is what became of the
Greatest of all gifts

Something simple
Like a drop of water
A snowflake
A fallen leaf
Smell of autumn
Like a ray of sunshine bursting through the curtains
Cool morning air
Soothing the thoughts with anticipation of
Change so long awaited

Live your life, girl
Enjoy it, sip it from the vein
Of universal energy
Tear eyes from flat abstraction
Feel it, first and most important
Then let it go
Poor it out into the
Web of creation

Let it all go
Anger has a place
Where it belongs
Do not hold on
Too tightly or life will slip
Through your clenched fingers
Release the grip then
Fly free from
Fear

At her last breath
With humility she accepted
Then the lungs expanded
One l-a-s-t time
Oh the moment that lasted forever
The Experience most felt
Between the dawn and annihilation
Was hidden the vibrant spark of life
Always wrapped in hope's quilt

Silence drowned in the eyes of the storm
Boundaries dissipate speechless
Confusion accompanied
By the song of the wind

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size  
But when I start to tell them,
They think I’m telling lies.
I say,
It’s in the reach of my arms,
The span of my hips,  
The stride of my step,  
The curl of my lips.  
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,  
That’s me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,  
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.  
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.  
I say,
It’s the fire in my eyes,  
And the flash of my teeth,  
The swing in my waist,  
And the joy in my feet.  
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

Men themselves have wondered  
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can’t touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them,  
They say they still can’t see.  
I say,
It’s in the arch of my back,  
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my *******,
The grace of my style.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

Now you understand
Just why my head’s not bowed.  
I don’t shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.  
When you see me passing,
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It’s in the click of my heels,  
The bend of my hair,  
the palm of my hand,  
The need for my care.  
’Cause I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

Good night muse
Through open mouth comes
Silent nothing you left behind
Forced syllables bubbling to the surface
Pointless use of precious tick-tocks
And dictionary was left under the rain
Soggy pages melted into a feeling state
Comatose of pretence
Your luggage full of stories and unbeknown to you morals
Secretly precious artefacts
Desposed regrets and cynical apologies
Said as a joke to stretch the time away from
Boredom
I'll keep them under pillow where they belong
Filling my dreams with dread of pointless ending
Keeping me from fading into that good night
(I love you Thomas, you old devil hope you're drunk and loved)

Good night muse
I hope you wake one day with
Sense of purpose
Desire that you're know is real
Shiver of urgency running
Down your nerves
Need desire passion
To uncover the world
At the bottom of your fall
Into the mystery of another

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Crawling climbing with the last bit of power
In those worn out sacred muscles
Spirit was grasping for transformation
The sun behind the horizon seemed stuck
The earth stopped spinning
Or limbo moment held on pause
Skipping like broken record
Day after day after day
Over and over, the slap for the rawness of truth
Too much for any shell to handle
The spirit exhausted looking for a glimmer of sunrise
Wouldn't come if the life of real
Was put into the sealed box of convention
The spirit fought as it felt it was loosing
It withstood as it saw itself spread
Into a puddle of blood, sweat and tears
It fought for truth once seen never to be unfelt
Like kindness born in absolute acceptance
Of painful humanity
In holding the spirit of another
Naked and trembling
Warming another with heat of each breath
Feeling with every though
Nurturing with honest hope
How few were brave enough to dive
Into this terrifying ocean
Cold hot edgy and flawless
All at once so confusing
And yet the only one that could ever be real
Spirit knew to let go of a hand
Not brave enough to be held
There was sunrise behind this great mountain
And hope in the air even when the darkness
Covered the sight with a blindfold of annihilation
There were many hands and many lives
And goodbyes were never easy
For each grasp once felt
Was forever to be missed
Yet the journey was to continue
Through pain and loss and
Memory of sunrise once imprinted
Forever to be sought

You do not do, you do not do  
Any more, black shoe
In which I have lived like a foot  
For thirty years, poor and white,  
Barely daring to breathe or Achoo.

