Sometimes it feels as if all the things I  love  will always hurt me in the end,
I smile with strength but am terrified if this hope is a foe not a friend,
There are wells of tears silently cried for past times I was wrong,
I always seem to follow into the lion's den the siren deceitful song,
I tried to be okay when the sunlight once again left me alone,
I tried to convince my heart the darkness was my suitable home,
I just need one more day to turn it around i promise myself each night,
Then to tomorrow comes proving over and over that promise was never right,
My twisted fate becomes more and more clear,
I'll never survive and my death will be here,
Ending clutching the things I once loved releasing my last silent single tear.

I hold still in a room of people looking for one face,
There was never a cat or mouse who more enjoyed the chase,
Our friends have no idea the things that happen between us,
The ***** thoughts and actions brought to life dripping with lust,
I asked you once why did you start this merger of two broken souls,
You laughed before responding you might be ****** up enough to make my heart whole,
I laugh dance and flirt with other guys giving a show for only you to see,
I walk around the room pretending not to notice the intense jealous eyes that fuel me,
I can hear the harsh demand of your voice in my head all the time,
It's screaming reminding me of why I am yours and you are mine,
The game is too much fun to make the truth real with spoken words,
The energy of our secrets keeps our attraction propelling forwards,
In the light I am a free succubus enchanting all but in the dark I am a  captured spirit bound by chains labeled yours.

There's a certain beauty in the chaos of us,
Its a strange potent mix of fear and lust,
You lied when you said you were incapable of love,
Now every moment is captured to the surface of your mind they shove,
You tell yourself that my smile no longer fazes you,
But the steam rising from your skin after my touch says that's not true,
I enjoy the games we play every night  between our thighs ,
I study you biting my lip in  anticipation of the next possible high,
In an attempt to regain my sanity I push you away,
I know its usually in vain because you pull me in deeper the next day,
You fingers wrapped around my hair forcing me to submit to the chaos with a kiss,
As you push me to the bed my body tingles with insurmountable  bliss,
I look into your eyes holding you intense gaze as you roughly enter me,
The end to this merry go round on my back after each wave of pleasure  is hard to see,
Tomorrow Ill focus on my escape but in this moment I think Ill let the chaos be,

Why do you come here knowing what we've done,
Why do torture me dangling constant reminders of our forbidden fun,
My heaving chest betrays revealing dark memories burned into my skin,
I try to fight the heat you bring out in me afraid of what will happen if it wins,
Your lips were not meant for mine but their taste lingers still,
Your teeth sunk into me the memory is more potent than any pill,
I try hard to  concentrate on not noticing the intoxicating look in you eyes,
I know where this will lead and we promised that last kiss we cut all ties,
So why show up here again with  that all too yelling look in your eyes.

The first day we met they called me fairy,
I was unsure why the name was given but it suited me just fine,
I assumed it had to do with this inner light my soul tends to carry,
Or the childlike sparkle in my eyes people tend to find,
I wonder and dance about the crowd unable to fine any encounter offered scary,
I charmed and seduced the hordes of judges with my humor heart and mind,
I laughed with great exclamation instructing all to spread this name fairy,
I've decided I'd rather liked to please be called this all the time.

It's hard to believe the things you say,
When the opposite proves to be true more and more each day,
I let myself be fooled for years and years,
Because the hidden truth would bring nothing but tears,
Funny when lies become an umbrella in the ongoing  rain,
A mask becomes to thin to protect your scared face of pain,
Do you just pretend to not know what you're doing to me,
You  play blind so well you must not really see,
Hard to really know the person continuously stealing my soul,
I can't figure out how to fight an unclear friend or foe,
Instead I'll stay under my umbrella waiting for the rain to become soft clear snow.

Let me tell stories about who I am,
Let me rob you of your proof that I am your friend,
Let slip secret notions that live deep within my soul,
Watch me process and twist whatever unwavering truth you've  believed you told,
All jumbled on the banks of a chaotic mind,
All broken stolen and now hard to find,
Please tell me it's okay to let ugly parts poke out of this heart you've painted gold,
Because keeping them hidden my body begins to fold,
This smile you cherish is a silent scream trying to escape my tightly closed lips,
This smile is me begging you to instruct me to cut the s**t,
Because without permission and direction I'll always choose to swim in it.