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 Nov 2016 Kewayne Wadley
River
I met you
Last night
I felt so hollow yesterday
I nearly bit my
customer's face off
With their smile
And cackling laugh
Drowning me,
choking me
I felt like punching,
I considered
taking up boxing

Why do I try to be perfect?
Why do I try to suppress
everything
Push everything down
Be quiet about who I really am?
Because I'm so
*******
scared
There is no other reason
It's this
fear that's my one and
only demon

You're not a lover
You're a friend for shallow times,
for cheap thrills
You brought me back to
my teenage years
I drank half a beer
because I hate being
high
I smoked a cigarette
And you said
You're not acting Christian tonight
But who am I?
And who was I?
I never knew

We stole pumpkins
off of porches
Quiet homes tucked away
Warm light emitting
from partly concealed windows
I protested
But you persisted
And I laughed and
howled with an
artificial delight

We smashed the pumpkins
And stuck our hands in
Feeling the gooey innards
We didn't talk much
Maybe we had nothing in common
But it was nice
To have no words
To be terrified
To feel my fear,
and do it anyway.
Ara
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder I told her
As her knees trembled from the weight of the compliment I bestowed her
Often benevolent
Clearly Heavensent
If God truly has say in the matter
Awkwardly eloquent
She reflected pretentiousness
Yet never projected the latter
Her eyes luminescent
Her body quintessence
To a hedonist, a lover, or sculptor
She beared the essence of loathsome life lessons
So there lay apprehension
When I vowed to properly love her
Love doesn't aim to control or curb or force...rather it encourages, supports and persuades..if it does the former...then it isn't and cannot be love.
the spider drops down as I lay in my bed
"just the person I needed to see," I said
"every night the ceiling stares back at my face
so my eyes wander to the edge."

"you're always in the corner consumed by your web,
and the same question always spins in my head:
what's it like living in the darkest corners of the room?"
and he said,
"the darkest corners of life only exist in your mind."
TLTSOL
At what point
did it start?
they ask.

An endless rhetoric,
slyly demanding
unremembered
histories

I don't know.
a simple answer

feelings  do not
come into your
heart with
warning

they bang on
your rib cage,
a dull echo
shuddering through
your body

I am not
a moment
captured  in
a photograph

stained sepia,
a sliced negative

It did not
start with
the click
of a clock

stopping the
hour hand
at twelve

it consumed me,
slowly. The sea
does not devour
the sand with a
single wave

it is the
onslaught of
sadness creeping
into your blood

a parasite,
a lowering of
cells

it is
criminal,
and I am it's
victim

as you try
to execute
my misery
with pills

(electric shocks)

crisp white sheets,
pulled so tight
they feel like bandages.

Wrapping around my limbs
until I am paralysed
with emptiness

one bed, one desk,
one chair

a tick sheet of
sorrow that I am
now pinned
to

like a butterfly,
living for only
one day

but pressed and
preserved

indefinitely
lord
i
dip
my brush
into
this
can of paint
to
paint
the world
that
ain't
stellar sketch
on waste paper

unfortunate, he said
and left without a glance

snobbery stiffened
his regal back *****

what number
I mused

adept at
brisk dispersal

another spent
autumn leaf

from wrong part
of town

crushed underfoot
with swift disdain

familiar pain screams
on mute screen

tears leave as rage
breaks grief's hold

walls bleak
accuse

sunken eyes pierce
where hope once sang

free in life's
sun-kissed  field

before awareness
smirked crude

shaking illusion's
ephemeral sigh
For some reason catching sight of this pic elicited this poem...
https://www.flickr.com/photos/damianward/30230313085/in/faves-51029280@N05/
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