Daddy, I have had to **** you.  
You died before I had time——
Marble-heavy, a bag full of God,  
Ghastly statue with one gray toe  
Big as a Frisco seal

And a head in the freakish Atlantic  
Where it pours bean green over blue  
In the waters off beautiful Nauset.  
I used to pray to recover you.
Ach, du.

In the German tongue, in the Polish town  
Scraped flat by the roller
Of wars, wars, wars.
But the name of the town is common.  
My ****** friend

Says there are a dozen or two.  
So I never could tell where you  
Put your foot, your root,
I never could talk to you.
The tongue stuck in my jaw.

It stuck in a barb wire snare.  
Ich, ich, ich, ich,
I could hardly speak.
I thought every German was you.  
And the language obscene

An engine, an engine
Chuffing me off like a Jew.
A Jew to Dachau, Auschwitz, Belsen.  
I began to talk like a Jew.
I think I may well be a Jew.

The snows of the Tyrol, the clear beer of Vienna  
Are not very pure or true.
With my gipsy ancestress and my weird luck  
And my Taroc pack and my Taroc pack
I may be a bit of a Jew.

I have always been scared of you,
With your Luftwaffe, your gobbledygoo.  
And your neat mustache
And your Aryan eye, bright blue.
Panzer-man, panzer-man, O You——

Not God but a *******
So black no sky could squeak through.  
Every woman adores a Fascist,  
The boot in the face, the brute  
Brute heart of a brute like you.

You stand at the blackboard, daddy,  
In the picture I have of you,
A cleft in your chin instead of your foot  
But no less a devil for that, no not  
Any less the black man who

Bit my pretty red heart in two.
I was ten when they buried you.  
At twenty I tried to die
And get back, back, back to you.
I thought even the bones would do.

But they pulled me out of the sack,  
And they stuck me together with glue.  
And then I knew what to do.
I made a model of you,
A man in black with a Meinkampf look

And a love of the rack and the *****.  
And I said I do, I do.
So daddy, I’m finally through.
The black telephone’s off at the root,  
The voices just can’t worm through.

If I’ve killed one man, I’ve killed two——
The vampire who said he was you  
And drank my blood for a year,
Seven years, if you want to know.
Daddy, you can lie back now.

There’s a stake in your fat black heart  
And the villagers never liked you.
They are dancing and stamping on you.  
They always knew it was you.
Daddy, daddy, you *******, I’m through.

Sylvia Plath, “Daddy” from Collected Poems. Copyright © 1960, 1965, 1971, 1981 by the Estate of Sylvia Plath. Editorial matter copyright © 1981 by Ted Hughes. Used by permission of HarperCollins Publishers.
Source: Collected Poems (HarperCollins Publishers Inc, 1992)

A young body, light
As winter sunshine, a new
Seed's bursting promise,
Hung from a string of silence
Above its future.
(The chance of choice was never known.)
Hunger, new hands, strange voices,
It's cry came natural, tearing.

Water boiled in innocence, gaily
In a cheap ***.
The child exchanged it's
Curiosity for terror. The skin
Withdrew, the flesh submitted.

Now, cries make shards
Of broken air, beyond an unremembered
Hunger and the peace of strange hands.

A young body floats.
Silently.

On a bright day, next week
Just before the bomb falls
Just before the world ends
Just before I die

All my tears will powder
Black in dust like ashes
Black like Buddha's belly
Black and hot and dry

Then will mercy tumble
Falling down in god heads
Falling on the children
Falling from the sky

Can't be at ease in the comfort
Of fuzzy untruth this is only a
Slice of reality and I have no feel
For its limited nurturance
This cup of coffee isn't my cup of tea
Missing the edge of purpose
Needing the pull of importance
Isn't within me I am but a tool
In creators tool box
A fool for the thrill of ultimate
So weak and crumbled when dust
Settles in my cracks
I need to see within further beyond and
Out of this world
I need to feel the warmth of your
Souls breath
Embrace your pain
For mine was ever lonely
Always dropped by another
It was too heavy they say
Cast iron it seemed
Nice to rely on its heavy duty
Wall of patience
I got used to it
Direction lost in a whirlpool
Today
Limitations everywhere I turn
Reality reflects little of me
Little of the world
I never knew where I belonged
Only in this one on one
Staring void of all else
Gone
Shaken by the waves of
Their tormented natures
And life is beautiful
In the high pitched
Whine of a violins complaint
And I know no other way
To keep my livelihood
Than to be this joke of a savior
That is how I save myself
If I don't explode or run from life

