Numbness
Its my companion
Feelings are unnecessary

So why would I give you leverage
I can break my own heart
I'm actually quite good at it

I've done it for years
So I can recover from myself

I've never had someone else break it
I never let people
I run them off before that's an option

I have a two month max
and I like being numb after
My face
I cant feel it smile
and I cant force tears

Liquor was my saving grace
but you
You have ruined it all

I want to run
but im so numb with feeling
I cant move my feet
I try to break my heart daily
because of you

I cant bring myself
out of the rut you've put me in
I smile whenever you are around
but hurt with miles between
I cant stand it

But I think I adore you
I want you to give me a reason to run
but you don't
you wont let me break my heart
I should have ran as soon as I saw you
but I want to feel something
anything

and now I do
its so foreign
a numbing tingle
you have awoken my heart
and it yearns daily

I'm so used to not feeling
you make me feel and I cant handle it
I want you to make me numb
but yet I want you to stay
because I feel...
I don't want to go back
to being numb,
to heartbreak that doesn't hurt
I want you
you make my bones ache
you make my heart burn

so don't leave
you would break me

I'm not internally screaming or anything,
If you were going to ask.
Just wandering around the void.
It's not a big adventure.

"Who's using who?
What should we do?
Well you can't be a ****
And a ******* too."