You make me want to slit my wrist
Cut off my limbs
Use them as bait
And fish
But right after I jump off a cliff
Trying to embrace the sky
Hoping it will catch me as I pretend to fly

You make me want to down a bottle of NyQuil
Oh how I love its taste
Lay in bed waiting for the affect to take place
Fighting the sleep
As it creep through my system
Like a spider inching in the shadows
Trying to stay out the light

But I don't want to go peacefully
I want it to end painfully
You make me want to jump into a lions cage
Poke it with a stick until it goes into a blind rage
Cut my palms
And slap it in the face
So it can get a taste
Of the blood drizzling out my hand
Like a leaky faucet

Sometimes you make me wanna **** myself

You taste like static
and your eyes look like hot coals
Let my body fizz
Ease me into your skin
I want to know what dying is

My fingers close on nothing more
Or less than what was there before,

But what is now was meant to be.
This heart will starve in reverie.

So to the next, whichever path
This river takes, what's past is past,

What's next is next... but now is mine--
My gift to me, all bound in twine

And velvet drape. The water's still.
Shall I leap? I think I will.

I've stopped searching
for my missing pieces
Not because I'm whole
but because
I finally
feel
alive