Enveloped in your smell
Wrapped in your warmth
Your body so close
It could have been mine
Your food tasted like home
Unraveled by what you never knew
I was
You couldn't see beyond yourself
Your fears your limitations
Your comfort zone
Afraid to face the galaxies of sorrow
In my eyes
I shut them down
Protecting your peace
Only to feel your hand
Holding mine
Always smaller than I could have been
To make myself understood

Sometimes a caring feeling
Isn't enough to hold the boat afloat
The sea has to have its current to
Keep things moving
With waves asking questions
And wails curious enough
To look inside at what the sailor gathered
With wind willing to give direction
interaction... Inter action... Action

One would think
A conversation
A simple thing
A little piece of blather here and there
Don't listen don't ask
Questions are too much
To consider
Dig the deep hole
For the source of
Your curiosity
Why bother?
Just talk after another
Made a pause
And then go back to
The solitary confinement
Of your isolation

Dawning dullness covers eyelids
Vailed feeling shrinking numbness
Sitting quiet watching shadows
Like a dream it's slipping dripping
Life between my fingers sinking
Into dirt transforming slowly
Thickly painting feelings heavy
Yet...

Final song is still to catch
Distill from the air that
Nurtured lifeless cells
Oh no, wasn't born to waste

No real gesture emerges
For the sea of falseness,
I need some truth
To keep on going
My hands too busy
Keeping my head above
This muddy water

There are times
When feeling pushes against the skin
Stretching it until it comes apart
Along the seems of what you thought
Was polite and acceptable
Threatened by your own self you
Swallow it deeper to preserve
The bond, but alas it's broken
By your silence
This steam will burn you
And will fire out uncontrollably
When your mind falls asleep
Find the words
Have some faith in human race
To show you that your feelings matter

Intention underneath the did
Can you feel it's pattern?
It's push reminding of betrayal
It's pull begging for existence
It's yearning to trust and begging for
Solitude - quiet, unperturbed
Maddening
With bravery to fall into abyss of the unknown
To find a piece of you in hands
Whose next move will always be a question
Connection calling faith
To dance the tango
The passionate move of dangerous feeling
Trust is dangerous
Feeling is dangerous
Life is dangerous
Death is safe
It is permanent and predictable
Joylessly
Like its little sister routine
Yet we can find snapshots of joy
In the most predictable of our days
While sharing it embrace another soul

Forgiveness unfelt
Like a snake stuck in your throat
Forever to squirm where you feel it
Looking into the eyes of an iceberg
Desperate to humanize her but
Deep down I find no faith
I cannot feel that golden grain
In the pit of her stomach
I do not sense the gentle pull of
Fragile humanity solty sweat
Too cold
To get naked soled in front of this
Shell limited by self-protection
Yet I feel her deeply so I can't even hate

Spectrum out your rainbow
Honey you aren't all bitter
Bittersweet is life they say,
I'd say sour too like a half-squeezed
Rotting lemon and yet
There is a flavor to it
And on a good day it all tastes
Like a crisp watermelon
Sweet and delightfully juicy
Mixed with some salty self-acceptance
And sheer spice of crossing the rules
Non of this fits into a word
Only those dreading are resentful
Fearful asked to simplify
Contain the world into
A plastic TV box - lets play
Pretend we saw everything there was
Like it isn't what they fed us
So we can sit in this miniscule puddle of an ocean
Disappointed that life is getting boring
Sending love notes someone else wrote
To petty universe
Dreadful changes, get away!

