An earth filled flower *** is all I have left of you.
That and the memories,
Both good and bad.
The flower *** reminded me of you at the end
Empty, nothing left to give.
But then summer came, and with it your flower *** bloomed
Bright orange lilies, the most beautiful I had ever seen
A burst of fire
A fleeting explosion of passion and wonder.
The flower *** reminds me of you at the beginning
Full of hope and beauty, with everything to give
That’s how I choose to remember you now
And every summer the lilies grow I think of the past
And smile at the unconditional love you always had for me

I'm not your curvy woman,
& you're not my handsome beau,
I am not your willful wife,
not a naive Bambi doe,

I'm your favorite hippy chick,
but to you,
I'm just a girl,
I'm not your shiny fiancé,
or your lovely lil' pearl,

I'm not your special lady,
just a pretty gal,
you sometimes call,
I'm just a familiar pal,
to catch you if you fall,

If you want a special lover,
don't call me just a friend,
I'll be there for most anything,
on this you can depend,

But,
I've kissed too many frogs,
I wished too many stars,
I was left behind too much,
it left some open scars,

I'd gladly play this game,
with any other boy,
I want to be "the one" with you
not just a **** toy,

Well maybe stupid cupid,
got careless with his aim,
he hit the wrong target,
either way,
it's  such a shame,

I'd really feel much better,
if someone were to blame,

I wanted to be your everything,
to stay,
no matter what,
this is worse than anything,
  another bleeding cut,

I'd hold you every night,
I'd like to be your lover,
I wanna be with you,
not only under cover,

I love you more than anyone,
that I have ever known,
I thought you would have seen this,
that this,
I would have shown,
  like every tiny seed,
that I have ever sown,

I held my hands with highest hopes,
this time it might have grown,
I wish I could have stayed,
but that seed again,
has flown,
taken away,
today,
gone again,
I'm blown,

My heart is,
just like anything,
it's not something I can own.

Cherie Nolan © 2016

You have a cute southern drawl
she said.

You are not brilliant but I like your ***
was the best  I could offer.

You from Mississippi?
No, southern Iowa.

Not much difference in men
all weighed and measured;

this, we both
understood.

The reality you feel
Is the illusion your insecurities have fed you.
The observations made become your assumptions
That destroy the beauty of the unknown.
The words you choke on
Distort truth to lies.

Then your silence feeds your fears
Until your heart begins to fill with doubt.
The possibilities dissipitate
Sabotaged any friendship, any hope, any adventure, any future.
Convinced by the anxiety that warps your mind,
You close yourself.

There's no way back through the twisted silence and physical separation.

Ruined.