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 Dec 2016 ktarrpropaganda
Stephan
.
  
I am
    bound by the
  belief that
     life,

with
  all of its
                           dark tunnels
                following tracks
                    of hurt  
   caused by someone who
    claims to
                       have cared,
    
         shorelines
          of empty promises
                                        vacant of any feeling
                      washing your dreams
into a sewer system
                      of nightmares
  
                 and
      
                     twisted stairways
of all that was shared      
               crumbling beneath
the weight of a
                      broken heart
                          
gets no better
than this,

        and I am
          ecstatic
       by the
          fact
                 that it

                                               eventually ends
I just wish it would hurry the hell up
Thank you to all of my friends here for your kindness and for making this life a little bit more bearable. Sometimes though the pain is just too much.
You broke my ******* heart.

And you did it from the comfort of your own ******* garden.

While you had a *******  cigarette.

I was curled into the corner of a ******* bathroom, so no one could hear me cry.

I don't ******* cry.
But since then I can't ******* stop.

I can't ******* deal with this.

Why the **** did you do this to me?

I ******* hate you!

Please come back...
The pain in my chest won't go away, I can't forget him, I love him. I HATE HIM
I watched her crush him as she broke his heart
Then she wanted to grind him to dust
with the expectation of friendship.
Heartless *****,
hasn't he suffered enough?
Despite the heart which is froze
Hatred runs fluidly
Like the water in shattered glass
Like the blood in broken bones
Like the flames in our homes    
This hatred
It speaks to me
Like drugs to an addict

When it tells me to shoot
                                         I relapse and
                                       aim for the sky


I said..
In spite of my own humility
Hatred runs deeply
Like the roots beneath the dirt
Like the pain beyond the hurt
Like this poem before your eyes

I despise 
                Way too many lies
                And so little truth
 

I said..
I hate beautiful  
It cripples me deeply  
For you are my pity
My pain and their pleasure

When I am high
                           I'll collapse and fall
                        Far from this place
                        Of rotten bliss


I said..
Look at me        
Blood misrepresents me    
For I am cut differently
This pain isn't felt
Like the emptiness
Residing in your cup
It is felt
Like a toxic
Living inside the gut
Like these words
Traveling directly
Towards the stomach

I mean..
             Although this addiction kills me
           Hatred is also the remedy
          It is all I need to truly appreciate
          The little love I have left.
((Recovery))
My father died
from a gun shot wound
to the head

self-inflicted

Don't get all weird about it.

Fathers die
and their passing
though certain
is rarely easy.

So what can I say of this man
so many years
after his emphatic end?

I can say what Whitman said
of Lincoln:
"O Captain, my Captain.
Rise up and hear the bells."

But he will not.

He was ever-present
wise and alert
a boxer in life
a fighter in every way.

And I grew up with the gloves on
quick
elusive
and thanks to him
successful in every ring.  

He died
******* on a lit tobacco stick

Emphysema was gonna
take him down
so he pulled his own trigger
saved his family that way
though that's a longer tale

Therefore
and whereas
this is a belated requiem
for a man I loved.
My Captain.
Dear and departed
these many years
may he rest in peace
as he never rested
in life.
We are the broken
We just want you to see through our eyes
What can happen when angry harsh words are spoken
We just wish to show the reason for our mournful cry

We want you to know that every single solitary day
We live a life full of grief and remorse
There is no healing words, nothing to say
Just watch as our life's have been shoved off course

There isn't a day we are not broken
Like the physically handicapped we must endure
On all that's been done to us we are  left choking
We have searched everywhere there is no cure

On this earth we will remain broken, there is no doubt
In public we suffer silently, in our holes we cry and we wail
Only sweet wonderful death offers a way out
We are as fragile as that shattered egg shell
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