Smallness crept inside
Wormlike string of fear
At the face of the grandiose
Grandeur, something
You wish could entangle in between
All your gaps supporting
The thin walls of crushing unimportance
And as it squirmed inside
You stomach empty and raging
It filled you with despair
Urgency to escape or to be
Held and cradled
By this enormity of everything
Most of which you will never see
Inside were thoughts
Bouncing off the walls
Meaninglessly sinking in
And dripping out
Just as meaninglessly
What are they in the face
Of endless repetition
So glorious and terrifying
You could breathe it in
Feel it, write it out, sculpt it
Or take care of its smallest bits
That fit into your grip
Tiny you are
Tiny I am
And all of them to come
Just as tiny-tiny bits of
Comparative insignificance
Yet like the molecules of matter
We hit each other's trajectories
And butterfly's wing governs the ball
So, good night dear insignificance
I thought of you today
Between every other blink
And on the big scale
It hardly even happened
Yet thought was most alive
In the universe of my
Petty mind
That never happened before
And will never exist again

Through fog and sullen thoughts
I move on I don't stop
Through limitations
I break free I leap off a cliff
I fall backwards to see the sky not the fear
Crashing or flying is not up to me
I am moved and I follow
Crazy and enlightened are two words
To describe refusal to follow
I sense and I comprehend
Not your words,
I can touch your intentions
The tender fragility behind the
Shell of impervious
Behind bravado of the narcissus
So small and shallow so afraid
Of seeing empty staring back from
The mirror reflection
No, I'm no better
I fear the void I fill it
To the brink like a pointless hobby
Feeling the ultimate
Does not help to shake off my humanity
Limitations everywhere reflect
The fear I carry like a favorite keepsake
Too human to let go

Agitation twisting thought pressing
Inside my temples swirling pain
Of uncertainty something to endure
Overcome without giving in to the doubt
I need a reliable honest shoulder
Lost my objectivity somewhere on the way
Reality feels boggy and the hearing dulled
To the call I heard some time ago
Doubt everything: you, me, truth, air, purpose
Simultaneous wish to fall apart into pieces
And to run in the direction felt as ultimate
Fluidity of perspective is the only truth
Mainstream thought is an enemy
My mind perceives as mystery, can't see it
Feel it, need it, respect it
Yet living in seclusion is my greatest fear
I see everyone around me
Yet so confused inside myself

When reality bubbles up and
Bursts into myriads of sparkly
Particles disintegrated because
Your core cannot hold them together
By the thread of meaning
What is left of experience?
Does letting go of predictability
Inside the dome of your inner sky
Lets you fly kites
Or threatens with annihilation?
When I look into another set of eyes
I am so often afraid to see
The bottom, small bits of depth
Scattered around thin like dust and last year's
Crumbs, or desire to elevate
By the thread of illusion
Above someone at least,
Someone who would allow,
Because inside the hollow space holds scale,
A chest of fear and a guard called shame
I am afraid to see
Seeing is one thing I cannot hide
Punished by it over and over again
Naively and stubbornly, I refuse to use it
Connection hurts those who lack the chip
They demand, unaccepting
Why can't you be like us?
Follow the rules we know?
I try not to look at them,
Preserve peace of their dream
Where connection never existed
The food that sustains my spirit
I can't see them, your rules
lost instructions, lost in translation
deliberately, even in the native tongue
I wish to escape this world
To find the truth that sticks
Yet love holds me close to earth
It expands and multiplies
Grows as it gives,
I wish to offer everything there is
Of me, and dissolve
In the chain of destinies
Craftful creation of some
Universal pattern

Can't hold the fury at the lost child
Banging at my door long and desperately
Looking at me with a glimmer
Of spite in her hungry eyes.
Come in, dear, have some tea
I am hungry too, not a solitary creature
Not too strong, in and out of utter confusion
Feeling pull of something behind the clouds
Not sure what, I know you disbelieve
So do I, but then I feel the presence
Your presence speaks of mystery
More than any bible ever written
I look down the wells of your eyes
And I find my tears
I hear them in your breath
It pains me, truly, pains to
Know how small I am
To change what needs to change
Not even myself
Cannot dull the need to look
At strangers' eyes a second too long
Ask a question a word too heavy
I like your honesty, your sincere
Sarcasm, thoroughly felt and deeply sad
I know it's there, I feel your sadness
And if you can believe me for a second
It is the taste of meaning, salty like pain
You have it in you,
Not the emptiness I could not forget
But the search of an honest reflection
Ability to truly see another set of eyes
Intelligence peering through a mask
Of damaged heritage
I lack the words my girl,
Insufficient blather
Not mad, I accept you
Exactly as you are
And all I wish for
Is for you to see me as I am
And if I you wish to leave
The door is always open
As it will remain

Meek your *** dear
Weak thinking dear
Limited as a ruler
Trying to stuff what
You don't get into a box
Too small, hoping
Maybe held in a pocket
It will be easier to
Comprehend
By the brain too tired
To be open

Don't be lonesome sailor
Swaying on the waves under the
Dark cover of speckled eternity
It isn't the end it may never be
And if it is to come
Than now is the moment to enjoy
The last minute to savor
The breath of sea **** in the air
To absorb before darkness covers you
With calm annihilation.
And wouldn't feeling suit you
When coda comes to mind?
When rest is here to stay
Do you not wish to feel
With every pore with every inch
Exuberance of simplicity
Electrifying radiance of
A single ray of sun
The melancholy of the road
Moon is tracing on the water
The path to eternity
The ever present wish to fly
The ever present wish to cry
The ever present wish to hug the world
And run away

There's nothing to do here, some just whine and complain, in bed at the hospital
Coming and going, asleep and awake, in bed at the hospital

Tell me the story of how you ended up here, I've heard it all in the hospital
Nurses are fussin' , doctors on tour somewhere in India

I got one friend laying across from me
I did not choose him, he did not choose me
We've got no chance of recovery
Sharing hospital joy and misery, joy and misery, joy and misery

Put out the fire boys, don't stop don't stop
Put out the fire on us
Put out the fire boys, don't stop don't stop
Put out the fire on us
Bring your buckets by the dozens, bring your nieces and your cousins, come put out the fire on us

Egg shell fragile this presence
Dance around what I don't wish to guess
Shallow confounds of normality
All things placed where they belong
Where everyone expects to reach and grab
Exactly what was expected
A man on the moon questioned
Swinging his feet kicking the stars
Why?
The terrifying flood of uncertainty and
Get the guy off our sky
We find his manners unsettling
Poor thing fell off only to forget
Into a child form degenerative oblivion
Slowly drowning in the swamp of
What they consider reality
How absurd this life can be
All these years of traveling
Only to prove the starting point
I crave another galaxy I can call home

Descend to the bottom or raising to the top
Of The Well
Well aware of the consequences
When the soul gets tangled in knots falling
And expands as it approaches the light
Bouncing up and down
The endless tunnel we call
God

“Do you know, to my thinking it's a good thing sometimes to be absurd; it's better in fact, it makes it easier to forgive one another, it's easier to be humble. One can't understand everything at once, we can't begin with perfection all at once! In order to reach perfection one must begin by being ignorant of a great deal. And if we understand things too quickly, perhaps we shan't understand them thoroughly.”

The devil sneezed
Achoo such a lonely cold
Better safe than sorry
Stay away from
Those ****** possessors
Keep my blessed bacteria
All to myself
He thought then looked
Outside the window
Rainy day so harmonious
With his love for tragic endings
Like tears of generations
All the souls devil ever took
Feeling them close and cozy
Achoo ****** they're all gone
Too sick to get myself
Some meds to soothe the
Void some **** to break the
Repetition, amphetamines
To finish the business
Day and night never ending
Chain of over and over and over
Bored through and through
Down to his creativity
Down to all the drowned passions
And old memories jumping over the fire
With a yawn
Hot and cold and ever lasting
Dissatisfaction
ACHOO this might just be the end of it
Wouldn't change much
But don't mind the change of scenery
Too tired to flip the switch
Already happened a while ago
Achoooo-ally

On a step soaking in the
Forest's breath simply
Sitting with my ****
On a wooden board
Hardly thinking
Suddenly powerful
Desire to smile and
Experience every inhalation
As a gift perhaps
Because the life goes on
Perhaps because the mystery
Remained and isn't so
Out of reach
Giving it my permission
To guide me or simply ask
I am grateful to you
My mystery
Simply because you are
And if you wish for an
Innosent gift
Say it simply
It will be my pleasure
On a sunny day
When the dragonfly
Helicoptered past my nose

This one is silent
Like an unfelt unexpected apologie
Honestly cold and safe from
Treacherous feeling
This one is dull like
A conversation with too many
Words never to be spoken
Or the black hole in the chest
Ever expanding
This one is to be sipped
As it unfolds
Into our memory
As metamorphosis
That knew not her true face
This one is beyond limits
Beyond definitions fluctuating
Endless continuum between
The depths and hights
Fearful and admiring of them both
This one is about
One that will never be
Because it is
And tomorrow will be another day
This one is about
you

Memory drawn on a page
Scribbled like a Freudian slip
From the back of your mind
It oozed onto the paper
To be devoured by your
Surprised gaze
Only you can understand
And maybe to surface
Meaning will take its time
But you will feel its shadow
Hanging over your head
And you will fear the same
You did before the child
Gave up his will to fight
Heavy it will be
But to step forward
The chain of memory
Will have to be
Linked back together

When legend created the world first came the question
Light or dark separated by the words, underlying meaning of things
Expressed in alphabetic notation always
Speaks with an accent, the fluidity of form
Inexpressible uncontainable strangeness
The leaf is a breath, food, healing and shade
You are not me and I am not you yet shadows of each other
Before the judgement comes it is, you are
I am, interchanged yet our own entities
No ultimate meaning beyond what one makes
Of this mess, snake's curious devastating boredom
Livelihood could be achieved or inspired
By something beyond,
Or lived without, in opaque dusk of utter meaninglessness
So I leave it up to the forces in charge
Spectator by nature
I rationalize what does not fall into place
You don't, now run, I am about to say it
Ambiguity!

Тяжело и прискорбно мне видеть,
Как мой брат погибает родной.
И стараюсь я всех ненавидеть,
Кто враждует с его тишиной.

Посмотри, как он трудится в поле,
Пашет твердую землю сохой,
И послушай ты песни про горе,
Что поет он, идя бороздой.

Или нет в тебе жалости нежной
Ко страдальцу сохи с бороной?
Видишь гибель ты сам неизбежной,
А проходишь его стороной.

Помоги же бороться с неволей,
Залитою вином, и с нуждой!
Иль не слышишь, он плачется долей
В своей песне, идя бороздой?
1912

Perplexed, why continue the song
If the words make no sense and the tune you can't hear
What can be the root of connection that cannot be felt?
Eagerness to prolong and fill in the void by minute increments
With something so utterly silly and trivial
Something that gives one no power over another
Was that a snake mistaking itself for a lion?
Is there a wish underneath it all
That makes this creature a little human?
If you could choose yourself anew, who would you be?

Quilt pieces sewn together
To map the way towards light
The quest for inner freedom
American denim squares
Painted, scripted, reflecting
The inner worlds of youth
Those eye overting open on the inside
Vulnerable and ever so hopeful
Escaping cruelty found
Where love had to reside
Damaged but resilient
And still so beautifully naive
Afraid to start the journey
Imagination is an unsafe place
Where bad memories hide
Behind every corner
Superpowers for safety
Boldness and courage
Anxiety - the dizziness of freedom
When violence is kept at bay
Freedom to turn away
Freedom to find the law
Freedom to not give up
Freedom to fly with chains
Freedom to eat your food
Freedom to pray your god
Freedom to keep your hope
In the big city miracles
Are kept alive

You can’t, if you can’t feel it, if it never
Rises from the soul, and sways
The heart of every single hearer,
With deepest power, in simple ways.
You’ll sit forever, gluing things together,
Cooking up a stew from other’s scraps,
Blowing on a miserable fire,
Made from your heap of dying ash.
Let apes and children praise your art,
If their admiration’s to your taste,
But you’ll never speak from heart to heart,
Unless it rises up from your heart’s space.

Grey highway swarm of thoughts in afternoon
Depart to face the questions
Of what could happen soon
How many lives per week
Would you be willing to save
With words?
There isn't an answer it's all rhetoric
Strange kind of ******
Crippled in withdrawal
So empty without a violin to tune
Your thoughts your inner self
A song that lost its chorus
Drowning my insanity
While I save you from yours

Or at least hear your story
Good enough for a double lifetime
So what else is there besides
Your negative attention seeking...

When breathing feels like finite striving
Dead end, a waste of effort
It wasn't you breathing all along

Walking the streets it isn't my body
Breathing the air it isn't my soul
Nourished by the livelihood of all
The rhyme won't flow, image is static
Almost absurdly predictable
Spontaneity covered in layers of soil
Creativity choked to submission

This isn't the WAY, not myself not my life
Still watching it by the side of the bed
That stayed long in the past
Distorted image of unity

Predict your death or start this trip anew
Let in the thrill of truths so eager to erupt
To land on soil that awaits the honest
Shed image blank as page where nothing
Was ever written, nothing but the sound
Not suited for this mediocre guessing game
Your talent chokes without a helping hand
You have the power to transcend
Pain, hope,despair, evil - all arose to greet you
Give them your voice
Experiment with flow
And dream yourself anew
Truthfully

Repetition of small
Moments
To enjoy them
Is the greatest task
Leading to true contentment
Warm smell of chicken roasting
Kissing two little heads
Worth more than life itself
Television filling up the silence
Airplane noise
Smell of spring in the air
Freshly green leaves
Soft carpet under my toes
Headache reminding I'm still alive
What insignificantly
Important pieces

A-tisket and a wicked uber fella
I lost my jazz fest umbrella
And though I texted many times
He would not give it back

Was it yellow NONoNoNo
It was a black one for conservatives
And watermelony for insiders

And so it ***** and I'm upset
So I ordered a new one instead

Shattered shattered the light
******* the gaze into an empty well
Producing sounds is all that's left
Expanding darkness absorbing
I stepped in its direction
Reminded of the void so familiar
Darkness so soothing
Like a dream of non existence
Like the sound of eternal silence
Then smile came
And it was
Alive

You say trust is paper thin
Rice paper fragility
Can not withstand the nature.
Perhaps, not a single soul knows better
How much wind yours can withhold
Not suited for a desperate grip
But would do well for a masterpiece.
I find faith at the bottom of vulnerability
Decision to live on with fears of failure
I expose vulnerability to the sun
I take off the mask and let the skinless
Breathe... freak out the type A manekens
Fallible oh so human so imperfect
Yet I take pride in being friends with truth
This road is desolate but it FEELS....
I am suspicious too, ready to catch
Another on mixing some BS into the storyline
I'd rather take on heartless than too weak to see
Immaculate pretence I find it hard not to spit on.
SO if you could share one truth
That in your mind raised no doubt
Be it the truth of a destined psychopath
Or fallen martyr
If today was the last day to live
Would you share your truth with me?

I stare into the void inside of me
Suddenly immersed into darkness
In dim light I stumble upon
Bits and pieces
The whole is disintegrating
I panic, you can see it in my eyes
I lose myself the boundary of my mind
I feel - it's tangible, covers me with a wave of
Heat or moisture or frustration, depression anger, sweat or tears
Is it me or you this time - I never know
For a moment I am lost in the speechless uncomfortable coexistence.
I feel you!
I feel you so much I cannot feel myself anymore.
Takes time to find way back into presence
Fear on one side is the root of my
Awareness, my greatest strength
Yet so difficult to explain or understand
Anxiety, the human condition
Root of self-knowledge
Worth so much more than a
Superficial word